Your 6 has got to be gettin pretty red, dawg. Last month you were "spanked" at work with the CAM, now you are gettin "screwed" by your cousin. There's a pattern starting here -- it's all self inflected, buddy.
Just realize, that you are in a hole, and stop diggin. OK, I've tossed enough your way...
I think you are doing the right thing by trying to find out what's happening with your cousin. Maybe she needs your help more than ever. Can you call your aunt or uncle, does she have any brothers or sisters, or close friends you can call?, It sounds like you know where she lives in Omak. If she lives with someone, can they help you get in contact with her?
She's the key to gathering facts on why she hasn't been able to make the payments on time. Even if you go talk to a lawyer, he/she is going to be helped by these facts too. If you can understand what is going on from her side, and get the information from her in a nice way, this might not cost you any more money. Afterall, she can just stop making payments, and go on a road trip for a few years, if you get her good and pissed off. Do this right, and you may still end up being able to talk with your cousin and wife after all of this, and your blood pressure will be down below 200/140.
Hopefully she's o.k., and the car is still o.k., and she can get back to making the payments so your day in the barrel goes away for a long long time.