Business Signs:

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a military hospital-door to colonoscopy:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company:
"Don't sleep with a drip.  Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza  makes one weak."

Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our  pizza.  We knead the dough."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us  to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a dry cleaners:
"How about we refund  your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store  and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an  arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an electrician's truck:
"Let us  remove your shorts."

In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke,  we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push.  Push."

At an optometrist's office:
"If you  don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window:
"We really  know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds  all heels."

On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food  is expensive."

At a car dealership:
"The best way to  get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment  necessary. We hear you coming."

In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be  back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the electric company:
"We would be  de-lighted if you pay your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand  there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a propane filling station:
"Tank  heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak

On a garbage truck in Jersey City:
Double Your Trash Back If Not Delighted!

They did exactly that in an episode of the Sopranos.  Hilarious.

Not quite in the same league, but I drive by a Podiatrist's office every day.  Dr. Charles Foote.

I saw this truck in 1981.  Probably still there.

On a liquor store

"Bunghole liquors"

JACK DANIELS...
Found at Classy establisments..
and questionable joints everywhere...

My Accountants

Lye, Cheatum and Steele

Dewey, Cheatham and Howe, Attorneys At Law.

[b]Signs  Signs
Everywhere there's signs
Blocking up the scenery
Breaking up my mind
Do this,  don't do that
Can't you read the sign[/b]

somebody listens to CarTalk on NPR!