Sorry if it's a dupe. Some are cheesy but I found a few funny/true.


ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America

AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe

AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.

BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck

BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King

CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

DODGE
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive

EDSEL
Every Day Something Else Leaks

FIAT
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation

FORD
Frigin' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GEO
Good Engineering Overlooked

GM
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus

GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car

GTO
Gas, Tires, Oil

HONDA
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...

JEEP
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
Just Empty Every Pocket

MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MG
Money Guzzler

MGB
Might Go Backwards

MGF
Might Go Forward

MIATA
My Intention Always To Accelerate

MOPAR
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs

MUSTANG
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good

OLDSMOBILE
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment
old ladies driving slowly making other behind insanely late everyday

PINTO
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

PLYMOUTH
Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards

SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid

TRIUMPH
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!

VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW
Virtually Worthless

MOPAR  My Old Plymouth Aint Runnin.

To add to the length Ford list:
Fucked On Race Day
First On Race Day

There is one for Pontiac, but it isn't very p.c. nor allowed on this site........

How about Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge?

<----------------GM fan

Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

That describes all of the Chevys I've had(including the one I'm driving now)

Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

also "cat killer" -- they make a satisfying thumpitythumpthumpthump as they bounced from bumper to ground to underbody to ground etc.  Squirrels sounded better.  Deer, not so much a pleasant noise.  Also didn't do too much damage.  And yes, the car was referred to as "roadkill"

And that's pretty much a perfect decription of my '89 century (RIP 2004).


That said.  Two cavaliers went past 250k miles, the century went almost 200k, and the current POS just dinged 120k.  Other than its oil leak, its not doing too badly - if its like the previous chevys, the slow oil leak won't go away, but won't get any worse, and it'll go 'till 200k.

Quoted: To add to the length Ford list: Fucked On Race Day First On Race Day There is one for Pontiac, but it isn't very p.c. nor allowed on this site........

 --bigscrun

Quoted: Quoted: To add to the length Ford list: Fucked On Race Day First On Race Day There is one for Pontiac, but it isn't very p.c. nor allowed on this site........

quote]



Yea, that was the first one I thought of....anf another for the FIAT crowd

Fukkin'
Idiot
Assembles
This

A friend of mine was into fiat spyders for a while, kinda neat little cars.  There was a fiat owners group with a pile of fiat acronyms.

I like "Grown Men Crying "for GMC meself.

Ford
Fucking Obtuse Redneck Driver

Fucked Over Rattling Dump

Quoted: Quoted: To add to the length Ford list: Fucked On Race Day First On Race Day There is one for Pontiac, but it isn't very p.c. nor allowed on this site........

Yeah that'd be the one.

Buick - Barfed Up Icky Caramel Korn
FOrd - Found On Reservation Dump
Datsun - Detroits Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
Porsche - Perhaps Only Richs Suckers Can Have Em
Lamborghini - Lame Auto Mobile Breaks Often, Repair Guys Havent Ideas Nor Inklings
Ferrari - Flying Enzo Rips Right Apart Rarely Intact
Lotus - Left On The Upper Shelf
AMC - All Motors Clap.

Lame car joke to throw in the mix.....

Whadda ya get when you put a Pontiac motor in a Mustang?
A Poontang.........


JEEP

Just Everyone Else's Parts

GMC:  Generically Made Crap


I do notice there is no International Harvester or Mercedes stuff on there.