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Posted: 1/3/2006 10:43:45 PM EDT

Top Ten reasons why Men prefer guns over Women:



#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.



And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....



#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Link Posted: 1/3/2006 10:47:37 PM EDT
My wife feels the same way about her Smith & Wesson
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 8:06:55 AM EDT
1a. They always go BANG when you pull the trigger...
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 8:42:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By RedDawg6:

Top Ten reasons why Men prefer guns over Women:


#10. You can trade an old 44 for TWO new 22s.




FIXT!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:22:45 PM EDT
It's not so complicated....

The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are
only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think
we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and
have money, are pigs.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and
thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us
when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with.
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:24:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
It's not so complicated....

The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are
only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think
we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and
have money, are pigs.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and
thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us
when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with
.



Gotta Love That!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:26:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
It's not so complicated....

The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are
only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think
we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and
have money, are pigs.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and
thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us
when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job
to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something
you'd like to have dinner with
.



Gotta Love That!



Thought about making it my sig. line, but this place has too many guys to appreciate it....

Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:30:15 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/4/2006 3:31:09 PM EDT by MrsScrun]

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
Thought about making it my sig. line, but this place has too many guys to appreciate it....




Screw the guys, I thought it was great!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:34:04 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:35:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
Thought about making it my sig. line, but this place has too many guys to appreciate it....




Screw the guys, I thought it was great!




You 2 gonna make out now or something?



Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:36:57 PM EDT
You're right, screw the guys
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:38:47 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
Thought about making it my sig. line, but this place has too many guys to appreciate it....




Screw the guys, I thought it was great!




You 2 gonna make out now or something?



No, you'd enjoy that entirely too much!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:40:06 PM EDT

Top Ten reasons why Men prefer guns over Women


BAH!

Get both!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:41:30 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:42:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:
Thought about making it my sig. line, but this place has too many guys to appreciate it....




Screw the guys, I thought it was great!




You 2 gonna make out now or something?



No, you'd enjoy that entirely too much!




huh, what did you say? I am busy watching porn doing research for the CES here at the shop..............



Fixed it for you.
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:46:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

huh, what did you say? I am busy watching porn here at the shop..............



Take Notes
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:52:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

huh, what did you say? I am busy watching porn here at the shop..............



Take Notes

Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:54:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:56:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MrsScrun:

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

huh, what did you say? I am busy watching porn here at the shop..............



Take Notes




Notes, hell, I am signing up for lessons.



You're such a butthole!

Link Posted: 1/4/2006 3:59:53 PM EDT


Notes, hell, I am signing up for lessons.



While you are at it here is another class you can sign up for I'm sure!
CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY January 5th.

NOTE:
DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.



Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
(Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)


Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.


Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.


Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


*Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 4:00:17 PM EDT
I can think of so many things I'd rather do to with a woman than with a gun... Maybe I'm just an oddball.
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 4:05:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:


Notes, hell, I am signing up for lessons.



While you are at it here is another class you can sign up for I'm sure!
CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY January 5th.

NOTE:
DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.



Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
(Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street)


Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.


Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.


Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


*Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors



Oh, I just love that one! Thanks MsK, you brightened my afternoon.
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 4:05:46 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 4:07:16 PM EDT

Oh, I just love that one! Thanks MsK, you brightened my afternoon.


what are friends for
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 4:16:22 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 5:03:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:

Oh, I just love that one! Thanks MsK, you brightened my afternoon.


what are friends for




3 somes?



Isn't it cute when they beg?


Link Posted: 1/4/2006 5:27:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By bigscrun:

Originally Posted By MSKOOTER:

Oh, I just love that one! Thanks MsK, you brightened my afternoon.


what are friends for




3 somes?



Keep Dreamin!
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 5:51:15 PM EDT
I know someone who should sign up for these:



Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.




Link Posted: 1/4/2006 6:06:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Cherry_45:
I know someone who should sign up for these:



Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.







maybe we can set up a classroom at the next LCR
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 6:07:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/4/2006 6:25:27 PM EDT

Originally Posted By OdT:
Cav will change his mind now.



I'll trick promise him cookies
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