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Posted: 12/12/2005 2:26:13 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/12/2005 2:26:29 AM EDT by Bellona]
Here's another scenario:

You just started dating someone. You've been together for less than 2 months.

Last year, your SO spent NY's Eve on the other side of the country with a buddy. This year looks like a repeat because his buddy can get him a super cheap plane ticket again. This leaves you to make plans of your own.

How important to you is spending NY's Eve with your significant other?
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 2:37:16 AM EDT
To me it is very important, but then we have been together quite a few years.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 3:14:11 AM EDT
For a guy it's really tough to "party hardy" with SO hanging around!


Does he know you would like him to spend it with you? If so and he goes anyway, then I would say it was very important, for you!

If he doesn't know how you feel, then no biggie.


But I'm just a guy, what do I know?


Travis
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 3:17:36 AM EDT
Sorry, I'm of the not very important. Holidays etc,became just another day a long time ago since we were in the military. I worked pretty much all of them. Never has bothered me,and hubby and I just celebrate things differently.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 5:37:16 AM EDT
I wouldn't be so worried about at 2 months into a relationship, but all relationships are different. Perhaps next year things will be a little bit more serious and it will be obvious that it should be spent together if that's something that you feel should happen. There is no right or wrong answer. If it's something that's important to you, then of course it would be good to let him know at some point.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 7:16:13 AM EDT
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.

But I'm just a big mush when it comes to X-mas and New Years, so there ya go.

I have a client who was making plans to go to Cabo San Lucas (mexico) for 10 days with his "buddies", over Thanksgiving. I told him his wife was either crazy, or a saint. I would NEVER have gone for that.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 7:33:13 AM EDT
If the other was truly significant, it would be important. If the other wasn't significant then cheap ticket here I come.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 8:39:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 6:39:26 AM EDT by Bellona]

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.




Same here. A few years ago, a bf and I weren't together and it really sucked -- but we couldn't help that.

Personally, it always seems like I have to scramble for something to do on New Year's Eve -- and this year is no exception.

Link Posted: 12/12/2005 8:52:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bellona:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.




Same here. A few years ago, a bf and I weren't together and it really sucked -- but we couldn't help that.

Personally, it always seems like I have to scramble for something to do on New Year's Eve -- and this year is no exception.

If the ticket thing was in the works before the relationship was really exclusive, it's not such a big deal but it sure as hell is annoying.

I put too much stock in relationships and get little to no return on investment. I'm gonna start taking trips out of town without announcing them until right before I leave.




Has he gotten any better at kissing?
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 10:16:23 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/12/2005 10:17:08 AM EDT by Bellona]

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By Bellona:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.




Same here. A few years ago, a bf and I weren't together and it really sucked -- but we couldn't help that.

Personally, it always seems like I have to scramble for something to do on New Year's Eve -- and this year is no exception.

If the ticket thing was in the works before the relationship was really exclusive, it's not such a big deal but it sure as hell is annoying.

I put too much stock in relationships and get little to no return on investment. I'm gonna start taking trips out of town without announcing them until right before I leave.




Has he gotten any better at kissing?



LOL Okay, I might as well fess: I'm talking about a real person, but he doesn't have a kissing problem, that's for sure! That's just something that a friend and I were discussing one day.

Link Posted: 12/12/2005 10:31:06 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 11:30:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Bellona:

Originally Posted By daisywench:

Originally Posted By Bellona:

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.




Same here. A few years ago, a bf and I weren't together and it really sucked -- but we couldn't help that.

Personally, it always seems like I have to scramble for something to do on New Year's Eve -- and this year is no exception.

If the ticket thing was in the works before the relationship was really exclusive, it's not such a big deal but it sure as hell is annoying.

I put too much stock in relationships and get little to no return on investment. I'm gonna start taking trips out of town without announcing them until right before I leave.




Has he gotten any better at kissing?



LOL Okay, I might as well fess: I'm talking about a real person, but he doesn't have a kissing problem, that's for sure! That's just something that a friend and I were discussing one day.




