I gave my girlfriend a muffler for Christmas last year. Every time she yells at me, it backfires.
A handgun won't complain about sleeping on the wet spot.
When a handgun gets loaded, it doesn't turn into a bitch.
You can stuff a handgun into a drawer and it won't complain.
A handgun doesn't get mad at you for farting, no matter when, where, or what company you're with.
A handgun can be totally ignored until you need it.
A handgun doesn't mind getting its orifice cleaned out with a stainless steel brush.
A handgun never files for divorce.
A handgun may get stolen, but it'll never run off with somebody else.
It's legal to have a whole closet full of handguns.
A well-kept 80 year old handgun will be virtually identical to a new one, and still fun to shoot.
A handgun won't wreck your car for you.
CJ