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Posted: 1/26/2006 8:32:57 PM EDT
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 1:56:21 AM EDT
Lots of men realize a long term relationship is a wonderful thing. I certainly do.

It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 2:21:12 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 2:22:12 AM EDT by GunnyG]

Originally Posted By swingset:
........



+Eleventy billion .......
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 5:16:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 5:16:52 AM EDT by PlaymoreMinds]
Wow...talk about a false start.

Swingset: 5 yard penalty, repeat first down.

Remember whose house you're in and YES the refs always side with the home team.

<­BR>Gotta love football, no?
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 5:30:29 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 5:41:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By WMW:
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill



Having 2 committed, sharing relationships over a long period of the time at the same time would be better.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 3:25:27 PM EDT
It's all about finding the right person. If you want it and they don't --- just forget it. Your mate has to realize what they have...a jewel. If they don't see that, nothing you do makes a difference.
They have to see it for themselves.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 5:36:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
Lots of men realize a long term relationship is a wonderful thing. I certainly do.

It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.



Just had to start the ol' "CROCK" pot didn't you?

Two words come to mind........

Probably not the first ones that come to your mind though. That fence you sit on has got to hurt sometimes.

Holding back here.

Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:19:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
Lots of men realize a long term relationship is a wonderful thing. I certainly do.

It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.



Wow! You all are really being hard on swingset. He didn't really say anything wrong - he did say "some" and "not all women". What he said was true and I assume he is speaking from his own experiences.

And WMW, I wish more men could see that too.
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:24:15 PM EDT
Ya know what *I* wish more men would see????

The bowl.
No, not the Rose or Sugar or Super...THE bowl!
Aim center mass you standing freaks and all will be FINE in this life.

<­BR>

Sorry...just that it really NEEDED to be said!
Link Posted: 1/27/2006 7:43:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/27/2006 7:44:37 PM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 5:13:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/28/2006 5:16:46 AM EDT by swingset]

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Wow...talk about a false start.

Swingset: 5 yard penalty, repeat first down.

Remember whose house you're in and YES the refs always side with the home team.




I don't think I was being dishonest or even negative towards women. I said some men are quite happy in love....and that I was amongst them. Not an absolute, not a stereotype. Just saying that some of us are happy with relationships.

Then, I said, as a counterpoint (which is 100% true) that some women are just as incapable as men of being content in relationships, even good ones. Isn't that correct? Did I say all women, or most women, or even 50% of the women? Nope. I said some.

I always go to bat for the silent majority. There is this prevailing myth that men are afraid of commitment, and women are good at it. Well, frankly, that's bullshit. If it were that way, then divorce and relationship statistics would bear it out, yet they do not. Women are just as likely to pull out of relationships or show apprehension at the start of one as men. It's the "why's" that separate us (which is a whole nother topic).
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 5:33:21 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Wow...talk about a false start.

Swingset: 5 yard penalty, repeat first down.

Remember whose house you're in and YES the refs always side with the home team.




I don't think I was being dishonest or even negative towards women. I said some men are quite happy in love....and that I was amongst them. Not an absolute, not a stereotype. Just saying that some of us are happy with relationships.

Then, I said, as a counterpoint (which is 100% true) that some women are just as incapable as men of being content in relationships, even good ones. Isn't that correct? Did I say all women, or most women, or even 50% of the women? Nope. I said some.

I always go to bat for the silent majority. There is this prevailing myth that men are afraid of commitment, and women are good at it. Well, frankly, that's bullshit. If it were that way, then divorce and relationship statistics would bear it out, yet they do not. Women are just as likely to pull out of relationships or show apprehension at the start of one as men. It's the "why's" that separate us (which is a whole nother topic).



My point wa that the thread started out climbing up a happy slope and you started the ball rolling for an avalanche of crap.

If someone posts, "I LOVE my new Glock," do you immediately post, "Careful, SOME Glocks explode in your pants?"

Link Posted: 1/28/2006 6:08:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Ya know what *I* wish more men would see????

The bowl.
No, not the Rose or Sugar or Super...THE bowl!
Aim center mass you standing freaks and all will be FINE in this life.

Sorry...just that it really NEEDED to be said!



