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Posted: 1/28/2002 10:21:43 PM EDT
I'm not married, but from what I've heard from some married friends, this struck me as being pretty funny. Share it with your wife if it applies....maybe then she'll relate. ------------------------ "I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do". One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed. The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store... I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a diamond tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face ... it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw." -------------------------
Link Posted: 1/28/2002 10:43:38 PM EDT
I blame Madonna and the whole damn "Material Girl" idea... While a monastery may sound exciting right now to you, you may have solved an issue (or gotten on the right road) that the two of you may have had on disagreements in sexuality. A hard lesson, and usually a difficult compromise... As far as spending money, my wife and I worked something out. We have the joint account for household expenses and major loans (cars, etc.) that both of us put into. For hobbies and the like, we each have our own checking/savings accounts - that the other does not have access to! A part of what each of us earns goes into it, and anything extra comes from odd jobs, paying hobbies, and the like (I sell some Jeep parts, do mechanic work in the neighbourhood, help with major jobs... She has her crafts and sidework as a organiser) and anything for entertainment or "non-essential" spending comes out of the discretionary accounts. She wants wifty clothes? Her account. I want a new welder? My account. No arguments over money. Sex? Almost as easy. If she says "no," I just turn over and go to sleep. She curls up behind me. Usually I get what I want the next night. I don't push, and I get more out of her that way (same kind of thing with me. Hurry me up, and I will go slower...) I hope this creates a resolution for both of you. FFZ
Link Posted: 1/28/2002 11:03:53 PM EDT
I had a stupidity attack , I actually emailed it to my wife [BD]or should it be [}:D]
Link Posted: 1/28/2002 11:08:01 PM EDT
Bookmarking for later review WITH the wife...
Link Posted: 1/29/2002 7:02:53 AM EDT
Originally Posted By FreeFireZone: I blame Madonna and the whole damn "Material Girl" idea... While a monastery may sound exciting right now to you, you may have solved an issue (or gotten on the right road) that the two of you may have had on disagreements in sexuality. A hard lesson, and usually a difficult compromise... As far as spending money, my wife and I worked something out. We have the joint account for household expenses and major loans (cars, etc.) that both of us put into. For hobbies and the like, we each have our own checking/savings accounts - that the other does not have access to! A part of what each of us earns goes into it, and anything extra comes from odd jobs, paying hobbies, and the like (I sell some Jeep parts, do mechanic work in the neighbourhood, help with major jobs... She has her crafts and sidework as a organiser) and anything for entertainment or "non-essential" spending comes out of the discretionary accounts. She wants wifty clothes? Her account. I want a new welder? My account. No arguments over money. Sex? Almost as easy. If she says "no," I just turn over and go to sleep. She curls up behind me. Usually I get what I want the next night. I don't push, and I get more out of her that way (same kind of thing with me. Hurry me up, and I will go slower...) I hope this creates a resolution for both of you. FFZ
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Thanks for the support, but I'm single.
Link Posted: 1/29/2002 7:13:16 AM EDT
M4 That is a great article. Thanks for sharing.
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