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Posted: 3/28/2006 7:25:05 AM EDT
Don't you hate it hen you get toned out for a good call and then suddenly have to piss or shit. Happened last night as we got called to an indrustrial fire. Got turned out and on the truck and then as we pulled out of the station the raging urge to take a wizz happened. Had it all the way to the call. We get to the call and get put in Level 2 staging for 35 minutes. So I'm looking for a cup or something and nothing is on the truck. End up filling up two XL EMS gloves up and tying them off.

Its just like hide-and-go-seek as kids. You find the most kick ass hiding spot and then you have to piss like a race horse. Just thought you guys might like to hear that.
Link Posted: 3/28/2006 7:38:20 AM EDT
Heheh. On Friday I had to take a crap and as I was heading back to HQ I got sent on a domestic. I had to go so bad I ALMOST asked if I could use their crapper, once we got everything calmed down. Luckily, I made it back to HQ in time to keep from crapping myself, but it took extreme control on my part to buy myself enough time to get all my keepers off and make it to the stall in time. I mean, there you are, the stall is so close, but you still have to take all your crap off before you can go in.


Originally Posted By Jericurl:
Don't you hate it hen you get toned out for a good call and then suddenly have to piss or shit. Happened last night as we got called to an indrustrial fire. Got turned out and on the truck and then as we pulled out of the station the raging urge to take a wizz happened. Had it all the way to the call. We get to the call and get put in Level 2 staging for 35 minutes. So I'm looking for a cup or something and nothing is on the truck. End up filling up two XL EMS gloves up and tying them off.

Its just like hide-and-go-seek as kids. You find the most kick ass hiding spot and then you have to piss like a race horse. Just thought you guys might like to hear that.

Link Posted: 3/28/2006 8:33:46 AM EDT

Originally Posted By trippletap:
I mean, there you are, the stall is so close, but you still have to take all your crap off before you can go in.



I learned quickly what I could eat before shift. A partner of mine also learned to look for the handicap stall so he'd have a secure place to hold his piece while he was dumping.

I'm sure all of us have had someone walk into a public restroom just to see us doing the "poo-dance" while we were unfastening gear.

Well, we gotta uphold our public image.
Link Posted: 3/28/2006 8:54:29 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Jericurl:
Don't you hate it hen you get toned out for a good call and then suddenly have to piss or shit. Happened last night as we got called to an indrustrial fire. Got turned out and on the truck and then as we pulled out of the station the raging urge to take a wizz happened. Had it all the way to the call. We get to the call and get put in Level 2 staging for 35 minutes. So I'm looking for a cup or something and nothing is on the truck. End up filling up two XL EMS gloves up and tying them off.

Its just like hide-and-go-seek as kids. You find the most kick ass hiding spot and then you have to piss like a race horse. Just thought you guys might like to hear that.



Had a perimiter position on a local stand-off a couple weeks ago. Couldn't leave the post, had to throw a wizz. What to do...what to do? Finish a bottle of water, take a "tactical" position at the open squad car door...drop to a knee and hope the civillians don't catch on to what's happening.

Never thought to use a glove...see, this is why I come here - for practical training.
Link Posted: 3/28/2006 10:49:55 AM EDT
One of the worst part about being an LEO. So much gear to take off, ecspecially when you have to shit. I remeber one night I had to shit so bad I clocked a car doing 59 in a 25 and i was like F-it i have to shit. So I went to the PD signed out on pager and took a dump. It wasnt 2 minutes and I got a 911-003 Page, which means something BAD is going down. Well i tried to call on my cell phone and I had no reception, so luckily my portable worked and I called car to car to the other guy to call Dispatch and answer the page and I would be there as soon as I could.

Well when we finally cleared the accident, which turned out to be a fatal. My Sgt. asked me what the hell took me so long, and I was like i had to take the biggest shit ever. And he joked around about writing me up cuz I didnt respond fast enough, lol.
Link Posted: 3/28/2006 2:16:22 PM EDT
A friend of mine was standing next to the front right wheel well of his cruiser writing a speeding ticket on a really hot day when he got a radio call from his supervisor asking why he was peeing on his car in broad daylight. The air conditioner condenser had just dumped a big puddle of water on the pavement in front of where he was standing, and some lady driving by thought he was peeing.

That was a memo....
Link Posted: 3/29/2006 2:29:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/29/2006 2:31:13 PM EDT by EntryTac]
Oh man... funny topic. Funny now, but not when you're in a bind and needin' to go! My worst one... I was headed to the S.O. to answer a pretty urgent nature call when a domestic came out. I was passing the entrance to the trailer park where the call was so I thought I'd whip in and keep things cool long enough for the zone guy to get there, then turn it over to him and head for the restroom. Well I pull up and long story short end up hand to hand with the drunk perp as soon as I get out of the car. Try fighting while you're pokin' daylight with a load!

