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Posted: 1/30/2002 11:37:19 AM EDT
[b][size=3]BE ANY MORE OF A PAIN IN MY ASS?!?!?!?[/B][/SIZE=3] It's driving me to [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 11:38:35 AM EDT
We are 60 days form closing on the new build and I am at the end of my rope too.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 11:46:28 AM EDT
Hey, I want a new home and a [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] The home prices under Caliban rule are quite expensive, I need another [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] I've been whoring my self at night saving up for a new home [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] Please don't tell anyone about my whoring at night [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 11:49:20 AM EDT
Wait til you try to remodel it..........
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 11:50:52 AM EDT
Wait until 12mo later and you find something wrong with it.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:03:50 PM EDT
[b]Chimborazo[/b], I take it you haven't actually "closed" yet? You ain't seen nothin' yet! [whacko] Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS [U]BEFORE[/U] YOU SIGN... Bwaaahaahaahaaa....
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:13:30 PM EDT
Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS BEFORE YOU SIGN...
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You mean I have to read all those papers?.....and understand them?.....There are millions of those! One copy for the lawyer, one copy for the bank, and one copy for myself! ARRRGH!.....I just signed and signed until I drop! For what it is worth......Since 1996, my house value went up $150K....good investment. Can I save that much in 5 years?....Hell no.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:19:31 PM EDT
Post from The_Macallan -
Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS BEFORE YOU SIGN...
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Having been a closing attorney for various title companies for more than twenty years, the way I always explain it to new homebuyers is very succinct: After showing the young couple six inches (don't go there!) of stacked papers, I say to them: Before you sign this paperwork, let me explain to you two things that the law presumes: 1. That you read everything you sign. 2. That you understand everything you read. That's it! If you complain about it later the Judge will simply look at you, dolefully, and ask you 'Sir, Madam, is that your signature?' You can bring in all of your elementary school teachers and have them explain about your reading abilities, etc., but the Judge will just say 'If that's your signature, case closed, you lose.' About that time the young couple is getting mighty anxious about what they're signing, etc., and that's when I tell them. Well, you can certainly take the time to read all of this stuff, that, quite frankly, even though I drew it up, I'm not certain I've ever read, but we will need to postpone this closing, 'cause it will take you several days with a Black's Law Dictionary by your side. Just remember this rhyming couplet and you will know [u]everything[/u] you need to know about what you're about to sign: [size=3][b]If you pay, you stay. If you don't, you won't![/b][/size=3] Pretty simple. It works with car loans, too![:D] Eric The(Simple)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:20:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2002 12:21:55 PM EDT by The_Macallan]
Originally Posted By AR_Rifle:
Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS BEFORE YOU SIGN...
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You mean I have to read all those papers?.....and understand them?.....There are millions of those! One copy for the lawyer, one copy for the bank, and one copy for myself! ARRRGH!.....I just signed and signed until I drop! For what it is worth......Since 1996, my house value went up $150K....good investment. Can I save that much in 5 years?....Hell no.
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Little did you know that one of those millions of fine-print forms you signed was actually a quitclaim the broker stuffed in the stack signing your house over to him. HE is actually the one with 150K equity in a house and you're just renting from him. [:D]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:29:23 PM EDT
If you pay, you stay. If you don't, you won't!
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That's the bottom line....that I understand. No, the house is under my name not the broker. The bank want their money back that's all. If I don't pay back my loan, either I will sell the house or they will auction it off to collect. If you keep on paying, nothing will happen.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:42:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Chaingun: I've been whoring my self at night saving up for a new home [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] Please don't tell anyone about my whoring at night [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img]
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I won't tell as long as you don't work my corner. I've gotta make a buck too ya know.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:43:16 PM EDT
Originally Posted By The_Macallan: [b]Chimborazo[/b], I take it you haven't actually "closed" yet? You ain't seen nothin' yet! [whacko] Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS [U]BEFORE[/U] YOU SIGN...
