My dumbass college professor wants me to do a 10 page paper on vienna sausage.  I can't even find that much info on the web for it and I was wondering if any of you guys know where I can get a shit load of info.  It is due Friday. Thanks

You must have pissed him off bad. [;)]

Invented in Vienna.

They have a sausage-like flavor.

Sorry,couldn't resist.

What kind of dumb ass writing assignment is THAT? Sorry but I know nothing about the Vienna sausage. Why don't you start off with the 'nutrition label info', then transition to the ill effects of the fat, etc, then slowly work into a rant about why people eat them in the first place, then on page 10 you can close with what stupid bunch of college professors there are at your college.

What in the hell are you studying kid?

The class is a senior level marketing class focusing on consumer behavior.  The assignment was made two weeks ago; however, I, nor the rest of the class was assigned the specific food that we were to report on.  The assignment is entitled "Foods we love to hate" we all had to have the food approved before we could start on the assignment and he did not approve it until today.  Last semester, my wife was enrolled in his class but this assignment was extra credit, not required.  This professor is stupid to assign this as it has nothing to do with consumer behavior or marketing.  I do need some help on this one and I will appreciate it very much.

Post this moron's e-mail here and lets have some fun[;D]

I don't know what scares me more. I teacher who assigns a paper topic like this(unless you are in butcher school) or someone with internet access who can't find info? OR the time I took to find these images. [:E]
[img]
http://www.findagrave.com/meatpage/hormelvienna.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.findagrave.com/meatpage/libbysvienna.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.findagrave.com/meatpage/armourvienna.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.dialcorp.com/images/branding/static_modules/armour_prod_VSreg.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.dialcorp.com/images/branding/static_modules/armour_prod_VSjala.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.dialcorp.com/images/branding/static_modules/armour_prod_VShot.jpg[/img]

That is a great topic!   -   I can think of dozens of ideas.

You can compare Vienna Sausages to other potted meats (spam), and explain how they differ from hot dogs and other sausages.  There is also the nutritional content (or lack thereof).  then lead into the manufacture and marketing of the sausages and focus on the most popular brands. You don't need that much info and it is an easy A.

I would load it up with all kinds of BS about utility.
Here is one site I found that might help.

[url]http://www.globalbuyer.org/Japan/statistics/processsector.asp[/url]

Try this link:

[url]http://www.manbeef.com/home.html[/url]

There's bound to be a Vienna sausage there somewhere.

Vienna Sausages are a vital part of our Armed Forces.  Any 10 page paper on the topic would be incomplete with out this point.  Vienna Sausages are “pogey bait”.  They hold this coveted spot along side Hormel chili, Fig Newton’s, and SPAM just to name a few.    Pogey bait is what service men of all types carry into the filed and the only reliable and tolerable source of food.  The sausages come packaged in small individual size cans.  These small portions are portable and very handy.  I personally have had many experiences with these handy little snacks.  As a private assigned to drive the M113 Armored Personnel Carrier I was forced to perform these duties while deprived of sleep and food.  Often times I was torn between sleeping with my head resting on the locked back laterals or popping open a convenient sized can of Vienna Sausages during the short five minuet breaks I had.  I quickly learned that warm Vienna Sausages are much better than cold.  When they are cold the “juice” they are packaged in turns to a semi jelly type substance, and is not very appealing.  I found the M113’s diesel heating system works nicely to warm them up.  Caution!  Open the can slightly BEFORE heating them (if your ever hard pressed for a science lab try heating a sealed can of Vienna Sausages for ten minutes over an open flame, then opening.  Tip; wear protective gear).  Vienna Sausages became a standard part of my gear when heading out to the field for training.  While the Army intended to feed us, it often times failed to happen.  Its hard for the First Sargent to find a unit when the 2nd Lieutenant has the unit hopelessly lost.  While writing your paper please don’t over look the preparedness, independence, and sustenance Vienna Sausages provide to the men and women of our Armed Forces.  

