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Posted: 3/14/2006 6:03:03 PM EDT
Hello Ladies,

I am pretty new to AR.COM and when I saw the ladies forum I thought maybe I could get some female perspective. I grew up around firearms and I love the shooting sports. My wife is the complete opposite. She is scared to death and absolutely hates firearms and refuses to touch them, hold them, and god forbid she fire one. We are very close, and do almost everything else together, except shoot. I would love to get her to go to the range with me, but everytime I bring it up, she'll hear nothing of the sort. I mainly want her to learn how to shoot, so she would be able to defend herself, should the need ever arise, which I hope it never does, but any suggestions on how I can break the shell would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 6:10:34 PM EDT
I totally used to hate the evil black rifles. Hunting was ok. I'd leave some articles laying around pointing out different scenerios about self defense. Ask her to help you clean your weapons after a day at the range. Then explain that you want her to be able to defend the homestead if the need arose. Offer to take JUST HER OUT shooting to get familliar with the guns. Take it slow and don't push. She just needs to see the practicality of it. IMO.
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 6:25:23 PM EDT
I'm not really even concerned about her shooting all of my guns, especially my precious AR. LOL.
But I'd at least like her to be able to handle my .38 spl, and maybe accompany me to the range once in a while. Thanks for the opinion.
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 6:28:06 PM EDT
I'm not a woman but I would say stop cooking for her until she listens to reason. She might only last for a few days before she talks about guns alittle more openly.
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 6:30:51 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 7:25:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
If she won't go to the range with you if you simply ask, then tell her you'll 'trade' a day at the range with you for a day that you'd go with her to do something you wouldn't normally do. (ie, shopping, whatever...)




i dont think thats bribery

i think its a good way to get her there and maybe she will have fun
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 9:06:03 PM EDT
Thanks for the suggestions gals and guys. Keep em comin!
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 9:10:38 PM EDT
I don't think it's that big a deal, It's just something you like to do.
You can't have all the same interests. I 'm sure there's things she likes to do and you don't.
Just part of marriage
Link Posted: 3/14/2006 9:21:16 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheTracker:
I don't think it's that big a deal, It's just something you like to do.
You can't have all the same interests. I 'm sure there's things she likes to do and you don't.
Just part of marriage



Agreed - you can't make people like your hobby.


I mainly want her to learn how to shoot, so she would be able to defend herself, should the need ever arise


You have the proper attitude - I feel the same way.
Desensitize her to them, so she is not scared, or you will have problems in the long run.
I would try a .22 pistol shooting at tin cans or something else.
First time shooters respond well to reactive targets, as they can see "hey I'm doing it!"
Don't push her - try to also take her shooting at a private range where you two will be the only shooters.
I have taken many girls to the range, and it is not fun trying to teach her to shoot the first time with a range nazi breathing down your neck.

Have kids yet?
Don't think she won't insist you sell your guns for the children's safety.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 1:25:35 AM EDT
Tell her if she doesn't go shooting and like it, you'll go find a hot blond and bang her.

It's a no-lose altimatum.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 4:53:23 AM EDT
Do you have any outdoor ranges or trap/skeet shooting in your area? Treating shooting like a "sport" instead of going to a nasty indoor range where it's really noisy and smelly and all the men stare a the women might be a bit more attractive to her. It worked with me!

Start her off slow, with a shotgun at the outdoor range. I loved being outside and shooting "AT" something more than just a boring paper target.

And I liked SP1Grrls suggestion of trading off. You take her shooting, and she takes you somewhere, like a museum or shopping and lunch or whatever she's into.

good idea.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 6:30:55 AM EDT
The hardest thing w/ my current g/f was just getting her to try it........now she enjoys shooting, hunting, etc...

The key is to not pressure her. Let her try it b/c it is something that she wants to do. If you make her go out there with you it will be no fun at all.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 6:42:49 AM EDT
the focus seems to be getting her to the range but i think you need to back up a lot more.
this girl hates guns! you have to start at step one. take her to a sporting goods store to shop and when your there buy a few little things and get her to help you out. say look for exactly the right kind of shotgun shells. ask her if X cammo shirt shirt fits. i think you have to work this one slow. my mom was this way. she didn't come halway around until we had this last big hurricane. she still won't pick up a pistol but can shoot a shotgun ok.

this is a sport that is not for all folks.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 6:53:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
Tell her if she doesn't go shooting and like it, you'll go find a hot blond and bang her.

It's a no-lose altimatum.





Sig line material!
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 8:58:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Punani:

Originally Posted By swingset:
Tell her if she doesn't go shooting and like it, you'll go find a hot blond and bang her.

It's a no-lose altimatum.





Sig line material!



Why Swingset is known far and wide for his fine grasp of the obivous and ability to solve the most complex of problems through in depth cyber counseling. We mere mortals consider ourselves lucky to breath the same air as such a fine specimen of humanity. Knowing him has changed my life in ways I can't begin to describe. I don't think I'm at all out of line when I say "Swingset is a legend in his own mind!"(Just ask Mrs. Swingset)
Read it!
Live it!
Learn it!
Hessian-1
(That will be $10, Craig)
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 9:09:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Punani:

Originally Posted By swingset:
Tell her if she doesn't go shooting and like it, you'll go find a hot blond and bang her.

It's a no-lose altimatum.





Sig line material!



Geez...I could have sworn I clicked on the women shooters forum.

Guess not.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 9:18:49 AM EDT
I have no advice to offer.


<<<-------------
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 9:38:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/15/2006 9:39:01 AM EDT by LIVIDDEVIL]

Originally Posted By mywifehatesguns:
I have no advice to offer. hr


^---------At least I know I'm not alone.

