So, I'm standing outside, enjoying this wonderful day, when I see an ant walking by my boot. I stick my index finger down by him and allow him to crawl up.
Me: So, do you like hot wings?
Ant: Initiate protocol "seek GRUBWORM"... must harvest GRUBWORM for colony/feed LARVAE/feed the QUEEN/feed WORKERS/feed DRONES/.. awaiting protocol: search outside of colony 500cm northwest/turn 30 degrees south/[awaiting query] Must repair cavity destruction on top of mound [Approximately 28 full hours required] - Oversee new larvae from the QUEEN/MUST PROTECT THE QUEEN/REPEAT PROTECT QUEEN
Me: Heh.. it was pretty funny, at Hooters on Saturday the girl kept pressing her breasts on this guy as she kept reaching over to place the food on the table, I think it was too obvious she wanted to be tipped, what do you think?
Ant: [Awaiting query]Restructure [and] complete remaining architecture of subterranean Unholy Catherdral ///Hollow out remains of locusta acrididae corpse #8/feed QUEEN/standby to receive rancid flesh of canis familiaris/upon completion of flesh harvest of canis familiaris: commence food distribution (GNAWED FLESH to ANTS [WORKERS]) (GNAWED FLESH to ANTS[DRONES]) (GNAWED FLESH to LARVAE) [awaiting protocol]:... [feed divine glucose and sap to QUEEN]/... upon completion of nutrititive hive distribution: Enable 450 workers into creation of 9 extra air canals to QUEENS chamber/MUST PROTECT QUEEN/Must produce LARVAE
Me: Today while driving to work, I tried to think of any excuse I could to turn around and just go back home. But goddamn it I promised the Boss I'd finish that project today.
Ant: [Allow patrolling of 900 soldiers extending out 1200cm in circular proximity]/[awaiting query]... Must protect FOOD from ANT HIVE # 39568204/MUST PROTECT QUEEN/Must protect EMPIRE/[Protocol initiated] Retrace pentagram at bottom of hive/Bow down BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE/[Awaiting protocol] Incantation of MANTRA - [QUERY SENT] /COLONY under observation by ANT HIVE # 39568204/[repeat query]ANT HIVE # 39568204/Prepare to ORDER/ - DECOMPOSE AND DESTROY///ANT HIVE # 39568204 represents THREAT TO QUEEN representing THREAT TO HIVE representing THREAT TO FOOD/REPEAT THREAT to QUEEN in THE WORKS/ Exactly 590 soldiers from ANT HIVE # 39568204 rapidly approaching/Use of STING initiated/ Initiate command upon deathmatch[Squeeze ventricles with sting inserted between soft spot of thorax and abdomen WITH use of mandibles TO SPLIT THORAX and other threatening extremities]/Must protect HIVE/MUST protect LARVE/repeat MUST protect LARVE/repeat MUST protect LARVE/repeat MUST protect LARVE/repeat MUST protect LARVE/MUST PROTECT QUEEN