Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I love it when guys act like they are clueless on why a woman breaks up with them. Im sure a lot of times she tried to communicate on some level what her issues were, but either the man... 1) ignores her (he has better things to do - like hang with his buddies, etc) 2) makes her feel like she shouldn't be "feeling" those feelings (men don't like feelings - god forbid you express them) by ridiculing her or, the best one yet 3) shuts down completely and doesn't communicate at all (explain this one to me please) I don't know very many woman who wouldn't at least TRY to communicate their issues. I DO know a lot of men who ignore minor issues until they become major issues... Then they wonder what happened??? Why did she leave me??? When the question should be "Why did she stay for so long..." Everything happens for a reason.... +1  and a big AMEN +2 and a big HELL YEAH!  Sig Ziggy hit a major bull's eye with this post. Edited to add:  Oh yeah, that's when the guy will ask if they can talk about it...when the girl is fed up with trying to talk about it, has been trying to get him to talk about it for months or years, and gave up.  Then and only when she's ready to walk, will the guy say, "Can't we talk about it?"

And then it's HER fault for breaking up the relationship (what a horrible woman she is for breaking my heart) because HE took that one moment to try to fix everything, but she wouldn't listen to him.....

OY....I should write a book. I realize there are some crappy women and men out there who are just plain selfish and DO treat other people like crap even though they don't deserve it, but lets take some responsibility for ourselves here and realize that we choose that person in the first place. If you compromise on things that are important to you at any time during the relationship, it's your own fault.

If you purposely treat a woman like crap to maintain some sort of whacked out relationship with her, what kind of woman have you chosen? Someone you probably don't want to be with for long anyway. So what does that say about you then...exactly what Hoppy said - you reep what you sow!

You can't talk to men about relationship issues.  They'll claim we're wrong, that our feelings have no validation, and eventually turn it around so WE'RE the bad guy, and make US feel guilty for ruining a perfectly good evening.

It's just better staying quiet, and chewing on it on your own.  And we'll decide on our own if we can get over it, or if it gets put into a deep dark cavern way back in our brain, to be brought out at another time.  

Which is another complaint men have about women.

So we can't win no matter what we do.  So we stay quiet.  And then, when we can't stay quiet any longer, then comes the breakup.  And we'll say "let's be friends".  And they won't let it go at that, and they don't understand.  Because every time we tried to talk to them about our feelings, they shut us up, or shut us out.

So now they claim we blindsided them with the breakup.  When in actuality, they should have seen it coming from miles away.  They were just too busy and didn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening.

Quoted: You can't talk to men about relationship issues.  They'll claim we're wrong, that our feelings have no validation, and eventually turn it around so WE'RE the bad guy, and make US feel guilty for ruining a perfectly good evening. It's just better staying quiet, and chewing on it on your own.  And we'll decide on our own if we can get over it, or if it gets put into a deep dark cavern way back in our brain, to be brought out at another time.   Which is another complaint men have about women. So we can't win no matter what we do.  So we stay quiet.  And then, when we can't stay quiet any longer, then comes the breakup.  And we'll say "let's be friends".  And they won't let it go at that, and they don't understand.  Because every time we tried to talk to them about our feelings, they shut us up, or shut us out. So now they claim we blindsided them with the breakup.  When in actuality, they should have seen it coming from miles away.  They were just too busy and didn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening.

+

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You can't talk to men about relationship issues.  They'll claim we're wrong, that our feelings have no validation, and eventually turn it around so WE'RE the bad guy, and make US feel guilty for ruining a perfectly good evening. It's just better staying quiet, and chewing on it on your own.  And we'll decide on our own if we can get over it, or if it gets put into a deep dark cavern way back in our brain, to be brought out at another time.   Which is another complaint men have about women. So we can't win no matter what we do.  So we stay quiet.  And then, when we can't stay quiet any longer, then comes the breakup.  And we'll say "let's be friends".  And they won't let it go at that, and they don't understand.  Because every time we tried to talk to them about our feelings, they shut us up, or shut us out. So now they claim we blindsided them with the breakup.  When in actuality, they should have seen it coming from miles away.  They were just too busy and didn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening. + You're generalizing just like the men in this tread are.  For men are like snowflakes too and no two alike.  All snow flakes are cold but all it takes is just a very little heat to melt them.  When the snowflake falls, do you blame the ground for being too cold so they stick or do you blame the snowflake for falling in the first place?  You see just like it takes a cold ground and a snow flake to make a white Christmas, it take two to make a relationship. Tj

TJ, I never said it was a good way to be.  I learned about dealing with men from my mother, as I'm sure most women do.  See, men think that women learn about life and dealing with relationships from their father, and their relationship with their father.  While that may be true in some cases, most girls learn about how to deal with men by watching their mothers.  

My mother rarely fought with my dad.  I can recall maybe 2 or 3 instances when they actually came to words.  My dad is and was a difficult man, and I give my mom credit for sticking it out this long with him.  He's alot better now, and I have learned how to deal his crap right back to him.  But for a long time I think my mom was afraid of him.  Not because he ever hit her, NEVER.  I think she chose her battles that were important to her.  The rest, she let slide.

Which is what I do.  It's a fault of mine, I know this.  I never learned how to fight (well, in person) with my significant other.  Because my mother chose not to fight back, and I never learned the techniques.  Right now I'm in a relationship with a guy who can talk himself out of any situation.  He learned early on in life how to win a war of words, and I have no chance against him.  I don't think he starts out in an argument trying to turn my words against me, but that's how it turns out, because that's how HE learned to fight.

It's just the way it is.

And I know all men aren't like this.  Just like all women aren't pyschos.  I actually consider myself a VERY strong person.  i've been through stuff that many women couldn't go through.
But yet, for some reason, when it comes to my relationships, I just can't come out on top.