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February 22nd if all goes well. But just today I decided to switch lenders. I hate this.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:54:16 PM EDT
I've been renovating since august and working seven days a week since then.Last week I dragged a 20x16 rug and threw out my back.now my wife is thinking about selling and moving ahhh women they never make up their minds.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 12:55:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2002 12:56:30 PM EDT by FatMan]
OK, you guys asked for it: Home Buyers Real Estate Jargon Translation Guide by FatMan (Last updated in 1995) Park-like Setting - A lake in the basement and tons of dog shit in the yard Fireplace - There's been a fire in this place Fenced Yard - Neighbor raises pit bulls and is not known for feeding them well Family Neighborhood - Kids running, yelling and playing in the yard 24 hrs. a day Needs TLC - Bring a bulldozer Handyman Special - Bring two bulldozers Hardwood Floors - Heavy smell of animal urine required removal of carpets F/HA Heat - Broker is full of hot air because the heat is on to sell the house Close to Public Transportation - Train tracks in your back yard Showplace - Prior owner had 6 kids, 4 dogs, 3 cats, 2 mortgages and no taste Recent Roof - 3rd layer of shingles added 15 years ago Totally Renovated - Previous owner's brother "Sid" painted the house last year Foreclosure - Crime ridden area drove property value below mortgage balance Owner Anxious - see Foreclosure Bring In All Offers - see Owner Anxious Established Neighborhood - Houses were built before the Civil War Older Neighborhood - Houses were built before the Revolutionary War Mother/Daughter - Illegal 2 family with common entrance and utilities Legal 2 Family - see Mother/Daughter In-Town Setting - No off street parking Cul-de-Sac - French for "Through street to landfill not finished yet" Below Market Value - Optimistic owner originally priced it $10,000 too high A Steal - Home under foreclosure as owner is serving time for theft Multi-use - Owner uses home to live in and deal drugs from Rural Setting - 32 miles to nearest sign of civilization Quiet Street - Heavy Metal rock band next door is currently "on tour" Mrs. Clean Lives Here - Owner is old bald lady with one hoop earring Move right in - Flood washed out previous owner's possessions Cottage - Sheetrocked garage Doll House - see Cottage Starter Home - see Doll House Equity - Something everyone else seems to have Mortgage - Repay $4 for every $1 you borrow Title Insurance - What you need in case your $1000 lawyer didn't do his job Oversized Lot - Property is 15 ft. wide and 700 ft. deep Has Potential - Has termites Contractor's Home - Built with bits and pieces left over from other projects 1/2 Bath - Solitary commode in middle of unfinished cellar Finished Basement - Curtains stapled to window frames, posters on cement walls Professional Landscaping - Owner paid neighbors kid to mow lawn once-a-week Mature Trees - Invest in a chain saw and a chipper now Service Entrance - Back door Formal Entryway - Front door Smaller Home - Front and back door share same hinge Tree Lined Street - Root-buckled sidewalk should be replaced to avoid lawsuits New Thermal Windows - Brick wielding youths destroyed the old windows Protected Wetlands - House is on a flood plain Brand New Condo - Building constructed of toad shit and waxed paper Owner Financing Available - House is so bad, owner will pay you to buy it Creative Financing Available - 40 year note, 6 points, 18% rate, $900 fee Rustic – Outhouse Secluded - Accessible by helicopter only, groceries must be air-dropped in Light and Airy – No air conditioning Partially Fenced – 30% of fence burned in local KKK "misunderstanding"
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 1:07:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 1:31:37 PM EDT
I sold my condo and purchased a house. 14 days from offer to close on the house, possession 2 days after closing. Smooth as glass.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 1:33:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2002 1:44:05 PM EDT by Graves14]
Waaaaaaaa Waaaaaa Want a real sob story? I'm the guy who used to deal with you @$$hole home owners. I used to work for a company that built entry level housing, starter homes, you know the type. Every damn one of those homeowners wanted their f'ing dream home at a row housing price. You don't get custom carpentry for 120 grand. Drywall texture is not an exact science...there will be inconsistencies in it. If you wanted custom cabinets, you should have paid for them. Man I can tell some stories about the crazy people I had to deal with. The DAMN WOMEN were the worst.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 1:55:26 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Chimborazo:
Originally Posted By The_Macallan: [b]Chimborazo[/b], I take it you haven't actually "closed" yet? You ain't seen nothin' yet! [whacko] Be sure you READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL DOCUMENTS [U]BEFORE[/U] YOU SIGN...
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February 22nd if all goes well. But just today I decided to switch lenders. I hate this.
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Good luck to you! I figure right about now, the only other thing on your mind, besides closing the deal, is looking for BOXES! Big boxes. Lots of them.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:43:15 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Chimborazo: February 22nd if all goes well. But just today I decided to switch lenders. I hate this.
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Drop me an email with any questions that you have. I am a broker/lender and can be on your side when no one else is.[:)]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:44:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Chaingun: Hey, I want a new home and a [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] The home prices under Caliban rule are quite expensive, I need another [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] I've been whoring my self at night saving up for a new home [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img] Please don't tell anyone about my whoring at night [img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Chimborazo%2Fbeer%2Egif[/img]
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Drop me an email, I may be ale to hook you up with a program that will make your down payment and closing costs for you. No shit no cost.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 4:30:05 PM EDT
I've done several real estate deals, including an apartment building. One thing I learned (the hard way) is to spend the extra money on a lawyer. It's well worth the cost. Can you really trust some one making a commission on your purchase having your best interest as his/hers priority ?
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 4:36:40 PM EDT
For me MOVING is the worst part...
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 5:02:51 PM EDT
At our first closing I remember everyone being in such a good mood and really friendly. Once the checks started flying around the room I realized why. They were all getting paid, with our money! Walking out my wife asked "Do you feel like you just got mugged?" I told her yes by a bunch of smiling well dressed muggers. -elliott
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 5:29:59 PM EDT
I wish you good luck and a happy life in your home. Make sure you get Mortgage Insurance on top of the Homeowners Insurance. Also some kind of disability Insurance would be good. Trust me I almost lost my house when I got hurt on the job 6 months after I bought. If it wasn't for my parents God knows. Don't get upset if something breaks. Don't fight with the wife since she will get the house and maybe your guns. plan what room your going to be buried in since you pay for 30yrs refinance and pay for another 25. Other than that enjoy it.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 9:40:54 PM EDT
It's a total nightmare. I'm going back and forth with the landscapers now, and I bought $3200 in just SHUTTERS today!
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