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Posted: 1/24/2002 3:45:52 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/24/2002 4:35:35 AM EDT by tbone]
I have a problem with my daughters school, we are going to pull her out. I have learned that the diverse population consists of brown and black gang bangers and wanna be's. I have learned that she has been beat up, intimidated and sexually assaulted and this is with a school full of off duty cops as security. I have been to the school trying to reason and as a last resort getting quite pissed in their presence. Rachel has reported the incidences,but I have been told they didn't see it they can't do anything about it. I need advice as to what to do, the school knows I cannot afford an attorney to go after there asses. I need advice quickly,if you don't want to post in the forum e-mail me directly.[:(!] thanks Terry
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 4:43:33 AM EDT
Well by all means get her out of there. In the mean time... Teach her the basics EYES Throat Groin Instep
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 5:26:55 AM EDT
Sounds kind of like being in a jet fighter. Your surrounded by bad guys. Your plane has been shot Your leaking fuel and the hydraulics are out. It’s time to pull the ejection handle. Try Private school or home school. You can’t beat the public education system and you don’t want to risk your daughter’s life “wid da bangers”. Both options are expensive but what’s your daughter’s life worth?
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 5:45:32 AM EDT
Originally Posted By 308wood: Sounds kind of like being in a jet fighter. Your surrounded by bad guys. Your plane has been shot Your leaking fuel and the hydraulics are out. It’s time to pull the ejection handle. Try Private school or home school. You can’t beat the public education system and you don’t want to risk your daughter’s life “wid da bangers”. Both options are expensive but what’s your daughter’s life worth?
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Actually, public education sucks. There are alot of schools that are good, there are even more excellent teachers, but thats despite a system that is seriously lacking. I have alot of friends that whent into highschool teaching, they have already left or are trying to get out. I was able to help one get a teaching position at the catholic school I went to. He makes less money but is much happier. I would try to find a catholic school in your area regardless of your religon. My school had plenty of "all kinds" including many many protestants, more than a few jews and even some muslims. Also look into financial assistance. My parents fell on hard times my senior year and the school all but waived my tuition.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 6:16:26 AM EDT
I am normally a rather gentle fellow. However, there are a few sensitive areas that tick me off. This is one of them. Protect your daughter at all costs. There is no reason for her to be treated like that in any school. We live in a small city of about 50,000 in Ma. Salem to be exact. There are six elementary schools here just to keep up with the Dominicans and other non-whites. My son did two years, pre-school and kindergarten. At the very first sign of trouble we took him out. My wife read the principle the riot act and told her what she could do the little "darlings". We must pay our taxes to support the "education" of people who don't want to work and sit home collecting. Public school is a business. It's there to make money. The more students the more money. We are in private school now. But he cost is becoming too much so we are looking into home schooling. If she must stay in public school write the mayor of the town, call a selectman, or write the local paper. While this may not have an impact, it will certainly get notice. And at this point it does not matter if the notice is good or ill. Your daughter is too precious to take any of this.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 6:32:38 AM EDT
What part of Indy are you in? My fiance was raised in Indianapolis and went to Roncalli High (as well as her two brothers). It is a Catholic school and the three children were Catholic. But, all three really enjoyed the school, their education, and the instructors. I would put my vote in for a Catholic private school. Here in Oregon (where I was born and raised) we don't have many private schools. I am the product of a public education and have been seriously considering placing my own children (When I do become a father!) in a private school. Just feels safer right now. Karl
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 7:08:35 AM EDT
I am so glad that my youngest is a Jr. in High School now! I worried about this crap the whole time they were in elementary school. About the time they started bussing in the undesirables, we moved to an adjacent county and away from the crap mentioned above. The public school system is a bad joke. I'm not blaming the teachers, the greatest majority of teachers really try, to help the kids. It's the damn parents and the laws (brought to by liberal boneheads) that have brought this situation upon the schools. [pissed]
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 7:25:21 AM EDT
Reading what your daughter has gone through really upset me. I have three daughters and my wife has been home schooling them for a year and a half now. I recommend home schooling if there is any way possible. There are alot of resonably priced curriculums out there. It does take alot of time though. You may be able to adjust your and your wifes schedules or be flexible with school time. You may be able to home school in the evenings and weekends etc. You should do an internet search of some of the home schooling support groups in your area. I am glad you are getting her out of that school.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 7:28:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 7:47:37 AM EDT