Due Friday is a bit of a real short term assignment, other than that, what's the problem?

We're talking marketing here, right?
Here's the exposé: Start with how said Wiener was created to sell _some_thing; after the butcher shop ran out of real merchandise on this particular day, forcing the butcher to sweep the store for scraps like chicken lips, bovine udders, and hog noses, mincing all of it together, stuffing it into guts and sell it as "noveltie of the day".

End with the famous All-American Vienna style sausage, glorified in movies and at the stadium, sold in fancy wrapping at the grocery store.

If you can't come up with 10 pages on that topic, you're lame.

Check Google for similarities:

Currywurst, Weisswurst, Wiener Wuerstchen...

Don't forget to include applying for government handouts to pay for promotional activities.

[url]http://www.ams.usda.gov/tmd/[/url]

Unlike hotdogs,there made out of select lips and assholes

What!?!?!? NO CHOW MEIN!!, Are they insane?  They will go out of business!!!

The SUREST way to impress your prof. and get a good grade is to inject race / racism into the paper somewhere.

Egghead profs eat that crap up.

You chose this foodstuff and had it approved by the prof. I'm not sure how, but you've made it to a senior level marketing class and can't figure out that all of your emotions towards Vienna Sausage (ie. connotations, experiences, fears?) are exactly the things you should use to parlay into your paper? If you decide to get into advertising, I fear that we'll have boring Superbowls in the future.

I wish I was in college again...

Since you have a lot of space to fill and little time to do research, I suggest the creative use of charts and graphs.  Not only is a picture worth a thousand words, but it can fill half a page, too. [:D]

[DEVIL]

It's a college paper? - Why not inject a little Freudian Psychology.  Start it off with a discussian about how professors that assign topics on vienna sausages might have questions/concerns/fears concerning their manhood.  It will probably/definitely screw your grade -[FRAG] - unless he gives points for creativity, which most aren't prone to do.

Yes... pictures are good.

And don't forget the old high school trick of using 14-point Helvetica, bold, double-spaced, with 1.5" margins.

Oh, and don't forget the title page! It must count as a page, otherwise why is it called a "page"? A whole page with nothing on it but "Vienna Sausages in the Consumer Market", centered, 1/3 of the way down from the top.

talk about the military eating it then transition into the M-16 and other weapons.

Maybe spend a few pages talking about how it could be better marketed - come up with marketing stragegies and such.

Or you could just write a bit on the properties of a can of Vienna sausages when hit with some .223 or .308

Begin with an examination of the history of sausage in general.  The idea of chopped/spiced meat dates back to, at least, ancient Roman times and you should have no trouble inding plenty of material.  Narrow your focus to the frankfurter type sausages as you conclude the section.
Next examine the history of canned food.  This part will give you a nifty military tie-in, as canning was invented by a frenchie to win a prize offered by Napoleon.  Nappy wanted a dependable and safe method of preserving food for his armies.
Transition to a brief examination of the American meat-packing industry, concentrating on the company that makes this particular product.  Hormel, isn't it?
At this point, you can delve into how the product has historically been favored by campers, fisherman, military, hunters, and other outdoor types.  
This  isn't  difficult paper.  Quit your snivelling and get started.

What a slamming marketing concept: "we'll take these undesireable pieces parts, like lips, bungs, ears, sphincters, colons, epiglotti, and produce a sausage-like substance that outdoorsmen will crave!" That's genius! Why, its right up there with lite beer: "hey - I have a great idea! Lets put water in our beer, and then sell it for more money!" [:D]

Seriously, don't forget the tried and true essay format:
1. Introduction, and at least three main points.
2. second best point
3-4: othe main points, with the best one last
5. Conclusion, and summarize main points.

Easy. I aced every paper I ever wrote, and I was an engineering major. [BD]

So, are you getting the 'help' you expected to get from us? [:E]