Get some of these- fun for all ages-www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Toilet-Targets-Boys-z.html

www.findgift.com/gift-ideas/pid-48298/

politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blosamaurinal.htm
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 6:17:25 AM EDT
Swingset has a point...."some" not "all" women. However, it should be stated for the record that MEN are also very capable of ruining a relationship by sewing chaos and discord in a relationship. These are things that everyone is guilty of doing not just one gender.
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 7:43:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ErinGirl:
Swingset has a point...."some" not "all" women. However, it should be stated for the record that MEN are also very capable of ruining a relationship by sewing chaos and discord in a relationship. These are things that everyone is guilty of doing not just one gender.




+1 So true, so true
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 9:32:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By WMW:
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill



Im guessing 16.
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 10:00:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/28/2006 10:01:54 AM EDT by Progunvoter]
ETA - I know nothing, nothing! I'm Out of here.
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 10:30:37 AM EDT

Originally Posted By swingset:
It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.



It all goes back to..


Do people really want, what they say?

I've seen far to many women (and men.. but, I date women ) talk about what they want in a guy.. but when that type of guy comes along, they don't date him. He is a "Friend", a "brother". But when a guy who doesn't fit their description of what they want comes along (generally a real asshole/jerk... wouldn't lift a finger for her) they chase after him and get laid with him faster than picking up a hooker in Las Vegas.

My theory is... it all comes down to self-esteem/self-respect. Plus, figuring out yourself, and who you are.

Link Posted: 1/28/2006 10:33:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/28/2006 11:20:09 AM EDT by ajm1911]
Being away (IRAQ) has really showed me that my life is my family and that my relationship with my wife is the only thing I really have after the world is gone.
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 11:16:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By swingset:
It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.



It all goes back to..


Do people really want, what they say?

I've seen far to many women (and men.. but, I date women ) talk about what they want in a guy.. but when that type of guy comes along, they don't date him. He is a "Friend", a "brother". But when a guy who doesn't fit their description of what they want comes along (generally a real asshole/jerk... wouldn't lift a finger for her) they chase after him and get laid with him faster than picking up a hooker in Las Vegas.

My theory is... it all comes down to self-esteem/self-respect. Plus, figuring out yourself, and who you are.




Solution: Start dating men.
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 11:21:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Solution: Start dating men.



I like womenz boobies too much....
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 1:21:22 PM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Solution: Start dating men.



I like womenz boobies too much....



I see you clarified the gender of the boobies...ruining my next zing.

Damn you. Damn your eyes!
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 8:06:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
Solution: Start dating men.



I like womenz boobies too much....



I see you clarified the gender of the boobies...ruining my next zing.

Damn you. Damn your eyes!



PMM -- quick and witty I would never have thought of that -- that is hysterical!
Link Posted: 1/28/2006 8:14:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
I see you clarified the gender of the boobies...ruining my next zing.

Damn you. Damn your eyes!



I was never raised a fool...

Stupid sometimes, but not a fool.
Link Posted: 1/29/2006 5:07:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:
I see you clarified the gender of the boobies...ruining my next zing.

Damn you. Damn your eyes!



I was never raised a fool...

Stupid sometimes, but not a fool.



I "see"
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 12:50:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WMW:
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill



Many of us do.
We're just trying to find a woman that realizes it as well.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:27:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 1:35:01 PM EDT by daisywench]

Originally Posted By VooDoo3dfx:

Originally Posted By swingset:
It's not like all women are good at contentment. Some are quite incapable of living with a stable, loving mate and seek to unravel their own happiness in favor of chaos and discord.



It all goes back to..


Do people really want, what they say?

I've seen far to many women (and men.. but, I date women ) talk about what they want in a guy.. but when that type of guy comes along, they don't date him. He is a "Friend", a "brother". But when a guy who doesn't fit their description of what they want comes along (generally a real asshole/jerk... wouldn't lift a finger for her) they chase after him and get laid with him faster than picking up a hooker in Las Vegas.

My theory is... it all comes down to self-esteem/self-respect. Plus, figuring out yourself, and who you are.




What I find is that alot of these "jerks" start out with all kinds of promise. They really do. They insist they'll treat you like a princess, and at the beginning of a relationship, it's wonderful. You're still in date mode, it's romantic, he buys you cards, emails you, calls you. Then a year or 2 into the relationship you're left holding the ball, while he's out with buddies drinking until all hours of the night to come home and call you his girlfriend.
But by then you're so in love with him that all you can do is accept the "I'm sorry's" and hope it gets better. Or that you can just deal with it.

Yeah, there's all these nice guys out there, but how long do they stay nice guys? Or is it just until they can be comfortable in the relationship and then just take advantage of the nice girls?