Believe it or not, I personally experienced a very similar situation when I was in 6th grade. At the time, I had no clue that there was any such thing as racism. I was only 12, what did I know? Well it made itself apparent to me in a very violent way, and culminated with a pretty serious incedent. Before I continue, don't reply to my post with "you're a racist" crap. Facts are facts, and not subject to opinion. Period. The middle school bussed in a lot of blacks from less affluent communities. They clearly, at least many of them, had a major problem with the white students. Getting punched for no reason wasn't uncommon at all, getting caught alone in the hallways by them was NEVER a good thing. In general, none of the white kids had any illusions about what many of the black students intent was towards them. I never witnessed a single incedent involving white students bothering the black students. Not to say it didn't happen, but considering what I personally witnessed, I never saw anything like that. One day, after school had just ended, I was on my way out to the front of the school to be picked up by my mom. I stopped off to the bathroom on my way out. While I was in there, a group of roughly 12-15 black students funneled in to the bathroom as well. At least half were highschool students from the highschool next door. Keep in mind, I was 12. This group proceeded to give me the beating of a lifetime. They actually broke tiles on the bathroom wall by slamming my head in to it. I was held down, punched in the face, head and stomach as well as kicked by those who didn't have room to throw a punch. It lasted like what seemed hours, but probably only a few minutes. When it was all over, they ran out and left. I couldn't believe what had happened to me. I knew a few of these guys from gym class, and never had any problems with them, never a bad word...nothing. Now they were beating the hell out of me. All the while making it VERY clear that it was because I was white. Racial slurs and racist comments were the only words I remembered. (cont.)
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 7:48:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/24/2002 7:55:24 AM EDT by M4]
I walked out to my moms car, late obviously, and was bleeding from my nose, ears, mouth and cuts on my face. She immediately went to the office to report what happened, and to show them my condition. They couldn't have cared less. They said the same to her as your school said to you. They saw nothing, so they couldn't punish anyone. Nice, huh? Wonder if they told that to the parents of the 6th grade white girl who was pinned to the floor a week later and raped by several black guys. That's what she said anyway, probably just lying because it was actually SHE who was racist. Regardless, that was it. I spent one last week at that school while my parents made the necessary sacrifices to get me in to a private school. Once that happened, my education, in an acedemic way was able to actually begin. Bottomline, I'd take, as you are, your situation VERY seriously. I would remove her from that school as soon as humanly possible. To think that she's experienced the worst of it could be a very big mistake for everyone involved, particularly her. Racism from blacks towards whites is a VERY unPC thing to bring up. People rationalize and brush away that notion as if it's fiction. As if facts don't motivate such ideas, but white racism does. In my case, the broken tiles in the boys room don't lie. I didn't slam my own head in to them, I assure you of that. We talk about racism, and due to some true racists on this board, the subject, when it's in the framework of black racism gets slammed very quickly. Often justifyably so. Let's not confuse biggotry with reality in this case. Packing up and running isn't my style in most cases, but it's your daughter on the line, and she should never be endangered if it can be avoided at all. Never. It can be avoided....she needs to be removed from that environment a.s.a.p. Good luck, and in the mean time do whatever you can to let her know you are unbendably firm being her best friend, ally and father. Don't let her down.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 8:15:51 AM EDT
My advice is to teach her to fight. When I was a kid, I got beat up on the way home from school almost every week. I was small for my age, and bullies look for weakness and attack it. A friend of my father had been stationed overseas (Japan and the Philippines) began teaching me how to fight. I did not win the first few fights, but I soon learned to draw blood. I dished out a few bloody noses, they decided I was not an easiy enough target and stopped bothering me. I believe they may be picking on her because they see her as weak. Bullies come in all races, but their mentality is the same. Learning to defend herself will likely boost her confidence and serve her well in the long run. Being responsible and protecting herself is something she needs to learn sooner or later. You may be able to find some low cost martial arts instruction in your area.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 8:22:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/24/2002 8:28:53 AM EDT by M4]
Originally Posted By mejames: My advice is to teach her to fight. When I was a kid, I got beat up on the way home from school almost every week. I was small for my age, and bullies look for weakness and attack it. A friend of my father had been stationed overseas (Japan and the Philippines) began teaching me how to fight. I did not win the first few fights, but I soon learned to draw blood. I dished out a few bloody noses, they decided I was not an easiy enough target and stopped bothering me. I believe they may be picking on her because they see her as weak. Bullies come in all races, but their mentality is the same. Learning to defend herself will likely boost her confidence and serve her well in the long run. Being responsible and protecting herself is something she needs to learn sooner or later. You may be able to find some low cost martial arts instruction in your area.
