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Posted: 12/26/2005 10:37:02 PM EDT
So I was over at WS4LIF's parents during Christmas and his mom leans over to me and says, " So do you know that women with big boobs work at Hooters?" and I was like well yeah.... then she says, " Well where do women with one leg work?" and I said I dunno... She says, " IHOP" hahaha I thought it was funny
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 5:59:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By HotPink:
So I was over at WS4LIF's parents during Christmas and his mom leans over to me and says, " So do you know that women with big boobs work at Hooters?" and I was like well yeah.... then she says, " Well where do women with one leg work?" and I said I dunno... She says, " IHOP" hahaha I thought it was funny



You are silly!
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 6:30:47 AM EDT
By the way Mike's Mom is a nice person but his dad Kicked me out of his neighborhood.. LOL.
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 7:36:06 AM EDT
They have a strick no asian policy, it's in the home owners rules. Gotta follow the rules right?


Link Posted: 12/27/2005 10:03:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2005 10:04:00 AM EDT by Cape_hunter]
This lady walks into a bar, raises her right arm, exposing her extremely hairy amrpits and says, "I'll have a Gin and tonic."
The drunk on her right says "I'll by this lovely ballerina her drink..put it on my tab."
Bartender nods and hands the lady her drink
She quickly finishes her drink and raises her left arm, exposing again another hairy armpit and says, "I'll have another please."
The drunk on her left follows the other drunks lead and says "I'll by this lovely ballerina her drink..put it on my tab."
Bartender nods and starts to pour, but puzzled by the drunks stops and leans to hte drunk on the left and says "How do you know she is a ballerina?"
The drunk replies "Cuz only a ballerina can lift her leg above her head that high.*hicup*"
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 10:30:08 AM EDT
YOU GUYS ARE TERRIBLE!
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 11:41:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/27/2005 11:41:48 AM EDT by Unka-Boo]
Ma and Pa were sitting at home one evening, waiting up for their daughter to get back from her night out with her boyfriend.
Somehow, while eating peanuts, Pa managed to get one lodged in his ear. Well he tried and tried to get it out, but couldn't. When the daughter and her boyfriend showed up, Ma told them what had happened and that they needed to go to the hospital. Wanting to help, the boyfriend siad he knew what to do.
"I'm gonna put my fingers in your nose, and I want you to blow hard, OK?" Pa agreed, and when they did, the peanut came shooting out. All was better, the boyfriend said goodnight, and the daughter went to bed.
Ma was very impressed, " That was a very nice young man, wasn't he Pa? "
" Yes, he was, and from the smell on his fingers, he's gonna be your new son in law....."
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 11:54:11 AM EDT
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, "I'm Jesus Christ."
The first priest says, "No, son, you're not."
So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, "No, son, you're not."
The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the two priests.
The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?"
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 11:56:05 AM EDT
Three nuns were talking........
The first nun said "I was cleaning in Father’s room the other day and do yuo know what i found? A bunch of pornographic magazines."
"What did you do?" , the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course i threw them in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, i can top that. I was in Father’s room putting away laundry and i found a bunch of condoms!"
"Oh, my!", gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?", they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them!", she replied.
The third nun fainted.
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 11:57:06 AM EDT
A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call, the drunk stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time, to the same result.
He figured he’d crawl outside to get some fresh air, since maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.
When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face.
He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.
This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So you’ve been out drinking again, have you?!"
"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best innocent expression.
"The pub called... you forgot your wheelchair again."
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 12:00:50 PM EDT
wheelchair....oh damn......
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 12:37:34 PM EDT
Unka Boo your peanut joke was so gross! But very funny!!!
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 1:47:51 PM EDT
My husband's Aunt introduced herself to me by telling me a joke [so much for first impressions!]

She says "hello, I'm Diane -- do you know why the witch flew her broom with her panties off?



Me.... No?

Diane "To get a better grip"

Link Posted: 12/27/2005 2:20:00 PM EDT
Patty that's a great joke!
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 5:05:36 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 9:30:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By HotPink:
So I was over at WS4LIF's parents during Christmas and his mom leans over to me and says, " So do you know that women with big boobs work at Hooters?" and I was like well yeah.... then she says, " Well where do women with one leg work?" and I said I dunno... She says, " IHOP" hahaha I thought it was funny



Reminds me of my Great aunt who only had one-leg, Eileen.
Link Posted: 12/27/2005 11:11:12 PM EDT
Three guys on shipwrecked and washed up on a beach.. @#@@#$^@#^!@ ... @%@#$%@^$# ... @!%!#$2 3 wishes #$%@^@ .. #$%@#%!@$.. #$%#$. and third wish@#!@%! !^%#$%#...
I'll have a Coke.
Link Posted: 12/28/2005 5:52:02 AM EDT


Three guys on shipwrecked and washed up on a beach.. @#@@#$^@#^!@ ... @%@#$%@^$# ... @!%!#$2 3 wishes #$%@^@ .. #$%@#%!@$.. #$%#$. and third wish@#!@%! !^%#$%#...
I'll have a Coke.



LOL, damn that's a funny joke! LOL
Link Posted: 12/28/2005 1:41:15 PM EDT
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their
bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think
it's about time we started cussing." The 4 year old nods
his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, "When we
go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with
hell and you say something with ass." The 4 year old
agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year
old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell,
Mom, I! g! uess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the
kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes
out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with
every step. His Mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You
can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and
asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for
breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass
it won't be Cheerios."



Link Posted: 12/28/2005 2:55:13 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/28/2005 11:29:26 PM EDT by z3bigdaddy]
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