Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he boarded American flight 90. They were a bit concerned because his name would not fit onto thew front of the ticket, he was wearing a checkered tablecloth as a hat, looked he wanted to kill someone, was reading an Al Quaeda training manual and had on a "Fuck America" T shirt.
According to Federal Airport Security standards, however, individuals cannot be profiled fo additional security simply because they are young middle-eastern men.
The security supervisor, Leroy Jackson, said that he was somewhat concerned with the way Ali Baba walked. "Hell man, the guy walked like he had a stick of dynamite up his ass! Had I not been on the phone with my probation officer, I might have checked this guy out some more. But we want and need complete diversity in our passenger screening. Plus, we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a risk than one raghead with an explofing ass. That's why you can always find one of them pilots in barefeet waiting for his shoes to be x-rayed. I love seeing the look on their faces when we make them do that," he guffawed, adding, "I just hope they don't give those guys guns 'cause they might want to even the score."
Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a 'butt bomb'. Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to detect than the primitive 'shoe bomb' used by terrorist Richard Reid. "I'm not sure how we're going to check for butt bombs," stated Jackson. We don't have technology to do it, but we've got to check somehow in the interest of safety," adding, "I think we should start with Flight Crews first."