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How long does she have to learn to fight when she's already been sexually assaulted? How many more times can that happen before she can truly defend herself? How well do you think her fighting skills would be against multiple attackers? Even you stated you didn't win your first few fights. Can a young girl afford to "not win" hers when she's being sexually assaulted? Roll the dice with your daughter if you like(though I would hope you wouldn't), but I'd get her the hell out of there. Self defense is something everyone should know, but get the order of things straight. Remove her from danger #1. Period. Get her in a safe school so she can learn and progress. #2 Enroll her in self defense for future needs. #3 Trial by fire when it comes to a daughter being sexually assaulted is insane. You need to rethink what you've recommended.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 8:31:39 AM EDT
----------------------------------------------- Originally posted by M4: [b]...but I'd get her the hell out of there. Self defense is something everyone should know, but get the order of things straight. Remove her from danger #1. Period. Get her in a safe school so she can learn and progress. #2 Enroll her in self defense for future needs. #3 Trial by fire when it comes to a daughter being sexually assaulted is insane. You need to rethink what you've recommended. [/b] ----------------------------------------------- Such good advice deserves a re-post!
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 8:32:30 AM EDT
i, too, would like to know where in indiana you are living. i was raised in indianapolis and went to school in the wayne township school system. i wouldn't be a bit surprised to find out that this is occuring in one of the IPS schools in the indy area (of course, it would probably only be worse up in the Gary area). i can't add to the advice given because the things that you need to do/focus on have already been mentioned. except mejames. your advice sucks.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 9:56:01 AM EDT
I just finished teaching 10 years in the public schools. If she were my daughter I would sign her up at the nearest Catholic school. They will admit her even if you are not Catholic. If this is not what you want look for a Baptist or other religion based school. Just my 2 cents. John
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 10:18:58 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/24/2002 11:39:20 AM EDT by tbone]
We live in Lafayette Indiana, and the very thing a lot of these people are moving here to get away from they are bringing with them within there own kids. I have tried to teach her how to hurt people but she is just not aggressive enough, anyhow to some of these little rat bastards fighting is a normal everyday thing. I went to this school when I was a kid in the sixties, but it was not like this.Rachel went from straight A's and being an excellent basket ball player who could beat most guys she played on the court.I hate to say it but now she has no self esteem and is failing school I am having a hard time from doing the big nasty on a few of these punks. The high schools name is Lafayette Jefferson by the way. thank you for your concerns.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 10:52:39 AM EDT
M4: I too have been jumped by a group of black people, about 10 of them. I can't say it was because I was white, but because I had the gall to disagree with one of them, therefore I was automatically a "racist". none of them were punished, they wanted to punish me, but only because one teacher knew me, and understood that it wasn't my fault, I didn't. Nobody was punished. I do say that what made the group pissed is when after trying to beat me, I still stood up and acted fine. My beating wasn't as bad because it wasn't in a tiled room, and the room was small, so they had trouble getting hits in. This was about 6 years ago. I do have to say, it's not the teachers, all of the teachers I've had, except maybe one or two really cared about what happened to ALL students, regardless of race/ethnicity, but as soon as you hit the admin, the system is F*CKED.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 8:02:01 PM EDT
I am sorry that some of you don't like my advice, but please consider my perspective. I am concerned that if he takes her out of the school, she will always be the victim. If she runs from this, she may keep running for the rest of her life. I know as parents you want to protect your children, but she must learn to adapt and overcome. Yes, she was verbally abused and physically assaulted. Her physical wounds will heal with time, but only she can mend her damaged spirit. I feel that tbone needs to empower his young woman to overcome adversity. You cannot buy self-confidence from some fancy prep school; it has to come from within. He needs to set aside his fear and trust that she can triumph over this evil. If you believe in her, she will draw strength from you and start to believe in herself. Changing schools can be traumatic in itself, so I feel that he needs to discuss it with her. This problem obviously did not start yesterday. Her grades and social activities have suffered, so other factors may be involved. She is young, and life does not get any easier. I am sure you don't want her to spend the rest of her life as an easy mark. If she can conquer this challenge, she will have the strenth to achieve anything she desires. [i]Modesty, Courtesy, Integrity, Self-control, Perserverance, and Indomitable spirit[/i]
