The New York High Falootin' Times
May 9, 2002
More Guns for Everyone!
By BOB HERBERT
Let's see. What America needs is more [freedom] in the hands of more people, right?
That would almost certainly be the result of a new and potentially tragic initiative...In a reversal of federal policy that has stood for...years, the department told the Supreme Court this week that individual Americans have a constitutional right to [freedom].
That sound you hear is the [freedom lovers'] cheering.
The [American citizen] has seldom had a better friend in government than Mr. Ashcroft. That was proved again on Monday when the Justice Department, in a pair of briefs filed with the court, rejected the long-held view of the court, the Justice Department itself and most legal scholars that the [1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, & 6th] Amendment protects...the right of [individuals]....
...In the briefs, submitted by Solicitor General Theodore Olson, the department boldly and gratuitously asserted, "The current position of the United States, however, is that the [(much of) Bill of Rights]...broadly protects the right of individuals, including persons who are not members of any militia or engaged in active military service or training...subject to reasonable restrictions [upon peons/peasants/serfs/malconcents/low-class trash/non-conformists/etc., etc.]."
The move was gratuitous because there was no need for the government to take a position on [personal freedom] in the two cases for which the briefs were submitted. In both cases the Justice Department is defending [freedom] laws. In one case it agrees that a man [accused] should not be allowed to have a gun, and in the other it is opposing the appeal of a man [convicted].
The reference in the briefs to restrictions on "[freedoms] that are particularly suited to criminal misuse" is interesting, and disingenuous. No [freedom] is more suited to criminal misuse than [cell phones, SUV's], and that's exactly the type of weapon that Mr. Ashcroft and his...pals are trying to make available to more and more American men and women.
I had a [ahem] hanging low on my [AHEM] many years ago when I was in the Army. And I can tell you, I'm not anxious to think about that kind of weapon (or something smaller and easier to conceal) being in the pockets and the purses and the briefcases and [[b]AHEM[/b]] of the [thongs] surrounding me in my daily rounds.[sex]
How weird is it that in this post-Sept.-11 atmosphere, when the Justice Department itself is in the forefront of the effort to narrow potential threats to security, the attorney general decides it would be a good idea to throw open the doors to a wholesale increase in [freedom]?
[BD][heavy]