TOP EIGHT IDIOTS OF 2001

One

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful
and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention
that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the
ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency
room
right away.

Here's your sign lady.
Wear it with pride.

Two

Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign guys.
Don't get it wet, the paint might run.

Three

A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown bank wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
your muny in this bag."
to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he
handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign.
He probably couldn't read it anyway.