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Posted: 1/31/2006 5:19:19 AM EDT
This pretty much sums it up.

The Guys' Rules


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view...


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.




1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," ! We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 5:44:31 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 5:55:02 AM EDT

Originally Posted By pattymcn:



+1

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 6:03:57 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 10:52:43 AM EDT
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 11:19:26 AM EDT
Thank you for the list-it explains the man that I am seeing.hinking.gif
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 11:21:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...



Exactly. Might I add....if we have enough shoes and clothes?

then YOU have enough Guns, Knives, and Holsters.

Link Posted: 1/31/2006 11:35:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/31/2006 11:36:13 AM EDT by PlaymoreMinds]

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...



Exactly. Might I add....if we have enough shoes and clothes?

then YOU have enough Guns, Knives, and Holsters.



Woman's wardrobe accessories are man's implements of death.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:02:38 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...



Exactly. Might I add....if we have enough shoes and clothes?

then YOU have enough Guns, Knives, and Holsters.



Woman's wardrobe accessories are man's implements of death.



Show me a pair of shoes or a dress the will hold its value or appreciate in value, then I will buy this illogical reasoning.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:12:24 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:14:21 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dvr9:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...



Exactly. Might I add....if we have enough shoes and clothes?

then YOU have enough Guns, Knives, and Holsters.



Woman's wardrobe accessories are man's implements of death.



Show me a pair of shoes or a dress the will hold its value or appreciate in value, then I will buy this illogical reasoning.




Funny as hell. You left out...................................

1. Don not answer "I don't know" when you know exactly what you want.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:16:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dvr9:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...



Exactly. Might I add....if we have enough shoes and clothes?

then YOU have enough Guns, Knives, and Holsters.



Woman's wardrobe accessories are man's implements of death.



Show me a pair of shoes or a dress the will hold its value or appreciate in value, then I will buy this illogical reasoning.



You appreciate what you want, and I'll appreciate what I want.

And don't even begin to tell me that the only reason for a gun purchase is because it holds it's value.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:20:01 PM EDT
I have a question along this line of thought......when my wife asks me, "How do I look?".....if I say "Fine.", or "You look good.", she rushes back to change through 50 more outfits......Is "Stunning", or "Spectacular" the ONLY acceptable response??....thanks ladies....SemperFi!
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:29:01 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
I have a question along this line of thought......when my wife asks me, "How do I look?".....if I say "Fine.", or "You look good.", she rushes back to change through 50 more outfits......Is "Stunning", or "Spectacular" the ONLY acceptable response??....thanks ladies....SemperFi!



How about "you look great".

don't make it over the top, or she'll doubt you're sincere.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:35:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
I have a question along this line of thought......when my wife asks me, "How do I look?".....if I say "Fine.", or "You look good.", she rushes back to change through 50 more outfits......Is "Stunning", or "Spectacular" the ONLY acceptable response??....thanks ladies....SemperFi!



How about "you look great".

don't make it over the top, or she'll doubt you're sincere.



And DON'T tell her that her shoes do NOT match her Sig.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:40:19 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
I have a question along this line of thought......when my wife asks me, "How do I look?".....if I say "Fine.", or "You look good.", she rushes back to change through 50 more outfits......Is "Stunning", or "Spectacular" the ONLY acceptable response??....thanks ladies....SemperFi!



How about "you look great".

don't make it over the top, or she'll doubt you're sincere.



And DON'T tell her that her shoes do NOT match her Sig.



what the heck do I know about shoes???....I have 3 pairs....dress, work, and tennis ......lol.....
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:15:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By buttercupp:
Great list...for a stereotypical woman...


No shit. Some of us actually have a clue.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:41:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
I have a question along this line of thought......when my wife asks me, "How do I look?".....if I say "Fine.", or "You look good.", she rushes back to change through 50 more outfits......Is "Stunning", or "Spectacular" the ONLY acceptable response??....thanks ladies....SemperFi!



How about "you look great".

don't make it over the top, or she'll doubt you're sincere.



How about, "I'd hit it!" ??? After all, it is a phrase all you fellas are familiar with and I can't see anyone getting upset by being told that... (grin)
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 2:48:46 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dvr9:
This pretty much sums it up.

The Guys' Rules


<snip>

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

<snip>




atomic +1
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 3:41:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/1/2006 3:49:31 AM EDT by fla556guy]
Loved the list. Pretty much on point on every one. And on the shoe thing. If I had a gun for every pair of shoes my wife has, there wouldn't be a single firearm that I didn't own. But I am afraid that the ratio of shoes to guns is about 20 to 1.

Here's a good one.