OH. Well that's ok. I'm having a hard time getting my boyfriend to spend ANY time with me, but I don't think the holidays will be an issue. He and a partner just opened a gun/ammo shop, and I don't see him at all on the weekends, and during the week I'm working a 2nd job for extra X-mas money. Hopefully it will slow down after the holidays. But I'm a bit of an attention whore when it comes to my significant other. I need time with him. I didn't sign on in a relationship for dinner once in a while and sex late at night when we finally see each other.
That's just not my idea of a relationship. I know the store is new and it will take time to adjust to it. I'm trying, really trying to be supportive, but it's hard. And I miss him. But we love each other and we'll figure it out.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 11:35:02 AM EDT
If he goes to NY, you can come to FL and spend New Years with me.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 12:24:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daisywench:
Holidays are very important to me, and the thought of not spending one with my boyfriend would make me a very sad panda.

But I'm just a big mush when it comes to X-mas and New Years, so there ya go.

I have a client who was making plans to go to Cabo San Lucas (mexico) for 10 days with his "buddies", over Thanksgiving. I told him his wife was either crazy, or a saint. I would NEVER have gone for that.



+1
I'm very into holidays, and pretty sentimental about everthing. I think I'd be pretty crushed if he went off with his friends on a holiday, depending on how long we'd been together.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 12:49:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/16/2005 6:39:54 AM EDT by Bellona]
I know that even if I was offered a ticket to fly to see friends, I'd be considering interests at home, too. But I guess that friends you've known for a while exert more influence than someone new, no matter what the relationship designation. I'm learning to put friends over other relationships myself -- because they can always be counted on.

This person travels a little every month for work, too -- left today after being away this weekend, in fact. Like you, daisywench, some dinners and sex aren't all that I signed up for.
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 1:04:07 PM EDT
You sound like such a sweet girlie. Hell, if I was single I'd come spend new years with you!
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 1:07:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsWildweasel:
Sorry, I'm of the not very important. Holidays etc,became just another day a long time ago since we were in the military. I worked pretty much all of them. Never has bothered me,and hubby and I just celebrate things differently.



+1

Odd how insignificant holidays become after a few years in the military.
They really are, "just another day."
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 1:56:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/12/2005 2:29:26 PM EDT by NovaHokie9]

Originally Posted By Bellona:
I know that even if I was offered a ticket to fly to see friends, I'd be considering interests at home, too. But I guess that friends you've known for a while exert more influence than someone new, no matter what the relationship designation. I'm learning to put friends over other relationships myself -- because they can always be counted on.



Devil's Advocate time:
Of course friends you've known for while exert more influence than someone new, they absolutely should!

Look at it from a different perspective (ie- his friends'):
Hey Bellona's bf, what do you mean you aren't coming for fiesta 2006?! You've only been with that girl for what, two months maybe? We've known each other for years! You can't miss fiesta 2006 dude!! (does this guy fly across the country to see his friend very often? probably not.)

You are admittedly new to this guy's life and are expecting him to put you ahead of friends he's known for years (that's an assumption for Devil's Advocate purposes)? "Relationship designation" is irrelevant, you're still the new kid on the block. How serious can you be after two months? You'd have a case if you had been together longer. I'd tell him how you feel, however I would not make this into a big issue.

gf/bfs come and go, but you're right, friends can be counted on. At least you're coming around. I had to learn this lesson the hard way.

Link Posted: 12/12/2005 2:45:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NovaHokie9:

Originally Posted By Bellona:
I know that even if I was offered a ticket to fly to see friends, I'd be considering interests at home, too. But I guess that friends you've known for a while exert more influence than someone new, no matter what the relationship designation. I'm learning to put friends over other relationships myself -- because they can always be counted on.



Devil's Advocate time:
Of course friends you've known for while exert more influence than someone new, they absolutely should!

Look at it from a different perspective (ie- his friends'):
Hey Bellona's bf, what do you mean you aren't coming for fiesta 2006?! You've only been with that girl for what, two months maybe? We've known each other for years! You can't miss fiesta 2006 dude!! (does this guy fly across the country to see his friend very often? probably not.)

You are admittedly new to this guy's life and are expecting him to put you ahead of friends he's known for years (that's an assumption for Devil's Advocate purposes)? "Relationship designation" is irrelevant, you're still the new kid on the block. How serious can you be after two months? You'd have a case if you had been together longer. I'd tell him how you feel, however I would not make this into a big issue.

gf/bfs come and go, but you're right, friends can be counted on. At least you're coming around. I had to learn this lesson the hard way.




