fuck it , insert long wall of text drama here ....

ciff notes :
Younger brother lost job 1 yr ago , his wife left with kids , he lost his car and apartment and came to live with me while he looks for a real job 6 months ago .Pays me 200 a month for low rent so he can catch up and get on his feet. Fast forward 6 months , I buy him a cheap car , he find a 9$ an hour job at a cycle parts counter yet he is capable of making 40k a yr doing IT but ' he hates doing support' so he barley gets by . Now he is dating a shady girl with no DL and he lets her use his car , and she is UNHOT no pic but  .

My cop buddy runs her name today and tells me to eject them both from premises as she is felon but he wont give me details. So my lease is up in 90 days and brother wants to move with me but wants to pay a percentage of his pay instead (450$) of half the rent/bills (900$ is half) since he can't afford it so he can save more to get on his feet . He wants crack whore to be able to stay over and be live in GF ... but i have guns in the house so I have to lock them up all the time when she is over. She doesn;t know i have them or is aware i know of her record but I told my bro who doesn't care ...

Today I told him , tough shit dumb ass , go find a IT job for 40k/yr ( he could do this easily) and get your own place as you are not moving with me when the time comes since you refuse to work for real money and just slide by  and can't afford the new rent and I don't like ex con crack whore in my house. He has a fit , says im setting him up to fail and he can't afford his own place and in 90 days and he will have to live in his car. Am i an asshole ? i may be anyway but I have helped him for 6 months and he has made ZERO effort to improve his situation except to get some nasty pie ... What say the hive ?  should i do the crack whore then kick them both out and take my car back ?


3/15 Update !  so its time to move , he has done nothing to improve his situation so I just took him to wal mart and bought him a 99$ Mongoose BMX bike (he is 33 yrs old) as he wants to ride the bike to work and let the crazy girl have his car, he had to give me his house key(getting locks changed tomorrow morning) and be out by 8pm. he is packing his few things into a plastic tote box and im dropping him off at one of his sketchy co workers to live ( they have 2 kids , dad is felon )... I felt bad so i gave him a few groceries and 150$ and i told him i didn't want to hear from him or see him for at least 1 year. oh and his paychecks started getting docked for child support so he gets to take home a whole 98$ a week. He finds this acceptable   Well ....bye.

Do not help those unwilling to help themselves.

Woah, you bought your brother a car?  Wow...

yea , a beater 97 Subaru lesbian wagon for 750$ , runs ok and gets him to work....

You did the right thing.

IMO you were more than gracious. I presonally would not let someone elses problems become mine.

Tough love time, keep 'em out. When you move, don't let him know the new address. Your brother has some life decisions to make, tell him to consider the car a gift but not to ask for anything more.

Jeez, i think you have gone above and beyond.

Tell him you want to live alone. I would never have a another room mate unless I was married to her.

Tough Love do it if you really do Love him.


The Best thing people ever did for me was to
NOT help me and force me to get my shit together.


I just wish my parents had done the same with my siblings

You feel bad because you want to improve your living conditions and protect yourself?  Doesn't seem right.

You are doing the right thing. They move with you and your names on the lease. Next thing you know, cops kick in your doors looking for dope that the crackhead GF is selling what not and arrest you for it as well. Too much drama remove yourself. My .02

This, you have been very patient.

Keep an eye on your shit, it may start disappearing.  You were nicer to him than I would have been.

this X10.

Everything is locked up in safe , in my room  which is also locked , have alarm and motion sensor webcam in the bedroom that emails me on motion and sends me a photo every 10 seconds

she is not a genuine crack whore ..more of a party Rave girl .. just a shady past with some drug charges and malicious wounding ( she did tell me she was attacked once which i think is what its about) about 3 years ago , nothing recent but i would not leave her alone in my house

You have helped him about 3 months longer than I would have.

Throw his ass to the curb. You have done more than enough.

Sorry, that's not a valid excuse.



If he hates it so much he so have gotten his shit together in 6 months so he wouldn't have to go back to it.  He's been riding your generosity to a while now.  And that "setting me up to fail" remake would have be answered with "which part? by buying you a car or letting you live here at a discounted rent? Cause we can change both of those quick"





 

update in op

What was his life before he lost his job? He is 33 years old after all. You mentioned he was married and his wife left after he lost his job. Sounds like to me his marriage was already on the rocks before he even lost his job. What I am getting at is that it sounds like he hasn't always been a loser. What pushed him into loserville? A divorce coupled with losing a good job could do it. Depression, substance abuse, etc... Why has he lost all drive in life? It isn't your job to fix him, especially if he is unwilling to fix himself. It sounds as if he might need to hit rock bottom before he can climb out though. You did the right thing to kick him out IMO.