Yep Kids that age old cop out came my way at 0500z today.  Been noticing the emails dropping off in frequency and the calls increasing in silence so today I asked the question," Baby is something wrong?" And got that jewel no one wants "I think we moved too fast..." the blithering started from there and I basicly started hearing CHarlie Brown's teacher from that point on.  I figure if she can't wait 4 more days till I get home to tell me she's out then fuck it.  Sooo once I get back to the house, it's back on the prowl- not really though, I figured I could dinamic entry into her place and get to the bottom of things but that wouldn't work as she's living with me --er well now I guess lived with me.   So I think it looks like another EBR is in store for me with the money I'll save.
Anyone else in the same boat as me?  The Y Chromosome...ain't it grandhinking.gif

Bummer.  

I do not know what to say other than that, this just sucks all the way around.  I guess it is better that she shows her true colors now than 10-15 years and 2+ kids down the road or something.

Hope you make it home safe.

Yeah that is the good thing, I'm out a little bit of coin and probably my bassett hound pup but other than that I've got guys already going to the house and securing it to make sure she doesn't get creative with a UHAUL.  Great girl- or so I thought, really do wish this one would have worked but these deployments either make or break relationships from what I've seen. Oh well what can you do?  Crack a brew and drink one for those who can't!!

Welcome to the club- got mine in March.  

Sorry to hear it, that really sucks.

Sorry bud.

Was single on my last deployment, and am currently single on this one.

it's a curse, and a blessing.

Quoted: Sorry bud. Was single on my last deployment, and am currently single on this one. it's a curse, and a blessing.

I am in the same boat and I agree 100%. It sucks to be single but at least you cannot get hurt (ok maybe by the enemy but not that kind of hurt )

I hate to be the one that says this, but I will.

Fuck her and the horse she rode in on.

You are a LOT better off without her.


Trust me on this one.



Sorry it happened to you.

I haven't been on the receiving end of this, but it seems to me that ALL military members ought to just figure that their woman won't wait for them, and that she'll cheat on him. It's just the way most women are; they want SOME man around, and if it isn't you, they'll find someone else. Kids, no kids, doesn't matter.

Frankly, if I was in the military, I would stay single til I got out. Why bother with the hassle of wondering if your woman will stand by you?

Sorry to hear. Our son's girlfriend at least broke up with him just as he was getting ready to deploy. Her excuse she didn't know if she could remain faithful for that long. Glad it happened before he left instead of while he was there.

go on vacation in thailand dude

you will be fine

just got mine too... a "i don't think we should talk anymore" voicemail while I was in the field and no answer on the phone... after 3 years.... bitch

-Roth

I'm truly sorry guys. Just know not all women are that way. I for one would not even think of it. Maybe because I saw it being active duty. When I got out my husband was still in and I supported him and made sure life was easier for him. He never had to worry about me.

sorry dude.  That is sad.

Congrats.  

Quoted: Yep Kids that age old cop out came my way at 0500z today.  Been noticing the emails dropping off in frequency and the calls increasing in silence so today I asked the question," Baby is something wrong?" And got that jewel no one wants "I think we moved too fast..." the blithering started from there and I basicly started hearing CHarlie Brown's teacher from that point on.  I figure if she can't wait 4 more days till I get home to tell me she's out then fuck it.  Sooo once I get back to the house, it's back on the prowl- not really though, I figured I could dinamic entry into her place and get to the bottom of things but that wouldn't work as she's living with me --er well now I guess lived with me.   So I think it looks like another EBR is in store for me with the money I'll save. Anyone else in the same boat as me?  The Y Chromosome...ain't it grand

What a fucking bitch.  Be grateful you found out now.

Quoted: I haven't been on the receiving end of this, but it seems to me that ALL military members ought to just figure that their woman won't wait for them, and that she'll cheat on him.

This is one hell of a slap in the face to a whole LOT of damned good women out there that keep the home fires burning, raise kids and take care of things.

Hardest job in the service: Military wife.

I agree with billclo, those who are staying in the military and get married have it coming to them.  It does not, and will not work out.  I have intentionally stayed single the 12 years I have been in, and wouldn't even think about getting married until I retire.  At my last job prior to this deployment I worked in an office full of E-7s and a couple of us lowly E-6s, there was not one person in the office (except me) that hadn't been divorced at least once.  There is no way the 3.5 years of remote tours and 4 years of TDY I have would have worked with any marriage.  The deployment tempo for all branches of the military is only increasing and they need to stop paying people more to get married.   Encouraging a bunch of irresponsible kids to make the leap when they aren't ready just to get out of the barracks and make some extra dough makes no sense.  Every unit I have been in has been heavily deployed, and I can count the "happy" marriages I have witnessed on one hand.  Billclo is right, its simply not normal for any wife to wait 6 months to a year without their spouse in their life, and most women will not make it, they will cheat (the vast majority) or leave you, its human nature.  Count yourself lucky she didn't take half your retirement pay with her.  