That's absolutely right. I am jealous, that's all. I don't expect him to put me first: that's not right, and it's not fair. I will mention it in passing, but that is all.

Oh, btw, I didn't get to write you back yet. I didn't go to Gettysburg because of the weather. I guess I have to save it for this summer!
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 4:01:44 PM EDT
I am in the same boat woman. I have been in a long distance "relationship" for over two years now and purposely purchased a ticket for New Years weekend to spend time with him instead of alone (again) on the weekend.

I truly believe that putting friends in front of a sig other is a sign of immaturity. Either you wait for him to grow out of it, or you find somebody that has grown out of puking his guts up with his beer buddies on party weekends...

Unfortunately us womenz get attached to men and I just don't think they tend to put as much effort into relationship maintenance. It just doesn't matter to them for some reason.

At 2 months I wouldn't really worry about it, but if this happens next year I would definately let him know that you would like the holidays to be special for the both of you - the sad part is - you will have invested a whole additional year with a guy who hasn't outgrown his buddy fetish yet if that's the case...and that gets old fast always coming second to everyone else...

Good luck chick. If I wasn't flying up there, I would have loved to fly in to party with ya - maybe next year we'll have to have girl's New Years in Vegas. Hang in there!!!
Link Posted: 12/12/2005 6:27:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
I am in the same boat woman. I have been in a long distance "relationship" for over two years now and purposely purchased a ticket for New Years weekend to spend time with him instead of alone (again) on the weekend.

I truly believe that putting friends in front of a sig other is a sign of immaturity. Either you wait for him to grow out of it, or you find somebody that has grown out of puking his guts up with his beer buddies on party weekends...

Unfortunately us womenz get attached to men and I just don't think they tend to put as much effort into relationship maintenance. It just doesn't matter to them for some reason.

At 2 months I wouldn't really worry about it, but if this happens next year I would definately let him know that you would like the holidays to be special for the both of you - the sad part is - you will have invested a whole additional year with a guy who hasn't outgrown his buddy fetish yet if that's the case...and that gets old fast always coming second to everyone else...

Good luck chick. If I wasn't flying up there, I would have loved to fly in to party with ya - maybe next year we'll have to have girl's New Years in Vegas. Hang in there!!!



From one Melissa to another.....rock on! I'm keeping things in perspective. Come what may, I've got friends here and other parties to go to.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 4:26:04 PM EDT
IF he REALY CARED he'd stay and WANT to spend NY with you,i know i wouldnt leave to go ho'in with the boys if i cared.

02 worth.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 5:18:54 PM EDT
new years has never been a big deal in either my family or circle of friends


id be much more bent about spending thanksgiving, christmas or easter apart
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 5:21:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 5:29:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/13/2005 5:30:15 PM EDT by Winston_Wolf]
... My SO is leaving early this Saturday morning for Italy to spend Christmas with her mother - been planned for longer than we've known each other. She returns New Years Eve.

... Pretty sure we're not gonna be doing any "public engagements" this year. We'll just be home alone, in the sack, by the fireplace with no external stimuli whatsoever.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 5:34:05 PM EDT
My girlfriend doesn't like the hookers and blow so I have to spend it with my friends.


All kidding aside, some holidays are meant for my friends (New Years, Labor Day, Memorial Day) I have been doing them with the guys way before her.

Maybe that's why I am not married and have no plans to be anytime soon.
Link Posted: 12/13/2005 6:05:53 PM EDT
I don't have anyone else to spend it with.........I moved last year to a place I had never been/no relatives except her's.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 2:11:18 PM EDT
Drache, they truly do become just another day. Hubby and I would make a point of what ever our day off together was we would celebrate then. Holidays,birthday,anniversary,etc. We didn't have kids then,so we made a point of working holidays so the ones that did have families could spend it with them. Nine times out of ten we'd pull double shifts. We only thought it was fair. Also at the time where we worked it was a live mission. 24/7.
Even when I worked retail I never had a problem working the holidays.
Link Posted: 12/15/2005 3:43:36 PM EDT
You only have one life.

There are only so many days in that life.

If you feel a few of them should be significant, there is nothing wrong with that.

There are some men who actually DO put their women first BEFORE their buddies who will eventually bail on them when they get a decent peice of ass.

