A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town.  He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.  
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies wiping his mouth, "it's just ice cream."

Thats a funny one. I LMAO everytime I see it[:D]

[size=2][b]A Vatican Penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices the oil pressure light is on. He gets out of his pope-mobile to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the Vatican Penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an church, and then a ice cream shop, and being a priestly penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the Vatican penguin replies, wiping his mouth, "it was just the alter boy."[/size=2][/b]

Two drunks walk up to the zoo gate.  One of them asks the attendant, "Are you missing any penguins from here?"

The attendant says no, they aren't missing any penguins.

The second drunk punches the first on the arm and says, "See?  I TOLD you you hit a nun!"

What did the black guy  say when two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes!

waiting for DaveG, the uber-sensitve racist detector that he is, to lock this post now.

Seriously, DaveG has no fricken sense of humor on this kind of this---ask him!

Did you hear about the Vatican Dry Cleaners?

Its said to smell of Pouperie! [}:D]

A motor cop is sitting behind a billboard when he clocks a van doing 100mph and what looks like little kids in sunglasses packed into the back.

He pulls them over and stomps up to the van. Inside he sees two teenage girls and a butt load of penquins with all kinds of beach regalia on... "What the hell are you doing with all those penquins in there!" he shouts. The driver says; "Were going to the beach!" "Oh hell no;" the cop says, "you take those penguins to the zoo young lady!"  He proceeds to issue her a warning and they drive off.

Toward the end of his shift, He's cruising down the highway and sees the van rocketing past him in the other lane... Super pissed, he turns around and pulls the driver over again.

The cop walks up to the van and to his amazement, sees all the penquins flopping around in the back wearing all kinds of animal t'shirts and holding balloon animals. "I thought I told you to take those penquins to the zoo!" He shouts.   "We did!" the second girl exclaims... "Now were on our way to the movies."

Woohoo!  A new penguin joke!  Thanks, rallywagon!