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Posted: 2/14/2002 7:02:37 PM EDT
I have noticed a couple toilet related threads recently, and had my own question/problem. Can you get the damn toilet to flush after you take a crap? I'll be damned if I don't use the plunger 90%+ of the time. Am I messed up? You get bonus points if you have ever broken a hotel toilet. Double extra bonus points if it was so bad they had to put you in a different room.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:05:44 PM EDT
You must have a half-a-roll hole.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:06:55 PM EDT
" Do you have good plumbing? Its just that I've been eating a lot of cheese lately."
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:10:54 PM EDT
Right now it is worse than usual because I am living in an apartment and the damn toilet is not only small but I think it has low flushing power. (Damn low-flows) At our old house it was probably 50%
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:15:10 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:19:59 PM EDT
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1: Al Bundy
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Dammit!! Beaten to the punch yet again!!
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:20:29 PM EDT
anybody know where I can get one of those high-powered public restroom toilets? You know, the ones with the 65-PSI nozzle facing down the hole that just blasts the crap down the tubes? I think that's the answer to the problem. (as a side note, did anybody else besides me ever take one of those big rubber balls we used to play with in grade school, and jam it in those hi-power toilets, then flush? If you've never done this, try it. The ball gets launched out of the toilet and bounces off the ceiling. I spent most of my fourth grade year doing this during recess)
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:23:20 PM EDT
My house is new with the Nazi mandated water saver toilets. They don't flush worth a damn. Finally figured out the trick. When you flush - HOLD THE LEVER DOWN UNTIL IT FLUSHES. If you continue holding the lever down water continues to flow into the bowl, this helps greatly. They also make replacement flapper valves with a delayed return feature that does automatically what I just described.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:36:58 PM EDT
If you have a multi level house try to use the toilet on the upper floor. You will get greater suction as the water flows down the pipes to the lower level. I guess if your not getting enough flow you could take a pitcher of water with you to the can and dump it down the hatch as you flush. This might give you the added flow you've been looking for. Or better yet, install a water pressure riser in the path of the cans water flow. Then hold down the handle when flushing like ECS suggested.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:42:01 PM EDT
ranger, time to eat your veggies!!
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:43:12 PM EDT
I am in a basement. Just took my daily crap, much plunging required. I tell ya what, sometimes I just think that an outhouse would be a great way to go....
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:43:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Prairie-Ranger: You get bonus points if you have ever broken a hotel toilet.
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Stokes!! - We were in our rooms in Vegas less than 5 min. and he was calling maintenance.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 7:57:35 PM EDT
Originally Posted By GovtThug: You must have a half-a-roll hole.
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LMAO
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:06:12 PM EDT
Holy Shit, no pun intended, I can't stop laughing. Thanks guys I needed that. Benjamin
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:16:16 PM EDT
You don't need a plunger, you need a jack hammer!
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:23:33 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/14/2002 8:27:24 PM EDT by Boomholzer]
The toilet facilties at my workplace use a accumulator hooked to the industrial water utilities. I have made it my goal to clog one of these damn things and I tell you it cant be done. I have plopped down stinkys of grandidlio-logrithmic proportions and montumentious monsterific size with a one-foot ultra-wipetronic layer of super-charmen guarenteed shiney-ass cleanliness toilet tissue. One flush and it is ALL gone.....gone!
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:31:37 PM EDT
You just poop too much.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:35:41 PM EDT
The Shiters Full
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:44:49 PM EDT
As a LEO (Lavatory Expulsion Official), I was able to order a pre-ban config toilet directly from the factory on letterhead. It has a high-capacity tank, retractable seat cover and a splash-suppressor. Unfortunately, if I sell my home with it installed, I can only sell it to another LEO. [:D]
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 8:46:33 PM EDT
Next time you're in Canada buy a couple of non-restricted flow 2+ gallon toilets. Viola, you'll be sitting pretty on a one flush throne again.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:35:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:40:00 PM EDT
take a laxative (at someone else's house)... you should be fine after that
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:43:00 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:43:12 PM EDT
try using less paper, if you have to through it in the trash can. If it still gets clogged without using paper, you have a serious colosal colon.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:47:08 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Nimrod1193: As a LEO (Lavatory Expulsion Official), I was able to order a pre-ban config toilet directly from the factory on letterhead. It has a high-capacity tank, retractable seat cover and a splash-suppressor. Unfortunately, if I sell my home with it installed, I can only sell it to another LEO. [:D]
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LOL!!! You just made my night. That's hilarious!
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 9:50:58 PM EDT
Originally Posted By schv: try using less paper, if you have to through it in the trash can. If it still gets clogged without using paper, you have a serious colosal colon.
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Yes, an old theory on the art of crapping. Helps me very little. From the stories I have heard from my dad on the subject, I think I come from a long line of Big Shitters.
Link Posted: 2/14/2002 10:09:51 PM EDT
As Al Bundy would say, "BA-WHOOOOOSH"
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 11:38:14 AM EDT
Um, yes, you have a problem, and tyhis is coming from someone who clogged up a hotel toilet-when I was 8! Perhaps you don't need a new toilet, but a new diet. Just eat a lot of roughage. I eat a half pound of raw broccoli every day, and my dumps come out smooth, even, and FLUSHABLE! Just a suggestion here.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 11:41:15 AM EDT
Sounds like a case of pre ban and post ban toilets. Go find a connection to the toilet underground and get a black market toilet that, heaven forbid, actually flushes...