I do not want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to. I just love her more than anything and It would kill me if something ever happened to her that may have been prevented. Plus I like to spend time with her and I'd like to at least have her at the range with me, even if she won't shoot.

As for the ultimatum, as funny as I found that to be, I'm not so sure I would have any testicles left if I told my wife that. I'd probably look like this
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 11:54:18 AM EDT
All you can do is practice safe gun handling and try to assuage her fears. (Most people fear what they don't understand) That being said, most people I have met enjoy shooting reactive targets, provided they have good eye and ear protection.(Nothing is more frightening to a "newbie" than having them shoot "too much gun.") I got my girl a P22. She loves it, but is a little scared of my "bigger, louder guns."
"Baby steps," one step at a time. And make it fun(but safe)
Good luck!
(Love can conquer a lot of fears)
Hessian-1
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 2:23:35 PM EDT
have her talk with us.
Link Posted: 3/15/2006 11:40:55 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/15/2006 11:46:21 PM EDT by steve-oh]
Tell her you're going to see the new Paul Walker movie. Then pull up to the range, all innocent, "What? This isn't the movie theater... hey what are my guns doing in the backseat? Wait a minute... Honey - did you plan this?" She'll love it.

No but in all seriousness; you get her out there just once she'll be hooked, you'll have to buy her all her own crap, that could cost several thousands of dollars, she might start shooting better than you do. Her not liking shooting could be a blessing in disguise.

Link Posted: 3/17/2006 8:38:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LIVIDDEVIL:
I'm not really even concerned about her shooting all of my guns, especially my precious AR. LOL.
But I'd at least like her to be able to handle my .38 spl, and maybe accompany me to the range once in a while. Thanks for the opinion.


1. Do you have kids?

2. Are you an NRA member? If so, point out stories/accounts from the "Armed Citizen" section towards the beginning of each month's issue.

3. Do the two of you also watch the news together. Act like any firearms-related news story is an arfcom post. Within two days, she'll be able to think critically about any news story and logically about firearms........... OK, so I'm bullshitting on this one, but you get the general idea, right?



P.S. Why'd you even make this one your wife in the first place?!?

P.P.S. Mostly kidding about the above, but didn't you know this beforehand? We could have been mroe help back then. Depending on *how long* she's been your wife, the condition may be terminal.....
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 8:42:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By LIVIDDEVIL:

Originally Posted By mywifehatesguns:
I have no advice to offer.


<<<-------------



^---------At least I know I'm not alone.

I do not want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to. I just love her more than anything and It would kill me if something ever happened to her that may have been prevented. Plus I like to spend time with her and I'd like to at least have her at the range with me, even if she won't shoot.

As for the ultimatum, as funny as I found that to be, I'm not so sure I would have any testicles left if I told my wife that. I'd probably look like this


So she doesn't like guns, and thinks its OK to kick people's asses for a few harsh words? Maybe it's better she's not a gun owner/enthusiast.



(just tryin' to make you feel better about your situation )
Link Posted: 3/17/2006 3:57:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By wise_jake:

1. Do you have kids?

Nope none that I know of anyway.

2. Are you an NRA member? If so, point out stories/accounts from the "Armed Citizen" section towards the beginning of each month's issue.

Yes, and good idea!

3. Do the two of you also watch the news together. Act like any firearms-related news story is an arfcom post. Within two days, she'll be able to think critically about any news story and logically about firearms........... OK, so I'm bullshitting on this one, but you get the general idea, right?

rofl hr


You ever see that bumper sticker, that reads: I GOT A GUN FOR MY WIFE........IT WAS A GOOD TRADE! .......................Got me thinking LOL
Link Posted: 3/18/2006 8:59:22 AM EDT
Hey, anything I can do to help!

I "lucked out". My father-in-law is a Viet Vet whose great (x4?) grandfather died in the Alamo. Some of him (thankfully) rubbed off on his daughter.

Still, when it comes to guns + kids in the residence, even she can get spooked if not shown things in the correct light. News stories and the Armed Citizen column go a long way to showing what *can* happen.

We both work for a university and a couple months ago there were three firearms-related stories on the front page of the campus newspaper (if it bleeds, it leads). Of course, in all three, the perp(s) used guns for ill. Very negative light.

I showed them to my wife (as she tends to just gloss over news stories), and explained how things *might* have been different had the citizen(s) been carrying. I made damn sure to tell her that we couldn't know *for sure* that things would have gone right, had they also been armed, but that we do know *for sure* that things DIDN'T go right when they WEREN'T armed......

I got her attention and I got some head nodding, so I think that MIGHT have gotten to her. All we can do is try.

There's an arfcommer (IIRC) who has the following as his sig line: "You can lead a horse to water, but you shouldn't have to stick your head up its ass and suck to make it drink" (or words to that effect). Very appropriate.

Keep up the good fight.
Link Posted: 3/29/2006 12:25:51 AM EDT
I was thinking... prior to joining the army, I was completely scared of guns. Of course in the army I had to learn how to shoot an M-16... and for a while it wasn't that bad...
THEN I was at a range, and my weapon malfunctioned. The range safety and I both checked it over, and were looking for the round which my partner said had ejected. Long story short, we didn't find the round, but the safety said the weapon was okay... and to go ahead and shoot... AND I did...
AND my weapon blew up in my face.
So, then I was scared to death...
but since I'm still in the army, I still had to shoot....
Amazingly after that, my scores improved.
I still wince a little before I shoot (and a lot of times I cant help closing my eyes right before the shot fires) but what happened was everyone I knew was supportive, and helped me get back into shooting, and helped me to get better with my weapon.
What got me to want to shoot at first was the army, and trying to compete with the guys. What got me to improve was the desire to overcome my fear. As for you and your wife, maybe if you just help your wife get comfortable with guns first...get her interested, then get her competitive.
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