Wow, I think I may have used every one of those just this week!  

Quoted: THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Guilty.  

I say FINE....ALOT!

Ahhhh, womanese!

I got a ton of those... however, I probably shouldn't post them..

"Hmmmm..."


I hate that.

"HEY, WHERE IS THAT FRIEND OF YOURS?"

(I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to have sex with your friend.)

"I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME."

(You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)

"EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO MALE)

(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)

"EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE)

(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway, coming in here dressed like a hoochie? You're not all that much, Miss Thing, with your bleached hair and thick ankles, and don't for one minute think that you are. And just because something comes in your size doesn't mean you should wear it. Do you cut your own hair, without a mirror? And bitch, get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

Quoted: "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE) (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway, coming in here dressed like a hoochie? You're not all that much, Miss Thing, with your bleached hair and thick ankles, and don't for one minute think that you are. And just because something comes in your size doesn't mean you should wear it. Do you cut your own hair, without a mirror? And bitch, get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

Wow.  Hisssssssssssssss

"Really?"

You are such a liar.

"We need to talk."

You need to sit there, shut up and (at least pretend to) listen.

I want a divorce!
I want the kids, the dog, the house, and half of anything you make from here on out.

I need to print this off to use for a quick pocket reference guide

Quoted: I want a divorce! I want the kids, the dog, the house, and half of anything you make from here on out.

Why half? What makes you women think you deserve half of a man's income. I say go out and get a job!!!

Quoted: WORDS WOMEN USE ------------------------------------snip------------------------------------------- GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Go ahead is the phrase that my wife no longer uses. I have poor impulse control and am not attuned to subtleties and nuance. The last time that "Go Ahead" was spoken, there was an incident that included a spectacular bar tab, strippers, fire, and there may or may not have been a sports car involved.

"That's OK" was never a good one to use either, because I also have the attention span of a fifth grader on speed and often forget what exactly the "That's OK" was issued for, but figure I may as well take advantage. See above.

me- " Whaddya want for supper?"

her- " I don't care" (translation) you better read my mind and start cooking before I get bitchy

Pulchritudity is a word.  That is all.

What she says, "What are your plans for today?"

What she means, "I'm doing something without you, so you'd better make some"

.

I'm not looking for a relationship right now.

TRANSLATED: I don't want a relationship WITH YOU. Don't even BOTHER trying to go out with me since I am saying that a relationship with you and me is already not going to happen.

I don't think of you in 'that' way.

My goodness, are you ugly and a sexual dud!

I think of you as a brother!

-OR-

You remind me of my brother!

I would consider sex with you to be incest.

The kids were bad today.

Obviously, your genes are defective!

We were both wrong.

But you were more wrong!

This recipe didn't turn out how I expected.

I burned dinner.

Try and complain. I DARE you.

You don't listen to me!

You don't listen to me!

Honey, I HATE to interrupt...

As if you were doing anything more important.

Have you had time to...

Stop what you're doing, get up, and do it RIGHT NOW!

When you get a chance...

Do this immediately!

I hate to nag but...

I want you to get off the couch now!

Of course I don't mind paying for myself.

Cheap date!

Let's not rush things.

I have other prospects.

I'm not ready to settle down.

I sure as heck don't want to settle down with YOU!

I enjoy the single life!

I enjoy not being with YOU!

I need more space!

You're becoming undesirable and unattractive.

I'm focusing on my 'career'.

My training and studying for my career is extremely boring and tedious yet more exciting then you'll ever be.

Let's just give it some time.

You're not high on my rating list. You're good insurance policy if a better prospect doesn't show up.

I like you, but...

I don't like you at all.

You're not the type of guy I'd date, you're the type of guy I'd marry!

You're sexually a dud. You're not fun to be with. But you are... 'nice'.

Let's Just Be Friends

You'll never see me naked! I'm not attracted to you.

I don't want to ruin our friendship.

Please continue to remain my girly friend. You make an excellent emotional tampon!

Honesty is very important to me.

Only tell me what I want to hear.

I only like you as a friend.

I'm not attracted to you.

You're so manly.

Shave, bathe, discover a thing called S-O-A-P.

Let me check my schedule to see if I'm doing anything.

I have plans. WE do not.

We need...

I want...

Can you call me back? I need to...

I just need an excuse to get off the phone. I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I LIED BLATANTLY TO YOUR FACE. Oh, and have a nice day!

How about you give me YOUR number.

I'll add it to my trophy collection of guy's phone numbers - pathetic guys who want me but I don't want them!

I'm not upset...

I'm upset.

Do you love me?

I'm going to ask you for something expensive...

I love men who take charge...

Pay the bill, you chump!

I'm not that type of girl.

Keep trying.

Don't touch me there!

Touch me there, but I'll stop you a few times first.

Will you respect me in the morning?

You won't tell your friends, right?

I'm not looking for anyone.

I'm not looking for anyone LIKE YOU.

We need to talk...

I need to complain!

We have an off and on relationship.

I kept him around until someone BETTER shows up.

Let me think about it

No

Quoted: Quoted: Pulchritudity is a word.  That is all. Only for people that like to butcher the english language.

Now you just shush child...better to be seen than heard ya know.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Pulchritudity is a word.  That is all. Only for people that like to butcher the english language. Now you just shush child...better to be seen than heard ya know. 'Cuz you know you're wrong.

If I am wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

Wow, you ladies really break me up with your instant come backs.  Most of the dialogue given above can be used both ways.  And that is the wonderful difference betweent the sexes.  Most men are assholes and most women are bitches.
As I have mentioned to my sisters, wives and female friends, it is really difficult to find a good man.  Most of the men I know are jerks when it comes to dealing with women/ladies.  A vast majority of men put their needs first, especially in bed.  We just think with our smaller head controlling things.  We can't help it!!
Women, on the other hand, are lead by their hearts which really drive us nuts because we have a really hard time understanding where your concerns are coming from.
We need to listen but also emphasize with each other.
It is never easy.
Sickticket

Quoted: WORDS WOMEN USE FINE this is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine" GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing" THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome. WHATEVER ...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU! Odd, my husband uses some of these, too.

Quoted: Go ahead is the phrase that my wife no longer uses. I have poor impulse control and am not attuned to subtleties and nuance. The last time that "Go Ahead" was spoken, there was an incident that included a spectacular bar tab, strippers, fire, and there may or may not have been a sports car involved. "That's OK" was never a good one to use either, because I also have the attention span of a fifth grader on speed and often forget what exactly the "That's OK" was issued for, but figure I may as well take advantage. See above.

You can not post something like that without spilling the details.  

Quoted: Quoted: Go ahead is the phrase that my wife no longer uses. I have poor impulse control and am not attuned to subtleties and nuance. The last time that "Go Ahead" was spoken, there was an incident that included a spectacular bar tab, strippers, fire, and there may or may not have been a sports car involved. "That's OK" was never a good one to use either, because I also have the attention span of a fifth grader on speed and often forget what exactly the "That's OK" was issued for, but figure I may as well take advantage. See above. You can not post something like that without spilling the details.

The bar tab exceeded 500 dollars, strippers are self explanatory (with the addendum that strippers are waaayy more fun to hang out with when they are NOT working) I ended up on fire, and we'll leave it at that until the statute of limitations is up.

I need you too................