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 12:17:25 PM EDT
sounds like you need "the Thunder Bucket Buddy" YES that's right, now you too can flush with confidence knowing that it'll all go down without a hitch.and while you're on the pot, jus'flush alot.lol
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 12:52:55 PM EDT
If my wife reads this I am a DEAD man, oh well here goes: My sister-in-law can plug a toilet better than any guy I know. When she was a baby her crap was so large her mother took her to the doctor, he said she was fine. To this day when she goes on a bombing mission she has to bust up the offending log with a machete just to get it to go down!! I've seen one of her trophys and it looked like a freaking python. I don't know how this girl does it, she's skinny as a rail, maybe her ass unghinges or something. idaho-ar15
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 1:09:02 PM EDT
Right now, there are many people in my office wondering, "What the hell is DriftPunch laughing so hard at!"
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 1:10:31 PM EDT
Originally Posted By idaho-ar15: If my wife reads this I am a DEAD man, oh well here goes: My sister-in-law can plug a toilet better than any guy I know. When she was a baby her crap was so large her mother took her to the doctor, he said she was fine. To this day when she goes on a bombing mission she has to bust up the offending log with a machete just to get it to go down!! I've seen one of her trophys and it looked like a freaking python. I don't know how this girl does it, she's skinny as a rail, maybe her ass unghinges or something. idaho-ar15
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Thank-You, I havent had a laugh like that in a long time [:)]
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:01:00 PM EDT
Hi All! Well now kiddies, how bout a story from Plumberland? Once upon a time.... The foreman and I were called to go find out why the toilets in a brand new building we did were plugging. 3.5 gallon tank flush toilets of classic pre-ban style and function with a fully glazed 2" trap, gar-on-teed to take what you give it. Well, this seemed to only happen in the ladies rooms and as the VP of the company was uttering dire threats to us about our toilets, we warned him to tell maintenance staff to NOT TOUCH THE TOILET THAT WAS PLUGGED NOR TO FLUSH IT, we had to see what/how the thrones were being defeated in their intended roles. LO AND BEHOLD gentle readers... upon opening the stall door... what did offend mine eyes? But the MOTHER OF ALL TURDS! It defied logic... it almost broke laws of space and time.. it appeared a mastadon had taken it upon himself to rip its leg off and shove itself into the toilet. UGGGGGGH>..... Would it flush..??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not in this lifetime my lad. A mimimum of 3" in diameter and a foot in length. It looked as though someone welded a mass of milk duds together... no joke... unreal. And here this snotty VP was saying the toilets were defective blah blah blah.... We dragged him in and showed it to him.... he ceased his protests soon after. The epilogue to this tale is, maintenance boy said he knows who did it and it wasnt some fat chick... but a lil' skinny thing. We had to remove the offending turd with implements of destruction after pulling it off the floor. I am still scarred emotionally from the experience. I have NO IDEA how it was passed from a human, much less a small female. The screams from passsing it would have been heard for miles.... the moral to the story is.... take some fiber in your daily diet people... dont let this happen to you! Dram out
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:09:30 PM EDT
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:19:00 PM EDT
I just hate those "candy stripes" that appear after the flush. We have a contest up in Canada every year for how many flushes it takes to wash off the stripes.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:26:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/15/2002 2:28:53 PM EDT by KN]
I have heard rumors of a Pre-ban toilet black market but I have yet to find anyone that can hook me up. I will let ya all know if I get any inside info.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:28:59 PM EDT
I can eat bread and water and have problems!!! Most of my frinds wont let me even use there bathrooms.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:44:25 PM EDT
I know we're friends and all here, but some of you are sharing ENTIRELY too much.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 2:55:25 PM EDT
STOP EATING SO MANY DAMN MRE's- THAT SHOULD HELP
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 3:15:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Dramborleg: Hi All! Well now kiddies, how bout a story from Plumberland? Once upon a time.... The foreman and I were called to go find out why the toilets in a brand new building we did were plugging. 3.5 gallon tank flush toilets of classic pre-ban style and function with a fully glazed 2" trap, gar-on-teed to take what you give it. Well, this seemed to only happen in the ladies rooms and as the VP of the company was uttering dire threats to us about our toilets, we warned him to tell maintenance staff to NOT TOUCH THE TOILET THAT WAS PLUGGED NOR TO FLUSH IT, we had to see what/how the thrones were being defeated in their intended roles. LO AND BEHOLD gentle readers... upon opening the stall door... what did offend mine eyes? But the MOTHER OF ALL TURDS! It defied logic... it almost broke laws of space and time.. it appeared a mastadon had taken it upon himself to rip its leg off and shove itself into the toilet. UGGGGGGH>..... Would it flush..??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not in this lifetime my lad. A mimimum of 3" in diameter and a foot in length. It looked as though someone welded a mass of milk duds together... no joke... unreal. And here this snotty VP was saying the toilets were defective blah blah blah.... We dragged him in and showed it to him.... he ceased his protests soon after. The epilogue to this tale is, maintenance boy said he knows who did it and it wasnt some fat chick... but a lil' skinny thing. We had to remove the offending turd with implements of destruction after pulling it off the floor. I am still scarred emotionally from the experience. I have NO IDEA how it was passed from a human, much less a small female. The screams from passsing it would have been heard for miles.... the moral to the story is.... take some fiber in your daily diet people... dont let this happen to you! Dram out
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Dramborleg, what town was this in?? I need to find out if my sister-in-law has been in that area!!! Seriously I think she needs to install a garbage disposal in the toilet. idaho-ar15
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 3:16:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By schapman43: Thank-You, I havent had a laugh like that in a long time [:)]
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Glad I can help, BTW if the wife reads this I'm coming to your house to live. idaho-ar15
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