1. I can't hear you when you yell something at me from these locations:
-The shower
-The garage
-The back yard
-Any room that I am not currently occuping
-If you have something that is important for me to hear, please come to where I am and tell me. You get mad at me for yelling things at you, please remember that.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:35:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:53:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ErinGirl:


How about, "I'd hit it!" ??? After all, it is a phrase all you fellas are familiar with and I can't see anyone getting upset by being told that... (grin)


Ive tried this before...
Wraithtouch- Hurry up hun we gotta go
<15 minutes later>
Mrs Wraithtouch- Ok how do I look?
Wraithtouch- I'd hit it
Mrs Wraithtouch- Why do you have to be so crude all the %$@^ time? &#$@ ask a simple question.....
<15 minutes later in car>
Mrs Wraithtouch- ..... and another thing why didn't yo take the trash out last night? Ask you to do 1 thing and....
<30 minutes later in restaurant>
Mrs Waithtouch- &^$^#@)&*%@
ect... hehe true story (with some embellishment) I don't tell her "I'd hit it" anymore =p
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 5:54:28 AM EDT
Ya know, I've seen this list so many times, it's a wonder anyone still thinks it's funny.

I think a list of women's rules would be much funnier. Because everyone knows the woman rules the house anyway. Sure, sure, the man thinks he does. But we women just let you think that way so you'll feel better.

Here's just a couple that I came up with off the top of my head. Any other ladies want to contribute?

1. Don't ask us if we mind that you go out drinking with your buddies if you're planning on going anyway.

2. anything after 1AM is considered late.

3. Call to say you're going to be late BEFORE you're already late.

4. Shopping. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it Be.

5. Sometimes, it's really not about you. Really.

6. If it's our money, what difference does it make what we spend it on. Shoes are our friends. Go gun shopping and leave us alone.

7. Dinner. It doesn't magically appear in the house, cook itself, serve it to you, and clean itself up. If you're not going to help make any of the above happen, at least you can say thank you.

8. The toilet seat. We honestly don't care whether it's up or down. Just whatever way is best so that you don't spray all over it.

9. Anything we said and you didn't hear or blew over is not our fault. If you agreed to something and didn't understand the question we have every right to hold you to it.

10. Sweat pants are not acceptable out of the house attire. EVER.

Link Posted: 2/1/2006 6:13:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Ya know, I've seen this list so many times, it's a wonder anyone still thinks it's funny.

I think a list of women's rules would be much funnier. Because everyone knows the woman rules the house anyway. Sure, sure, the man thinks he does. But we women just let you think that way so you'll feel better.

Here's just a couple that I came up with off the top of my head. Any other ladies want to contribute?

1. Don't ask us if we mind that you go out drinking with your buddies if you're planning on going anyway.

2. anything after 1AM is considered late.

3. Call to say you're going to be late BEFORE you're already late.

4. Shopping. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it Be.

5. Sometimes, it's really not about you. Really.

6. If it's our money, what difference does it make what we spend it on. Shoes are our friends. Go gun shopping and leave us alone.

7. Dinner. It doesn't magically appear in the house, cook itself, serve it to you, and clean itself up. If you're not going to help make any of the above happen, at least you can say thank you.

8. The toilet seat. We honestly don't care whether it's up or down. Just whatever way is best so that you don't spray all over it.

9. Anything we said and you didn't hear or blew over is not our fault. If you agreed to something and didn't understand the question we have every right to hold you to it.

10. Sweat pants are not acceptable out of the house attire. EVER.




I love this woman...But I disagree with #10.

I'm sorry. But sometimes, it's sweat pants or nothing at all.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 6:14:19 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Ya know, I've seen this list so many times, it's a wonder anyone still thinks it's funny.

I think a list of women's rules would be much funnier. Because everyone knows the woman rules the house anyway. Sure, sure, the man thinks he does. But we women just let you think that way so you'll feel better.

Here's just a couple that I came up with off the top of my head. Any other ladies want to contribute?

1. Don't ask us if we mind that you go out drinking with your buddies if you're planning on going anyway.

2. anything after 1AM is considered late.

3. Call to say you're going to be late BEFORE you're already late.

4. Shopping. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it Be.

5. Sometimes, it's really not about you. Really.

6. If it's our money, what difference does it make what we spend it on. Shoes are our friends. Go gun shopping and leave us alone.

7. Dinner. It doesn't magically appear in the house, cook itself, serve it to you, and clean itself up. If you're not going to help make any of the above happen, at least you can say thank you.

8. The toilet seat. We honestly don't care whether it's up or down. Just whatever way is best so that you don't spray all over it.

9. Anything we said and you didn't hear or blew over is not our fault. If you agreed to something and didn't understand the question we have every right to hold you to it.

10. Sweat pants are not acceptable out of the house attire. EVER.




I love this woman...But I disagree with #10.

I'm sorry. But sometimes, it's sweat pants or nothing at all.



Nothing at all works!
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 6:25:45 AM EDT
There's a difference between "sweat pants" and "track pants or running pants".

Sweat pants are what we wore in gym class in 5th grade.
Noone looks good in them except little children.

Full grown men should never wear them outside the house. I mean that sincerely.
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 9:34:10 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/1/2006 2:04:31 PM EDT
I wasn't going to tell everyone it was you I was seeing.
Link Posted: 2/4/2006 6:42:30 AM EDT
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