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 9:46:02 PM EDT
Tbone, Mejames. I would say pull her from that school. Cause even if you got her to be agressive enough to defend herself, guess what would happen if she injured one of her attackers? SHE would get expeled, along with her attackers- its called Zero Tolerance... Anyway you would soon be having to put her in private school anyways PLUS possible action in Juvenile court. Thing is she would only be facing such action [i]because she fought on a school ground![/i] If it happened on a public street in her neighborhood it would be no different if they attacked you or I and we had to defend ourselves, the Police would have to handle it the same way as if the fight was between adults. That includes investigation into who was the instigator- something that public schools are notorious at avoiding doing. So home school would be the first choice, private school second. Pay schools have their own kinds of bullies- the kind whos parents buy things for the school to look the other way. I would also look into suing in your case, Tbone. You might be able to get the School District to settle for a sum that would pay for any private school in your area, or to hire tutors for home schooling.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 10:12:57 PM EDT
I would try to find a catholic school in your area regardless of your religon.
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I agree with that. All of my family members are protestant, but many have gone to Catholic schools, including me. Just make sure the school teaches a state accepted curriculum. I had to drop-out after eighth grade because my father, uncles, and brothers had left for WWII, and the entire time I was in school, we never studied science or math. I was eighteen before I learned how to multiply on my own. We studied only the classics, foreign languages, and history. Now, you couldn't get a high enough score on the SAT to get into college without having math. mejames, I strongly disagree with your advice to encourage her to fight back. My neighbor's daughter was in the sixth grade last year and fought back against a pair of eighth grade boys. The principal at the school called the police, and she was suspended from school for three days. In this county, like I assume it is many places, fighting back is the same as starting the fight. I know it's not right, but that's the way it is. A judge ordered her to several weeks of (expensive) counseling. Her mother was fired from her job, because she had to be away three afternoons a week to go with her daughter. The judge also threatened to put her in a foster home if she got in any more legal trouble. My wife works for DSS, so I hear about too many of these type of horror stories.z
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 10:35:01 PM EDT
Sorry to her about your daughter. I would get her out of that school fast they have the same problem in the town I visited in Mississippi. Also in roll her in self defense classes. If the ASP baton is legal to carry where you are from get her training in that it is a hell of a weapon and have her carry it. Maybe talk to the local news paper or call a radio show and tell the people about this let all the parents know what the hell is going on. From what I have seen now a days I know I'm going to get my son in to self defense classes at age 3 (He is only 20 months now.) Also if you go to pick out a self defense class for he make sure they have a Red man suite hanging up some where and you see it because if they don't just go out a buy her a video.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 10:46:25 PM EDT
Lafayette JEFF? I got out of there in '89 - it wasn't anything like that then... I suppose it's true - the gangs have been moving to the smaller cities because they know the cops and people there don't know what to do with them. I still have family in Lafayette (and Monticello, and Monon) and I don't have too much trouble - but I'm 6'3" and 240#. I havent' heard anything from my kid sister either - and she's just 18 and about to leave anyhow (her old man...) Hard to believe my hometown's that much of a Hellhole... Glad I'm out. I just need to extricate the rest of the family now... Mom and sis in harm's way for about 6 months now, and I have given them BOTH aggressive self-defence education and refreshers when I visit. Don't cross, they'll kill. I expect no less. FFZ
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 11:06:04 PM EDT
Originally Posted By tbone: I have a problem with my daughters school, I have learned that she has been beat up, intimidated and sexually assaulted and this is with a school full of off duty cops as security.