ETA...before someone comments on the "princess" line...those weren't my words, they were his. I don't have the "disney syndrome".
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 1:34:44 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:36:32 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:43:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WMW:
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill



+1.

Just hope my wife doesn't find out!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 3:52:45 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 4:02:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
What I find is that alot of these "jerks" start out with all kinds of promise. They really do. They insist they'll treat you like a princess, and at the beginning of a relationship, it's wonderful. You're still in date mode, it's romantic, he buys you cards, emails you, calls you. Then a year or 2 into the relationship you're left holding the ball, while he's out with buddies drinking until all hours of the night to come home and call you his girlfriend.
But by then you're so in love with him that all you can do is accept the "I'm sorry's" and hope it gets better. Or that you can just deal with it.

Yeah, there's all these nice guys out there, but how long do they stay nice guys? Or is it just until they can be comfortable in the relationship and then just take advantage of the nice girls?

ETA...before someone comments on the "princess" line...those weren't my words, they were his. I don't have the "disney syndrome".



It's natural for any partner to play up to your wants initially, and relax, but no man no matter who he is should become callous or neglectful.

I haven't given up on the little things, and I still respect my wife and pay attention to her needs. That's 15 years into our relationship. I'm sure I'm not the only one, either.

If you're constantly dating the same bad behaviors over and over again, and they're leaving you bitter or resentful, at some point you'll have to accept some responsibility for your attractions and impulses. If every time you fall in love you end up with the same bad experience, perhaps the next guy that "feels right" is the last person you should become involved with.

Not criticizing, just saying that you're sounding like all men fit your bad experiences.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:40:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:54:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
How are we supposed to know that the 'nice' guys will turn into jerks a year or so down the road? How are we not supposed to be bitter about that? You think you've found a great guy, then after the relationship evolves and he feels comfortable, he turns into a total dick. I don't think that's bad choosing on my part, I think that's lack of ethics and morality on his. <shrug>



The ladies do have a point.
I've watched some of my guy friends and how they act with new women. Totally different person.
I know him. I know he's an asshole, but she doesn't.
Kind of hard for her to tell the difference between the truely nice guys and the assholes masquerading as nice guy just to get laid.

Of course, they never listen when you try to warn them either, so....<shrug>

Solution?
I don't know. All I can say is that the overly confident guys are confident for a reason. They know they can play the game and get what they want. In my book, that should be a warning sign that he might just be a player, and not a truely nice guy. Proceed with caution.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 5:59:36 PM EDT
Experience is a great teacher. The ladies speak the truth here. I have nothing to add.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:03:48 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 6:04:10 PM EDT by SP1Grrl]
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:11:05 PM EDT
in my observations - men want bitches, and women want assholes, in general

don't believe me?

take a survey and you'll find that b&a is the mentality.

as noted in an earlier post, if a woman find a really great guy, he will become a friend, and if a guy finds a really great woman, she will be the shoulder he cries on when he is dumped and drunk.

again, just my observations from working about a decade as a bartender, and deejay - not as a mental health expert, just an observation
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:15:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2006 6:17:07 PM EDT by ErinGirl]
Ya know...I think it's because everyone craves "chemistry". When they meet a person and the sparks fly they believe the person can do no wrong.

However, I think there are some people (men and women alike) that are "chemistry monsters". They just leak chemistry from the pores and it's universally attractive. So, they're just big fat lures in the pond -- no real meat on the hook there.

It's sad when you wake up and find that out about a person.

You think he/she is just great (and so does everyone else and that person knows it!).
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:18:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:23:58 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:52:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:53:01 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 6:55:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By petagunner:

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Something I heard a long time ago: Women will become attracted to who they're in love with, and men will fall in love with who they're attracted to.

Take it for what it's worth.



That's an interesting twist on it, but true



Amen!
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:01:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:16:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
What I find is that alot of these "jerks" start out with all kinds of promise. They really do. They insist they'll treat you like a princess, and at the beginning of a relationship, it's wonderful. You're still in date mode, it's romantic, he buys you cards, emails you, calls you. Then a year or 2 into the relationship you're left holding the ball, while he's out with buddies drinking until all hours of the night to come home and call you his girlfriend.
But by then you're so in love with him that all you can do is accept the "I'm sorry's" and hope it gets better. Or that you can just deal with it.

Yeah, there's all these nice guys out there, but how long do they stay nice guys? Or is it just until they can be comfortable in the relationship and then just take advantage of the nice girls?

ETA...before someone comments on the "princess" line...those weren't my words, they were his. I don't have the "disney syndrome".