Quoted: Quoted: I haven't been on the receiving end of this, but it seems to me that ALL military members ought to just figure that their woman won't wait for them, and that she'll cheat on him. This is one hell of a slap in the face to a whole LOT of damned good women out there that keep the home fires burning, raise kids and take care of things. Hardest job in the service: Military wife.

Some of us are strong enough to make it. Not every female is like that. Granted I saw my share of marriages break up,but it also wasn't just the wife. Shall I tell you of how many cheating husbands there were as they were waiting for their wives to join them. Shoot one of the E-6's I worked with was screwing my roomate when I lived inthe barracks. He was waiting for his wife and kid to come over. Hate to tell you fidelity is a 2 way street. Saw enough on both sides. I met my husband while I was in,and maybe that gave me an advantage,but I would never concider cheating,etc. Must be why we've been married 21 years.

you weren't married though right?  thats what gets me more than anything is the guys who jumped into the ring just before going overseas to find out all that high dollar money they made and time in the relationship is GONE and now she is entitled to even more.

I say you are better off without her.

If she pulled the pin on you, well in the long run it's probably for the best.  But getting kicked in the teeth is never fun or pain free.  My brothers first wife did it to him.  But she was a Daddy's girl, they got married and went to Yokosuka, where his everloving lasted for a year and a half.  The Meet at the Club for liquid lunch and bitching society didn't help.  

Ma Danby had a uncle who was a retired Chief GunnersMate EOD/Diver, somewhat estranged from the family, his first marriage had failed as a junior enlisted, his second wife made it for 30+ years before he passed.  Her Step-GrandPa started in the Marines in the 5th Marines in Shanghai in 35 and retired in '65.  Her Dad met and married her Mom when he was in the Marines in the Korean War.  So she had a real good idea what was in store when she started dating a guy in Navy ROTC.  (Although for a period "She Married an Ensign" was her nickname).

I'ld say 50% of the junior enlisted and junior officer marriages I knew fell apart.  Women who don't come from a military background have no concept of what being a military wife (or best girl/significant other etc) entails.  This was 30 years ago now and the culture of instant gratification and no bad times is a lot worse now.  The ladies don't know any better these days.  My parents and grandparents, your  grandparents and great grand parents probably went through the Great Depression and WWII, they worked their butts off so your generation wouldn't have hard times.  Unforunately most young people today have no experience with bad times and can't handle things that previous years would have been laughed off

It isn't easy but  you aren't the first guy to get a Dear John, and you won't be the last, so don't let it drag you down.

Sorry to hear it man. And for all you people talking how it dont work and you shouldnt get married cause your just an e3 is bulls**t. Just cause you got burned for not treating her right dont discourage it for others. I got married then went  to Iraq and things worked out fine. And I dont know of one of my marines I was there with who got a divorce when they got back. Its not about the military or being deployed, Its about being smart enough to see through her BS and knowing the real person. And I gotta go with the weasel up there in saying it IS a 2 way street, More military divorces are from the service member cheating on thier spouse.

I'm an optimistic cynic, so disregard this if you must, but ...

If it is only 4 days until you get home, maybe she is just scared?  Scared to see you agains?  Scared you've changed, or she has.  Scared that things won't be the same, or scared that they will.... the timing just seems...  well, like a deer in headlights.

Maybe you will talk and hang out and it will work out?

Quoted: I'm an optimistic cynic, so disregard this if you must, but ... If it is only 4 days until you get home, maybe she is just scared?  Scared to see you agains?  Scared you've changed, or she has.  Scared that things won't be the same, or scared that they will.... the timing just seems...  well, like a deer in headlights. Maybe you will talk and hang out and it will work out?

Yeah theres more to it than not wanting to be with you. Theres deffinately more than meets the eye.

This is going to go over about as well as a black man at a KKK convention, but:

My wife left her boyfriend who was deployed to be with me.

There were a lot of pre-exiting problems in her relationship - which I will not get into here.

He was shocked when she let him know the relationship was over - however she had been unhappy for several months (before I even met her).

Being deployed it's tough to work on relationship problems - hell, it's tough to keep a good relationship going.

I feel bad for everyone who ever had a S.O. leave them - I've been there and done that.

It doesn't usually happen all of a sudden though - I'd place good money being other problems in the relationship.

Av.

For the most part, women are not creatures of reason.  However, I'm sure I know what was probably going on in her mind.  While you were gone, you were sending her some type money, right?  She leeched off of it and went out and did her own thing while you were risking your neck defending freedom and now that you are almost home she's trying to cut all ties.  Chances are she's with somebody local that you'll find out about sooner or later by going to local bars or talking with your neighbors.