That is all.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 6:19:41 AM EDT
Very important
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 12:43:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsWildweasel:
Drache, they truly do become just another day. Hubby and I would make a point of what ever our day off together was we would celebrate then. Holidays,birthday,anniversary,etc. We didn't have kids then,so we made a point of working holidays so the ones that did have families could spend it with them. Nine times out of ten we'd pull double shifts. We only thought it was fair. Also at the time where we worked it was a live mission. 24/7.
Even when I worked retail I never had a problem working the holidays.



I was the same way.
I was the only non-married Sgt in our platoon, so I generally took duty so the others could spend it with their wives/kids.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 3:17:31 PM EDT
Kudos, and I am sure they appreciated it. We married while in,but still felt that the ones with kids needed the time off. No regrets. I was low man on the totem pole,E-3 at the time.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 3:33:00 PM EDT
I'd like to spend New Years with her, but she and her husband have other plans.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 6:16:16 PM EDT
I spent ONE NY eve without the hubby....most MISERABLE night of my life, bar none!
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 6:20:15 PM EDT
I can't stay up past 10pm, so its a moot point over here. When mom turns the basement lights off, its bed time.
Link Posted: 12/16/2005 6:21:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JustinOK34:
I can't stay up past 10pm, so its a moot point over here. When mom turns the basement lights off, its bed time.





Man...I NEEDED that!
Link Posted: 12/17/2005 3:01:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SigZiggy:
I am in the same boat woman. I have been in a long distance "relationship" for over two years now and purposely purchased a ticket for New Years weekend to spend time with him instead of alone (again) on the weekend.

I truly believe that putting friends in front of a sig other is a sign of immaturity. Either you wait for him to grow out of it, or you find somebody that has grown out of puking his guts up with his beer buddies on party weekends...

Unfortunately us womenz get attached to men and I just don't think they tend to put as much effort into relationship maintenance. It just doesn't matter to them for some reason.

At 2 months I wouldn't really worry about it, but if this happens next year I would definately let him know that you would like the holidays to be special for the both of you - the sad part is - you will have invested a whole additional year with a guy who hasn't outgrown his buddy fetish yet if that's the case...and that gets old fast always coming second to everyone else...

Good luck chick. If I wasn't flying up there, I would have loved to fly in to party with ya - maybe next year we'll have to have girl's New Years in Vegas. Hang in there!!!




That is a fabulous idea. An arfcom women's long weekend... somewhere
Link Posted: 12/17/2005 7:09:54 PM EDT
Sounds like a plan. Everybody start saving for the

ARFCOM Womenz with Gunz and Gunz Convention 2006, Las Vegas NV


Link Posted: 12/18/2005 7:27:31 PM EDT
I didn't spend New Years Eve with my GF till last year....I have always spent it with my family.

I think I will be spending it with the GF this year...
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 1:48:25 AM EDT
Not very important to me anymore, but I would be peeved if the Hubby was partying across the nation with some buddy. Just sticks in my craw... leaving me home like an old shoe on a night where the ideal thing is to take your special someone out for a romantic evening and share well wishes for each other and our relationship for the coming year, complete with the beautiful kiss at midnight.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 2:17:49 AM EDT
I didn't spend the first 20 years with her because I always brought in the new years
with friends on our anual "New Years Campout"

That streak came to an end in "2000"


GM
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 7:32:38 PM EDT
It's never too late to start new traditions
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 7:37:08 PM EDT
To me it's extremely important.

I can't get SigZiggy to come on up from Texas though.......
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 7:41:27 PM EDT
... I'm horribly heartsick by the separation from my honey now - and it's only been a day.

... As mentioned earlier, she'll be home New Year's Eve, but it's no damn fun waiting

... Did talk to her today - she arrived OK, but she misses me as much as I do her.

... It's true, it ain't the holiday, it's the love & emotion you share with your SO that should make your decision in this poll.
Link Posted: 12/19/2005 11:44:58 PM EDT
Spending time with my SO is important to me, the date isn't.
Link Posted: 12/21/2005 4:30:10 PM EDT
Well, I can't believe that anyone would leave someone like you alone for NY's, unless it was for
either something that could not be avoided or a pre planned trip. If it was one or the other, I can understand, but he better make it up to you when he returns...

With that said, its not really the date, its spending time with your SO.

Weazer
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