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Posted: 2/21/2006 9:57:27 AM EDT
I snarfed on this one...

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines
from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the
window) turned to his mother an asked "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have
baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who
couldn't Think of an answer) told her son to go ask the stewardess. So the boy
dutifully asked the stewardess, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby
cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your
mother tell you to ask me that?" The little boy admitted that she did.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because
Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain
that to you."

Link Posted: 2/21/2006 10:07:14 AM EDT
Nice one!!

Can I hijack and add a joke here? Hope it's not a dupe!

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and duct tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 10:11:16 AM EDT
great jokes gals.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 10:38:47 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 10:47:29 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:17:15 PM EDT
That's friggin funny.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:47:04 PM EDT
heh
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 4:00:05 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 3:28:12 AM EDT
I'm going to hijack too here. I heard this while working in the gun store yesterday.

A woman goes into labor during a severe storm. THere is no electricity and she progressed so fast all the husband could do was call 911. A police officer arrived first and noticed the woman was very close to delivery. He handed his flashlight to the couples 3 year old daughter and asked her to hold this so he could help mommy deliver her brother. The little girl does as she is told and watches mommy give birth and the officer smack the baby to get him breathing. When all was said and done the officer asked the little girl what she thought of it all. She thought for a minute and said "He shouldn't of climbed up there, smack him again."
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 3:40:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/22/2006 3:40:45 AM EDT by PlaymoreMinds]

Originally Posted By MrsGungho:
I'm going to hijack too here. I heard this while working in the gun store yesterday.

A woman goes into labor during a severe storm. THere is no electricity and she progressed so fast all the husband could do was call 911. A police officer arrived first and noticed the woman was very close to delivery. He handed his flashlight to the couples 3 year old daughter and asked her to hold this so he could help mommy deliver her brother. The little girl does as she is told and watches mommy give birth and the officer smack the baby to get him breathing. When all was said and done the officer asked the little girl what she thought of it all. She thought for a minute and said "He shouldn't of climbed up there, smack him again."




<Robin Williams (I think)>
Men...They spend 9 months in the womb then they spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in....

Any y'all got good ones, keep 'em coming...nothing wrong with a JOTD thread...IOW: Can't hijack the willing.
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 3:44:19 AM EDT
Did you hear about the blondes who froze to death at the drive-in theater? They went to see "Closed for Winter".
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 7:31:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
Did you hear about the blondes who froze to death at the drive-in theater? They went to see "Closed for Winter".




Link Posted: 2/22/2006 9:13:33 AM EDT
Phhh, blonde jokes. Ok fine, since I'm one, I'll not only laugh at that, but here's another:


Why did God give blonds 2% more brains than horses?

Because he didn't want them pooping in the streets during parades.

Link Posted: 2/22/2006 12:26:17 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 1:13:44 PM EDT
Why is there no West Virginia CSI?

there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same!

Link Posted: 2/22/2006 1:21:28 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/22/2006 4:54:30 PM EDT
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch... you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids , and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Link Posted: 2/24/2006 8:48:32 PM EDT
A blind man is walking to his usual bar and makes a wrong turn, entering a women's-only bar. He makes his way to the bar without running into too many tables and sits down to order a beer. He says "Hey, bartender, wanna hear a blonde joke?"

A woman sitting next to him pipes up and says, "Sir, before you tell that joke, I want to warn you: I am blonde, and a professional wrester and can benchpress 300 pounds. The bartender is blonde and has a sawed-off shotgun behind the bar. There are two blond police officers here, and they have their Glocks with them. The bouncer at the door is also blonde and is very mean. Now are you sure you want to tell a blonde joke?"

The man didn't miss a beat, saying "Heck no! I don't want to explain it five times!"
Link Posted: 2/25/2006 10:08:00 AM EDT
Good ones...
Link Posted: 2/26/2006 7:29:47 PM EDT
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down
on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing
happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her
roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"The
first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her
eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.
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