I've been there and done that.  It's retarded and as much as you want to tell yourself "that's not what is going on" it still doesn't shield you from the reality of things.  Most of the guys that have worked for me have all been down this road as well.  I've sat and talked with NUMEROUS of my buddies / subordinates about their relationship problems after deployments because of situations JUST LIKE THIS.

My advice:  Cut your losses.  Never even try to talk to her again.  Don't be bothered by her or anything that reminds you of her.  Let it go and go find some stray.  The right one will come along when you are least expecting it, and this won't be the last time that you'll have to go through this.  Good luck and happy hunting.

Quoted: Its not about the military or being deployed, Its about being smart enough to see through her BS and knowing the real person. And I gotta go with the weasel up there in saying it IS a 2 way street, More military divorces are from the service member cheating on thier spouse.

Without a doubt.

At one base I was at there was a HUGE wife swapping/swingers club with everybody from an O-5 in it down to E-2's and all ranks inbetween.

Funny how the vast majority of them ended up divorced after sleaping around like chunky penut butter and nobody was deployed while this was going on.  

You can always marry a sweet Asian girl.

Hell, if she can't stick with you and be true blue while you're in the sandbox, she ain't worth a squirt when you come home. Remember, you're the goodguy who laid it on the line while she stayed at home without a worry in the world, cozy and warm with no one shooting at her whilst her biggest concern was what flavor of ice cream to shove in her betraying mouth.

Consider yourself lucky to be rid of a real zit on the ass of humanity, scope out some chick who's in the .mil coming home from the sandbox who's actually got some honor and a clue.

Quoted: This is going to go over about as well as a black man at a KKK convention, but: My wife left her boyfriend who was deployed to be with me. There were a lot of pre-exiting problems in her relationship - which I will not get into here. He was shocked when she let him know the relationship was over - however she had been unhappy for several months (before I even met her). Being deployed it's tough to work on relationship problems - hell, it's tough to keep a good relationship going. I feel bad for everyone who ever had a S.O. leave them - I've been there and done that. It doesn't usually happen all of a sudden though - I'd place good money being other problems in the relationship. Av.

Bad Mojo.... You fucked up and you simply CANT justify being instrumental in fucking over a deployed servicemember no matter what you say. There are other SINGLE women, available right now that you could have picked from. How can you even sleep at night? Damn...

Quoted: You can always marry a sweet Asian girl.

I was wondering who was going to break spades on that one here!

Quoted: For the most part, women are not creatures of reason.  However, I'm sure I know what was probably going on in her mind.  While you were gone, you were sending her some type money, right?  She leeched off of it and went out and did her own thing while you were risking your neck defending freedom and now that you are almost home she's trying to cut all ties.  Chances are she's with somebody local that you'll find out about sooner or later by going to local bars or talking with your neighbors. I've been there and done that.  It's retarded and as much as you want to tell yourself "that's not what is going on" it still doesn't shield you from the reality of things.  Most of the guys that have worked for me have all been down this road as well.  I've sat and talked with NUMEROUS of my buddies / subordinates about their relationship problems after deployments because of situations JUST LIKE THIS. My advice:  Cut your losses.  Never even try to talk to her again.  Don't be bothered by her or anything that reminds you of her.  Let it go and go find some stray.  The right one will come along when you are least expecting it, and this won't be the last time that you'll have to go through this.  Good luck and happy hunting.

We're not creatures of reason yet you advocate picking up someone else's cast-offs?

Ok...sounds reasonable

Sorry...just struck me as ass-smacking hilarious, that!

Quoted: We're not creatures of reason yet you advocate picking up someone else's cast-offs? Ok...sounds reasonable hilarious,

By stray I meant someone that wasn't claimed and that you have no intentions of keeping around for more than 15 minutes after you have had fun with them.  Maybe if you were a creature of reason you would have picked up on that one.

Hehe...Just kidding.

Hey man kick the shit under the rug , you have a life too, remember tomorrow is the first day of "Your Life" keep your eyes on the horizon and don't ever forget to watch your six. thank you for your service to me and my family and america , get the crap out of your head , the only one thats gonna bring you home safe to all of us , is you . this crap cant last for ever , keep your mind clear and come home safe.

In VN every one I knew had a dear John, no one who was married had it last.  In my case I broke up with a girl when she found out I had volunteered for a tour of duty.  I didn't have to but re-enlisted to do that.  She actually wanted to know why I wanted to be a baby killer.  At least you guys aren't having to deal with that bullshit.  But, when you get home I guarantee what you find will be much better than the slut you were married to.