Quoted: You're generalizing just like the men in this tread are.  For men are like snowflakes too and no two alike.  All snow flakes are cold but all it takes is just a very little heat to melt them.  When the snowflake falls, do you blame the ground for being too cold so they stick or do you blame the snowflake for falling in the first place?  You see just like it takes a cold ground and a snow flake to make a white Christmas, it take two to make a relationship. Tj

I nominate TJ for Hallmark Card writer.  

If i treated my girlfriend like shit she would leave me.  

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I love it when guys act like they are clueless on why a woman breaks up with them. Im sure a lot of times she tried to communicate on some level what her issues were, but either the man... 1) ignores her (he has better things to do - like hang with his buddies, etc) 2) makes her feel like she shouldn't be "feeling" those feelings (men don't like feelings - god forbid you express them) by ridiculing her or, the best one yet 3) shuts down completely and doesn't communicate at all (explain this one to me please) I don't know very many woman who wouldn't at least TRY to communicate their issues. I DO know a lot of men who ignore minor issues until they become major issues... Then they wonder what happened??? Why did she leave me??? When the question should be "Why did she stay for so long..." Everything happens for a reason.... +1  and a big AMEN +2 and a big HELL YEAH!  Sig Ziggy hit a major bull's eye with this post. Edited to add:  Oh yeah, that's when the guy will ask if they can talk about it...when the girl is fed up with trying to talk about it, has been trying to get him to talk about it for months or years, and gave up.  Then and only when she's ready to walk, will the guy say, "Can't we talk about it?" And then it's HER fault for breaking up the relationship (what a horrible woman she is for breaking my heart) because HE took that one moment to try to fix everything, but she wouldn't listen to him.....

I'm guessing you've BTDT too.

Just a shot in the dark...

Quoted: Quoted: Boys are just girls that have been broken. evolved Quoted: Everything happens for a reason.... again Quoted: there ya go gents, Rule 2, if you have a penis you're always at fault, wrong, and liable.

Actually if you read my post, it states we all need accept responsibility for our own choices. Man or woman. Hopefully you weren't quoting me as stating otherwise...

Quoted: Quoted: You're generalizing just like the men in this tread are.  For men are like snowflakes too and no two alike.  All snow flakes are cold but all it takes is just a very little heat to melt them.  When the snowflake falls, do you blame the ground for being too cold so they stick or do you blame the snowflake for falling in the first place?  You see just like it takes a cold ground and a snow flake to make a white Christmas, it take two to make a relationship. Tj I nominate TJ for Hallmark Card writer.

Me too. His posts make me all warm and fuzzy

John Ross on women in general

More John Ross advice on Women

John Ross advice about Men

These are some of the best GENERAL thoughts about the sexes that I've ever read.

It was in my next post Mr. Tweak

(Up there on this page)

Wow, you know, I'd comment, but I'd rather just tag this thread instead.

I generally don't date anymore.  Right now, I'm way too busy to date, but I've dated some real doozies over time.  That might make a difference, too!  

Either way, reading this thread is kind of like watching one of those lovers' quarrels you see where they're trying to put the blame on someone.  I figure it's both people.  Failure to communicate.  Women tend to communicate in a "less than direct" manner a lot of times.  Guys fail to understand that.  Men tend to communicate directly and want it over and done with.  Women don't like that, either.

To get back on track, I don't think women want guys who are assholes to them.  I think they want guys who are a challenge to them.  More interesting.

Cheers,

kk7sm


ETA:  Where else can I be in a topic about free float forearms for AR15s and another about men and women in relationships at the same time.  Neat!

Quoted: Wow, you know, I'd comment, but I'd rather just tag this thread instead. I generally don't date anymore.  Right now, I'm way too busy to date, but I've dated some real doozies over time.  That might make a difference, too!   Either way, reading this thread is kind of like watching one of those lovers' quarrels you see where they're trying to put the blame on someone.  I figure it's both people.  Failure to communicate.  Women tend to communicate in a "less than direct" manner a lot of times.  Guys fail to understand that.  Men tend to communicate directly and want it over and done with.  Women don't like that, either. To get back on track, I don't think women want guys who are assholes to them.  I think they want guys who are a challenge to them.  More interesting. Cheers, kk7sm ETA:  Where else can I be in a topic about free float forearms for AR15s and another about men and women in relationships at the same time.  Neat!

+1  i need help with both

Quoted: Quoted: Wow, you know, I'd comment, but I'd rather just tag this thread instead. I generally don't date anymore.  Right now, I'm way too busy to date, but I've dated some real doozies over time.  That might make a difference, too!   Either way, reading this thread is kind of like watching one of those lovers' quarrels you see where they're trying to put the blame on someone.  I figure it's both people.  Failure to communicate.  Women tend to communicate in a "less than direct" manner a lot of times.  Guys fail to understand that.  Men tend to communicate directly and want it over and done with.  Women don't like that, either. To get back on track, I don't think women want guys who are assholes to them.  I think they want guys who are a challenge to them.  More interesting. Cheers, kk7sm ETA:  Where else can I be in a topic about free float forearms for AR15s and another about men and women in relationships at the same time.  Neat! +1  i need help with both

I have to agree with you TJ,probably why I've been married 22 years. I would say we are a team together. Like everyone we have had our good times and bad,but as long as both of us are willing to work at it you manage to get through it. It has worked for us,and we very seldom fight. We may not always agree,but we find common ground. I should also add there needs to be mutual respect for each other too.

I say...have kids...they keep you too busy and distract you so much that the precious alone time you and your partner have together, you'll spend.....





sleeping.

Hey, when you're asleep, ya can't fight.

Seriously though, I think the "myths" that are around for both sexes aren't so much myths, as they are inapplicable to the entire gender.