Oh god, now it's getting laughable.

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Oh god, now it's getting laughable.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:48:39 PM EDT

Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:49:42 PM EDT

[#1]

All that warrants in response to her is one of these "

"

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:50:59 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Tell her you're working out so you can see your dick when you masturbate since she doesn't want anything to do with it anymore. That will shut her up.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:51:04 PM EDT

[#3]

I think every woman whose man starts taking better care of himself thinks that, shouldn't be a surprise.

You wouldn't suspect anything if she suddenly lost a bunch of weight, started dressing provocatively and wearing makeup? It's the same thing.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:51:14 PM EDT

[#4]

offer to let her watch. tell her if she like what she sees, she can join in.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:51:47 PM EDT

[#5]

Well, being this is GD and bad advice is the norm, I'll just say this:

Ask he what her sister's number is.
I mean, what harm could it do?

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:53:04 PM EDT

[#6]

Eject?

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:53:35 PM EDT

[#7]

Fuck her. Literally. Fuck her brains out. Every damn night.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:53:48 PM EDT

[#8]

Let her think it.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:53:52 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

Well, being this is GD and bad advice is the norm, I'll just say this:

Ask he what her sister's number is.

I mean, what harm could it do?

I know my SIL's number. We already flirt like crazy. But it is all in good fun.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:54:03 PM EDT

[#10]

ask her to work out with you?

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:54:36 PM EDT

[#11]

So..., any luck?

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:55:32 PM EDT

[#12]

Tell her she should be worried if there ain't an increase in ass being distributed

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:56:44 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

ask her to work out with you?

I've been trying to get her healthier for years. She is Type 1 diabetic and thinks taking her insulin means she doesn't really have to do anything else.

I offered to help her with some exercise. She could run around the back yard while I try to hit her in the ass with a trank dart loaded with her insulin.

She didn't like that idea.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:57:30 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Let her think it.

This...Make her so jealous that she screws you all the time. (the good kinda screw, not take all your shit and leave kinda screw)

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:57:52 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Maybe you are.

Posted: 3/9/2010 4:58:06 PM EDT

[#16]

I've always been the better looking half of all my relationships.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:00:00 PM EDT

[#17]

She thinks this cause some dipshit columnist in cosmo or some other horses***t magazine needed to fill some space and had another 25 signs your man is cheating you column. As always, one of the top sign being "he started exercising and getting fit".

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:00:24 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Tell her you wouldn't be if she would get her ass on the excercize machines with you! I double-dog dare you!

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:00:40 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

You know why she thinks that?

Because somewhere in that head of hers, she really couldn't blame you if that were the case.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:00:45 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Wife tells me that she thinks i am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Tell her you're working out so you can see your dick when you masturbate since she doesn't want anything to do with it anymore. That will shut her up.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:01:00 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

I've always been the better looking half of all my relationships.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:01:10 PM EDT

[#22]

Did your wife recently start working out?

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:01:56 PM EDT

[#23]

Hey, tell my wife to let you alone and send her home please.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:03:13 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:

Did your wife recently start working out?

Uh, no.

Last night, for instance, I had a nice piece of pollock over a bed of rice and veggies for dinner. She had pizza, pasta and ice cream for dinner.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:08:07 PM EDT

[#25]

Tell her you're going to the candle conference and will be banging all the women there.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:09:13 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:

Tell her you're going to the candle conference and will be banging all the women there.

I've seen a lot of those women.

Not a chance. (we really need a shuddering smiley)

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:11:08 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:

Quoted:

ask her to work out with you?

I've been trying to get her healthier for years. She is Type 1 diabetic and thinks taking her insulin means she doesn't really have to do anything else.

I offered to help her with some exercise. She could run around the back yard while I try to hit her in the ass with a trank dart loaded with her insulin.

She didn't like that idea.

i LOVE that idea.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:11:27 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:

Not a chance. (we really need a shuddering smiley)

How about a facepalm smiley?

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:12:30 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Did your wife recently start working out?

Uh, no.

Last night, for instance, I had a nice piece of pollock over a bed of rice and veggies for dinner. She had pizza, pasta and ice cream for dinner.

Tell her you have no intentions of having an affair.....yet.

Tell her that you are trying to look good for her and that it is in her best interest to reciprocate.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:13:51 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Eject?

Ejectamundo!

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:15:02 PM EDT

[#31]

I feel your pain. Mine thinks I'm looking for something else every time I wash my car.

I probably am though....

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:22:05 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Wife tells me that she thinks I am working out and losing weight because I am looking for something on the side.

This shit is just getting too funny to be upset about.

Invite her to the gym and become hard-bodies together. She'll enjoy your mutually elevated libidos.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:23:41 PM EDT

[#33]

Hold your finger under her nose and ask if it still smells like pussy.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:28:22 PM EDT

[#34]

Sounds like a guilty conscience to me... Be prepared for

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:29:39 PM EDT

[#35]

Wait until she demands to smell your dick.

And no, I am not joking.

Posted: 3/9/2010 5:41:01 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
Wait until she demands to smell your dick.

And no, I am not joking.

I'd whip it out and tell her to go for it. Sniff it. lick it, what ever it takes to make her feel better.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:01:13 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Hold your finger under her nose and ask if it still smells like pussy.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:01:42 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Wait until she demands to smell your dick.

And no, I am not joking.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:06:13 PM EDT

[#39]

I thought it was pretty common for women to lose weight and then ditch their man. Seems almost logical she would think men do the same thing.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:35:21 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
I think every woman whose man starts taking better care of himself thinks that, shouldn't be a surprise.

You wouldn't suspect anything if she suddenly lost a bunch of weight, started dressing provocatively and wearing makeup? It's the same thing.

THIS

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:37:22 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:

Quoted:

Did your wife recently start working out?

Uh, no.

Last night, for instance, I had a nice piece of pollock over a bed of rice and veggies for dinner. She had pizza, pasta and ice cream for dinner.

You should rig her scale so once it hits a weight a not appears and it says "Going to cheat on you"

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:37:50 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

I thought it was pretty common for women to lose weight and then ditch their man. Seems almost logical she would think men do the same thing.

I've highlighted some problem-areas in your post.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:38:37 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Did your wife recently start working out?

Uh, no.

Last night, for instance, I had a nice piece of pollock over a bed of rice and veggies for dinner. She had pizza, pasta and ice cream for dinner.

Shes mentally fighting with herself.

She WANTS to look hot but lacks the willpower and drive to do so.

She is now worried that you will follow through with your working out and when standing next to her, will make her feel/look vastly unattractive when compared. Hence why she thinks she will be replaced with a hotter version.

Bitches all think the same. It's all the same to them.

She will either get her ass in gear out of fear, or she will eat pizza and ice cream until she turns into a moo cow.

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:38:58 PM EDT

[#44]

Like I tell my wife "Oh yea! In all my "SPARE" time!"

Posted: 3/9/2010 6:59:58 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:

Quoted:

I thought it was pretty common for women to lose weight and then ditch their man. Seems almost logical she would think men do the same thing.

I've highlighted some problem-areas in your post.

Keyword almost.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Oh god, now it's getting laughable.

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