Well, thats a interesting perspective.

But, dont' you think its a two way street? If women would stop buying into all the attention the guy gives her, and look at who he truly is.. then, maybe it would turn out for the better?

I am not a romantic guy.. period. I will treat her with respect, I will give her stuff to be nice (like... if I knew she likes XXXX coffee, I'll buy that for her). However, if its been all give.. and no take. I move on.

Am I a "jerk" for it? Maybe. But, I want someone who gives and takes as much as I do (little less wouldn't be that bad.. I am not THAT picky..)

I tend to be straight forward, no horseshit.. and honest. If I tell you I will call you, I will call you. However... I tend to find what women say they want.. they're not attracted to.

Probably the same for men.
Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:23:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By swingset:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
What I find is that alot of these "jerks" start out with all kinds of promise. They really do. They insist they'll treat you like a princess, and at the beginning of a relationship, it's wonderful. You're still in date mode, it's romantic, he buys you cards, emails you, calls you. Then a year or 2 into the relationship you're left holding the ball, while he's out with buddies drinking until all hours of the night to come home and call you his girlfriend.
But by then you're so in love with him that all you can do is accept the "I'm sorry's" and hope it gets better. Or that you can just deal with it.

Yeah, there's all these nice guys out there, but how long do they stay nice guys? Or is it just until they can be comfortable in the relationship and then just take advantage of the nice girls?

ETA...before someone comments on the "princess" line...those weren't my words, they were his. I don't have the "disney syndrome".



It's natural for any partner to play up to your wants initially, and relax, but no man no matter who he is should become callous or neglectful.

I haven't given up on the little things, and I still respect my wife and pay attention to her needs. That's 15 years into our relationship. I'm sure I'm not the only one, either.

If you're constantly dating the same bad behaviors over and over again, and they're leaving you bitter or resentful, at some point you'll have to accept some responsibility for your attractions and impulses. If every time you fall in love you end up with the same bad experience, perhaps the next guy that "feels right" is the last person you should become involved with.

Not criticizing, just saying that you're sounding like all men fit your bad experiences.



How are we supposed to know that the 'nice' guys will turn into jerks a year or so down the road? How are we not supposed to be bitter about that? You think you've found a great guy, then after the relationship evolves and he feels comfortable, he turns into a total dick. I don't think that's bad choosing on my part, I think that's lack of ethics and morality on his. <shrug>



Gosh, how did I know this would strike a nerve?

It's not rocket science, ladies, it's really not. If you keep finding men who "blossom" into peckerheads, start choosing men that don't fit your mold. You are, no matter what you seem to think about it, choosing the same man over and over again if this pattern continues.

Women are good at 2 things, that turn relationships sour. 1, they're good at zoning in on a type of man, and gravitating towards him over and over again. This is hard-wiring, mixed with nuture, and some experience thrown in.....but alot of women seem to have difficulty breaking out of a pattern. The second thing they do is ignore tiny signs leading up to the "blossom", and because those signs are small and they are overly committed to making relationships conform to their ideas of how it should go, they ignore them.....or worse rationalize that the man will change for the better if they just "love him enough".

Break those habits, and I bet good cop/bad cop syndrome starts to go away.

You can attack the messenger, but these aren't my ideas exclusively.

Link Posted: 1/30/2006 7:31:56 PM EDT
Folks (guys and girls alike) just need to realize that the right person WILL DO the right thing. If it doesn't work out then that person was not meant for you. They will break your heart without conscience then turn around only to tell you if your heart is broken it's your own fault.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 8:34:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

[temp hijack] Cab driver told me that once in a lecture about how important an education is. "You can get what you want with beauty and large breasts, but when you get older and everything starts to sag, you'll need an education to fall back on." First cab ride ever. [/temp hijack]




My first cab ride had no such pearls of wisdom: cabbie told me and my drunk friends that if we yakked in his cab he'd beat the snot out of us.
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:24:20 PM EDT

Originally Posted By WMW:
That having a committed and caring relationship with a woman over a long period of time is one of the most satisfying things one can have in life, more than any celluloid woman can offer.

My GF made me realize that.

-Bill



I agree.....(but porn is still fun)......lol
Link Posted: 1/31/2006 12:57:30 PM EDT
I have been married for 10 years. Both sides have to work at it. Men and Women are both flawed. Find out what they are, and ask yourself if you can live with it. If you can't, don't get involved. People do not change. I personally beleive no one should get married until the age of 25. Until then men and women are inmature and need time to grow.
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