1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika,
Oneonta, and Eufaula.

2. You think people who complain about the heat in
their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go
out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space
is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they
have sacks and buggys.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at
funerals.

7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an
accent.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like
going to the ocean.

10. You listen to the weather forecast before
picking out an outfit.

11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

12. Someone you know has used a football schedule
to plan their wedding date.

13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle
bigger than your fist.

14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental,
ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy
Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

16. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you
learned how to multiply.

18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' "
to send them to your friends.

Finally:

19. you are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had
this conversation: "You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr Pepper."

I concur, ya'll.  

Quoted:
1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika,
Oneonta, and Eufaula.

Yep. but I'm from Arab, and Oneonta is just up the road. Opelika is like tha hair next to an asshole(Auburn)

2. You think people who complain about the heat in
their states are sissies.

Yep.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go
out in the yard and look for a funnel.

Been there, do that. LOL

4. You know that the true value of a parking space
is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

Not really. I'm lazy

5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they
have sacks and buggys.

Yep.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at
funerals.

That's Knoxville. Wrong state.

7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an
accent.

No, just the Damn Yankees.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

Yep. or hours (Like, Pensacola Beach is 3 1/2 hours from home)

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like
going to the ocean.

Nope, Lived on the Gulf to long. no Comparison.

10. You listen to the weather forecast before
picking out an outfit.

Yep.

11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

Yep.

12. Someone you know has used a football schedule
to plan their wedding date.

Absolutely. And I've missed weddings because the couple was inconsiderate enough to plan their wedding on a Bama Home GameDay.

13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle
bigger than your fist.

Yes. But I think its teh ghey.

14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental,
ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.

Know quite a few stores like that up at home.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy
Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

Nope. I've owned two GM's...I usually just feel sorry for the poor bastard.

16. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

May be decidedly un-Southern of me, but I hate ranch.

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you
learned how to multiply.

Yep. First gun I ever shot was a .44 magnum my Dad's friend Joe owned, when I was 5. Dad thought it's scare the shit out of me, but when I laughed like a little maniac and yelled "Again!!!!" he knew that he'd created a monster.

18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' "
to send them to your friends.
Yep.
Finally:

19. you are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had
this conversation: "You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr Pepper."
Absolutely!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh. Great post.

SG

Born and Raised In Alabama and yep I call everything Coke!  that last one did it for me!  My parents are from Indiana and Chicago, IL.  They call it pop and talk about having to walk to school in the snow!  I call it coke and I'm not sure if there really is such a thing as snow!  Only thing I've ever seen is ICE down here!

On the money

Quoted: 1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika, Oneonta, and Eufaula.  and Sylacagua and.... 2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.  justified by the fact that you can take a shower in July by stepping outside on a sunny day for only a half hour 3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.  or under the carport, atleast 4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.  and also because there's got to be an argument for my lifted truck being hotter due to it's closer vicinity to the sun 5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggys.  and you can come up with a million different creative things to do with each of them 6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.  and school prom 7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.  north of the Mason Dixon, which actually starts on the TN-KY border, yes 8. You measure distance in minutes.  or 'whiles'. e.g.  a while, a little while, etc. 9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.  Smith Lake, yes 10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.  and still end up getting it wrong 11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.  nor do they tip very easily 12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.  it is an understood that you never have anniversaries or showers on a football weekend 13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.  or hair bigger than your toaster 14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in the same store.  we are masters of chinzy efficiency 15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.  who left out 4WD!? 16. You know everything goes better with Ranch.  or Dale's.  Or Milo's sauce 17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.  or you went hunting by yourself as a kid before you starting going with groups of friends as an adult 18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' "to send them to your friends.  like that's an improper phrase or something?.... Finally: 19. you are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation: "You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr Pepper." nail on the head

 

Quoted: 1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika, Oneonta, and Eufaula...

... and Dothan.  

I used to cringe every Fall Saturday hearing the network TV announcer talk about "that fine young athlete from Dothan [soft "O" sound], Alabama."  

Great list, Bama-Shooter!

We scheduled my first cousin's funeral around a football game. One more day to him didn't make any difference.

rk