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Posted: 2/9/2002 8:43:46 AM EDT
To ensure we never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail and 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips. Pause a moment and take the following test. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by: (a) Norwegians from Ballard; (b) Elvis; (c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women; or (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by: (a) A pizza delivery boy; (b) Crazed feminists screeching that being able to throw a grenade beyond its own burst radius was an unfair and sexist requirement in basic training; ( c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day; (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by: (a) Luca Brazzi, for not being given a part in "Godfather 2;" (b) The Tooth Fairy; ( c) Butch and Sundance who had a few sticks of dynamite left over from the train thing; (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by: (a) Mr. Rogers; (b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wee Willie's women problems; ( c) the WWF, to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless;" (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed by: (a) Bugs Bunny, (b) the Supreme Court of Florida trying to outdo their attempted hijacking of the 2000 Presidential election; ( c) Mr. Bean; or (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40. How'd you do? Did you detect a pattern that would indicate we'd better take a close look at a certain type of individual who might be boarding an airplane with something on his mind other than "What's the in-flight movie?" You think so? Horrors! You're nothing more than a closet racist who could never be hired as an official federal airport screener. You probably molest goats too - but that's another column. So, as it now stands, we have the Transportation Security Administration (letterhead: "No way we're flying.") trying to improve the professionalism of airport screeners by lowering standards and forbidding the use of common sense in screening people. Makes sense, right? Right. Pardon me while I go bang my head against the wall. Maybe that'll help me understand
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 9:20:15 AM EDT
I thought Bugs had help from Daffy, Elmer, Marvin the Martian & Tweety! Cool test!
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 9:24:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Grin_N_Barrett: I thought Bugs had help from Daffy, Elmer, Marvin the Martian & Tweety! Cool test!
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Bugs Bunny was USMC in "Super Rabbit", and Yosemite saluted him............ Bugs may crack wise but he knows where he comes from. PS he also save the Earth from Marvin the Martian..........something about it blocked Marvin's view.
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 10:38:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/9/2002 10:59:38 AM EDT by 71-Hour_Achmed]
Hey thee12nv, you forgot about the required pat-downs and strip searches of hot babes with big tits. Can't nevva tell what some hottie might hide between her hooters. Edited to add the appropriate pic (with thanks to cnatra[:D]): [img]http://www.ar15.com/images/postPics/cnatra.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 10:43:46 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 10:48:24 AM EDT
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 1:34:06 PM EDT
[B]Forgot a couple...[/B] A few years ago the Federal Building in Oklahom City was destroyed by: (a)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (b)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (c)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (d)White male former member of U.S. Military A few years ago a bomb was set off at the U.S. Olympics in Atlanta, the prime suspect is: (a)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (b)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (c)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (d)A white middle aged male There have been repeated bombings of abortion clinics around the country, the usual suspects are: (a)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (b)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (c)Muslim male extremists between 17 and 40 (d)[I][B]CHRISTIAN [/I][/B] "pro-life" males I know it doesn't sound like it, but I'm all for profiling. Let's just try to be fair in our generalizations. I guess we should search all muslim men, and all white men.
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 6:23:18 PM EDT
You're way off there texpal. Of your three examples two a suspects. A little lame I would say. And what the hell does your poor example have to do with airplane terrorism? It doesn't appear you're for rational and logical profiling at all now does it? Gotta call BS on your post pal.
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 7:03:36 PM EDT
thee12nv, the original text of your post comes from the National Lampoon.
Link Posted: 2/9/2002 9:33:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By 10mmFan: snip... And what the hell does your poor example have to do with airplane terrorism?
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Do you know how to read? In the original post three out of five examples have nothing to do with airplanes.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 8:15:12 PM EDT
Yeah tex I read. Do you comprehend?
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 9:24:41 PM EDT
Hold it, there, TEX I just want to get this straight. Timmy didn't like the govt., so he blows up a federal building. Pro-life people oppose abortion, and blow up clinics. Someone (Nobody Knows WHO!) set off a bomb at the Olympics. So who are these supposed white males who have it in for the Airlines? You owe us an answer so we can be on the lookout for them. Some of us are in the aviation business, and our lives depend on your infinite knowledge.
Link Posted: 2/15/2002 10:05:21 PM EDT
snip So who are these supposed white males who have it in for the Airlines? snip
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Let's look at it another way... The original example came up with only two examples of Arab terrorist attacks on airlines. Gun-rights proponents will argue that Doctors kill more people every day than guns do... by that rational, airline mechanics and manufactures have crashed more planes than Arab terrorists. I also wrote in my first response that I am very much FOR profiling, so I don't think I owe anybody any explanation. I would just like to keep our uses of statistics and anecdotal evidence honest, they way [I]most [/] people here would like the anti-gunners to do.
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