Anyway, the zone guy pulls up and says, "What can I do to help?" I threw the guy in his back seat and told him to get the info for the report and explained that I had to go. I don't know if the adrenaline dump magnified the urge, or if the call was just tired of being on hold, but I literally had to run code to the South precinct and just BARELY made it. The S.O. was maybe three miles further from the call than the pct. and I honestly do not think I would have made it there.

Another similar story that was much funnier when it happened because it wasn't me... I was in the squad room doing paper work when the Sgt came in and sat down. He had this sick look on his face and didn't say anything. He sat there for a minute, stood up and grabbed his stomache and said, "Oh Shit." We had just been issued new leather gear and the belt fastener on the duty belt was still tight and hard to fasten and unfasten. He started trying to unbuckle his belt and couldn't get it. He yells, "Oh G..D...!" and shoved his gun belt down over his hips to the floor still fastened, tells me to watch his gun, and waddled to the head. I was still laughign when he came out. He didn't find it as funny as I did until later.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 5:50:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ScorpionTower:
A partner of mine also learned to look for the handicap stall so he'd have a secure place to hold his piece while he was dumping.
I'm sure all of us have had someone walk into a public restroom just to see us doing the "poo-dance" while we were unfastening gear.


Yep, I figured that trick out early on. The handicap stall has the handrails, so after you unhook your
duty rig, you can wedge the holster in the rail, on top of the TP dispenser. (Training tips! )

And like EntryTac said, nothing worse than brand-new keepers that don't want to unsnap since they're
so tight. You're browncapping, trying to get all unsnapped, and somebody walks into the bathroom
behind you.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 6:31:07 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Jericurl:
Don't you hate it hen you get toned out for a good call and then suddenly have to piss or shit.


Yep, one of those guaranteed things!
My shift LT decided one night that he wanted burritos, so we went to the local Tex-Mex place. Good
food, but brutal on the digestive system after-effects wise. That's one night when the ol' bunker gear
was working double-duty as a filtration system.

We got toned out around 0200 for an MVA, and as we're going down the road, there's some serious
rumblings in the nether regions. Luckily for everybody in the quint, we were geared up and nobody
had to suffer!
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:24:21 AM EDT
I know for me it seems whenever your stuck on a perimeter you have to take a piss or your starving and just missed lunch/dinner. I've been on several armed barricaded subjects calls where it was either freezing, wet, your hungry and you have to take a piss.

Unless you have a partner nearby it would be hard to leave your assigned spot especially when your pretty close to the target location as I've been behind cover. A recent call we had a armed parolee with a shotgun and one of my beat partners hurried back to his car and grab his lunch box with some goodies. We were on scene for about 4 hours until our SWAT guys after negotiations started launching tear gas into the badguy's house and eventually tasering him when he wouldn't comply with the arrest team commands.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:39:13 AM EDT
Yeah, the rails in the handicap stalls come in handy when you're passin a big one....you know, one of those turds that feels like a baked potato with a nail sticking out the side ......


Originally Posted By ScorpionTower:

Originally Posted By trippletap:
I mean, there you are, the stall is so close, but you still have to take all your crap off before you can go in.



I learned quickly what I could eat before shift. A partner of mine also learned to look for the handicap stall so he'd have a secure place to hold his piece while he was dumping.

I'm sure all of us have had someone walk into a public restroom just to see us doing the "poo-dance" while we were unfastening gear.

Well, we gotta uphold our public image.

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 11:50:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 11:54:34 AM EDT by ScorpionTower]

Yeah, the rails in the handicap stalls come in handy when you're passin a big one....you know, one of those turds that feels like a baked potato with a nail sticking out the side ......


Holy sh**, you and I must have eaten at the same place at one time or another!
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 12:48:39 PM EDT
Happens all the time, just when I need to go real bad, there always seems to be a foot chase just at that moment,ever try to run after someone while the urge to go is screaming at you? Man that is pain.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 4:10:42 PM EDT
I try and keep an extra plastic Powerade bottle in my kit for those occasions. Of course I'm not wearing a fireman's suit.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 5:06:58 PM EDT
That's why I like the accumold belts, just undo the buckle and your belt and pants hit the floorall at once. No need to worry about keepers. Tucking the shirts back in afterward is a pain, but it beats crapping yourself.
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