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Posted: 3/3/2002 10:08:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/3/2002 10:18:32 PM EDT by WSmac]
It's the least I can do for HomeLand Security! My wife flew out of our rinky-dink airport (commuter aircraft only - two airlines) last Friday. There, keeping us all safe were two National Guard soldiers from our local Engineering Company. I really wish those guys could have been at home instead, they looked REALLY BORED! As my wife waited in line for the six people ahead to clear the improved Security, I noticed one of the passengers had his hiking boots in his hands and he was standing there in his stocking feet. I noticed that folks were taking off their shoes and putting them through the x-ray machine! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HARD IT WAS NOT BUSTING A GUT!? Is this country growing more moronic each passing year? I mentioned to my wife how stupid that seemed and the lady ahead said, "Oh, I want them to do whatever it takes to keep us safe!", or some stupid crap like that. I had already gone through my pockets three times before we left the car to make sure the knife, fingernail clippers, etc. were not on me, AND I WASN'T EVEN FLYING! Now here we were watching people run their clothing through x-ray! SO, next time I fly, I'll show up in a pair of boxers (gotta remember to not wear any AR15.com "series" underwear) and nothing else so everyone will know how "Safe" I am! OH MY GOSH! I just realized that female terrorists could be travelling with C-4 Breast Implants!!!! I should contact our HomelandSecurity CZAR and offer to do manual searches on all possible suspect female passengers. WE should ALL offer to do this as a team. Just like the Hell's Angels volunteered for duty in Vietnam! BEWARE, this may involve the risk of losing your hands if you inadvertently trigger an unwanted reaction through incorrect digital manipulation! Who's up for joining the "[red]T[/red]actical [red]I[/red]mplant [red]T[/red]arget [red]S[/red]quad"?
Link Posted: 3/3/2002 10:17:28 PM EDT
Some day Americans may demand real security in all of their lives... I hope I dont have to ever witness this. When the jbt's are in control we will revolt.... And I don't want to be alive then. There will be a great war, and war does not make one great. It will be horrible and it will all be about security. Some will want to be secure and some like me will want to be free....pat
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 12:13:42 AM EDT
I'm still thinking about how firm a C4 breast implant might be.
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 12:34:45 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 12:35:04 AM EDT
They would probably look more like tube sock titties though.
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 12:38:12 AM EDT
Oh Osprey... don't be skiddish. I was about to make a good reply!
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 1:03:58 AM EDT
seems to mr. homeland needs to address the other places women terrorists could hide only i do not volunteer for this job. an 80yr old grandma damn !!!!!!!!!!!! nice place for a stick up hehehe:D peace!
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 5:40:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 5:48:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 6:31:08 AM EDT
I was wondering how long it will be until you have to fly naked. You would get to the terminal, take off your cloths. Put them in a box to be loaded on the plane. After walking through the metal detector you would be handed a robe.
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 5:13:09 PM EDT
How about this? Every passenger gets a hood, eye covers, earmuffs and a gag. After being shackled to your seat buddies, you are escorted to the airplane and so begins your travel holiday. It seemed to work well for a bunch of guys heading to a plush resort in Cuba recently! [;D]
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 5:43:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By WSmac: How about this? Every passenger gets a hood, eye covers, earmuffs and a gag. After being shackled to your seat buddies, you are escorted to the airplane and so begins your travel holiday. It seemed to work well for a bunch of guys heading to a plush resort in Cuba recently! [;D]
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Don't forget the Valium. The Valium is very important for the experience.
Link Posted: 3/4/2002 11:42:25 PM EDT
the whole shoe thing started when that idiot tried to light his shoes on fire, and some other guys shoes alledgedly had explosive residue on them. i flew out of LAX to vegas the day after the guy tried to light his shoes on fire, they made everyone with any type of boots remove them and put them through the scanner. my boots always set off the metal detectors, so i got to avoid the strip search and electro wand up my ass. i got my boots out of the machine and didnt put them on, just walked through the airport in my white socks until i got to my gate. in vegas on the way back they didnt do the shoe thing. it didnt bother me, i just laughed it off.
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