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Posted: 1/29/2002 8:05:28 PM EDT
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?" Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us." And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves." And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG." And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail. After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well." And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration." And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility. And they were greatly improved. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy. And Cat didn't care one way or the other.
Link Posted: 1/29/2002 8:16:20 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 4:39:50 AM EDT
That must have been Fluffy's earliest ancestor.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 4:56:13 AM EDT
Damn I hate cats!! Every try to stare one down?? They can be tough competitors!!
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 4:57:48 AM EDT
Hannah rocks!
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 7:49:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Stormbringer: Damn I hate cats!! Every try to stare one down?? They can be tough competitors!!
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My dad explained how they do it. I asked him if cats ever blink. He said they wait until YOU blink, so you hardly ever see them blink.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 7:55:06 AM EDT
Originally Posted By QuietShootr: Hannah rocks!
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What he said !
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 8:16:10 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 8:19:47 AM EDT
I have a cat that can stare down ANY of you wusses. [:D] Its dumb as a box of rocks sometimes, but this thing will look right thru you. Actually, I'm a cat person myself. But my cats are a-typical.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 9:06:26 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2002 9:07:30 AM EDT by 5subslr5]
To be semi-serious (as opposed to full-auto serious) for a moment. Dogs live with with us because they're pack animals and share a sense of order with us human herd animals. Additionally dogs and humans share certain traits such as loyalty, bravery, honor and integrity. Cats live with us because it is convenient ! [:D]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 9:14:05 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 9:50:24 AM EDT
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1: Garandman, I REALLY wish I didn't know that:
Originally posted by Garandman: Actually, I'm a cat person myself.
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Beekeep - what's wrong with cats??? You'd have to know my cats (2 of them) Pure entertainment to watch them. Both full of personality, and cahones. One of them ATTACKED a dog, and sent it running and yelping out of our house, never to even return to our yard again. At times when its master would come over our house, the dog would stand in the road, but REFUSED to come in the yard. Same cat beat the CRAP out of another cat we got to keep it company. Had to take it back to its former owner [}:D] With apologies for the missing clumps of fur. [}:D]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 9:57:08 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/30/2002 9:59:13 AM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 2:36:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
Originally Posted By garandman: what's wrong with cats???
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Nothing really, depending upon the cooking method. In small game, I prefer the taste of squirrels and rabbits though. [:D] Edited to add the smiley so you would know I'm only kidding.
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I love cats......they taste like chicken. Sauted with onions and garlic. LOL[:D]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 2:53:32 PM EDT
A cat and a dog are in the bedroom watching a couple make love. The dog is thinking: "Hey that looks like fun! Can I get in on that?" The cat hisses and thinks: "Had better!" docmac86
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:00:14 PM EDT
My Cat can field strip, clean and reassemble my AR faster than I can. I swear he's gonna take over the Earth. Smart little Fucker. TOO smart. Pit
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:14:33 PM EDT
Hannah.........I have one for you.......blackandgreen@ar15..........
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:27:54 PM EDT
Originally Posted By PitViper: My Cat can field strip, clean and reassemble my AR faster than I can. I swear he's gonna take over the Earth. Smart little Fucker. TOO smart. Pit
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Is his name Mr.Tinkles ?* [:D] *see"Cats&Dogs.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:41:54 PM EDT
Recently picked up a six month old cat, female, from a roommate of my exgirlfriend. He apparantly was outed of his room for not paying his rent and left the beast to parish. I took her, the cat, in my home. She has one hell of a stare. Ain't afraid of water and couldn't care less what I think. While typing this she's staring at me waiting for space on my lap. She ate from a plant I have standing in my living room to get rid of some hairball last night, don't know what was in that plant but it's been running like a madcat all night. Ever seen a cat on a peyote trip, think I've just witnessed that. Still, the beast has won a spot in my heart.
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:45:36 PM EDT
Originally Posted By BlackandGreen: Hannah.........I have one for you.......blackandgreen@ar15..........
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Ummmmm.......one what? [shock]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 3:52:50 PM EDT
[:(] hmmm, I was going to say "Penthouse" but then I realised it wasn't a question! [;)]
Link Posted: 1/30/2002 5:08:04 PM EDT
I love my dog, I'm amazed by and love my cats. Thanks Hannah.
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