A first grade teacher explained to her class that she was a liberal Democrat. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands exploded into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There was, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asked Lucy why she decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a liberal Democrat," Lucy said.

The teacher asked, "What are you?"

"I'm a proud conservative Republican" boasted the little girl.

The teacher, a little perturbed and red-faced, asked Lucy why she was a conservative Republican. Lucy proclaimed, "Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too."

The teacher calmly pointed out, "That's no reason. What if your Mom and Dad were both morons? What would you be then?"

Lucy answered, "Then, I'd be a liberal Democrat."

LOL  Good one!

It seems to me sometimes liberal Democrats just NEED to be made fun of. [;)]

Nice!  

LOL.

Here's another:

It’s the first day of school in Houston and the teacher thought she’d get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: “My name is Mary and my daddy is a postman.”
The next little boy says: “I’m Andy and my Dad is a mechanic.”
Then one little boy says: “My name is Jimmy and my father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men.”

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher
approaches Jimmy privately, and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in
a gay bar. He blushed and said, “I’m sorry but my dad is an auditor for Arthur Andersen and I was just too embarrassed to say so.”

ROTFL!![beer]

Excellent - good way to end my shift.  Been a good night altogether.  Low volume of work.  Binged with red hot burritos and a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch.

Life is good.

Tate

Love'em both! One more for ya.


Bambi, the blonde in her fourth year as a freshman at Texas Tech, sat in
her
U.S. Government class.

The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi thought a moment, then answered, "that was the decision George
Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware."

An elderly couple has decided to get married. The old man, wanting to know his future bride a little better, asks how often she likes to have sex. She replies, "i like it infrequently".

The old man pauses for a moment, then asks "was that one word or two".

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil!! We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for this is purely geographical. All the oil is in Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Wyoming, etc.

.. All the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

yet another old sex joke (literally)

A couple met in the retirement home, fell in love, and decided to get married.  On the wedding night, the gent reach over to his bride and held her hand.  On the second night they held hand again.  On the third night, the bride says "Not tonight, hon.  I have a headache."

Q: Why do angels fly in circles?

A: Because in heaven, there is no left wing.