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I am surprised that you have not gone to the police station and demanded to file charges. If she has been sexually assaulted, the police are required to investigate.
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 11:15:05 PM EDT
Strange question: What if someone were to go to the local PD and file charges of child endangerment against the principal of the school?
Link Posted: 1/24/2002 11:15:39 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 7:00:36 AM EDT
Originally Posted By M4:
Originally Posted By mejames: My advice is to teach her to fight. When I was a kid, I got beat up on the way home from school almost every week. I was small for my age, and bullies look for weakness and attack it. A friend of my father had been stationed overseas (Japan and the Philippines) began teaching me how to fight. I did not win the first few fights, but I soon learned to draw blood. I dished out a few bloody noses, they decided I was not an easiy enough target and stopped bothering me. I believe they may be picking on her because they see her as weak. Bullies come in all races, but their mentality is the same. Learning to defend herself will likely boost her confidence and serve her well in the long run. Being responsible and protecting herself is something she needs to learn sooner or later. You may be able to find some low cost martial arts instruction in your area.
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How long does she have to learn to fight when she's already been sexually assaulted? How many more times can that happen before she can truly defend herself? How well do you think her fighting skills would be against multiple attackers? Even you stated you didn't win your first few fights. Can a young girl afford to "not win" hers when she's being sexually assaulted? Roll the dice with your daughter if you like(though I would hope you wouldn't), but I'd get her the hell out of there. Self defense is something everyone should know, but get the order of things straight. Remove her from danger #1. Period. Get her in a safe school so she can learn and progress. #2 Enroll her in self defense for future needs. #3 Trial by fire when it comes to a daughter being sexually assaulted is insane. You need to rethink what you've recommended.
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Common sense, just one more time for MeJames...
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:33:36 AM EDT
First get her out of the school. Then...go to WAR with that school and the district. Make life so damn miserable for those lousy beaurocrats that they do finally take action. 1. File a formal complaint with the police. Assault is assault regardless of the age. Hopefully, the cops will visit the school and speak with the teachers/office staff. At least they will call. The school staff will hate that. 2. Contact your local politicians. Start with the local ward heelers and move on up to your congressmen and federal senators. Keep the pressure on. Education is a BIG deal right now with all of the bozos in Washington...and with our great President Bush. I'll just bet you draw fire with that tactic. 3. Contact the media. You may get lucky and find a crusading reporter. They love that shit. I will admit, even the most crusading liberal will likely be scared off by the PC aspects...or their editor will kill the story...but you never can tell. You may get lucky. 4. I HATE this...but you may wish to get yourself a lawyer and file suit against the school and the district. A good tort attorney should be able to make mincemeat of most public school systems like this one. (Crap...just put a few of the students on the stand! I bet the school staff don't want THAT to happen anytime soon! [shock]) I can think of lots of reasons your daughter has been harmed and why that harm demands compensation. THAT will get their attention. Get those slime buckets into court and make them lie on the stand. You should see some big changes then. GO GET THEM!!! [rocket]
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 8:37:19 AM EDT
Talk to an attorney over phone. They may give recs or tell you of someone who will help you. May be a state legal aid with toll free number as well. You DO need an attorny for this.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 10:31:50 AM EDT
My wife is the principal of a private school in Arlington, VA (K-8th). Being a product of the public school system myself I had always thought my wife was being elitist when she would bash the County school system. After years of seeing the "going places" graduates of her program -vs- the "going nowhere" parolees from the public schools I've changed my plans regarding our own children. A GOOD private school education is probably the smartest investment and greatest gift you can provide for your children. If the public school can't or won't provide what you need, do whatever it takes to give your children opportunities for the future. My wife had a parent who paid tuition with mostly $1 and $5 bills. She worked as a dancer in a "gentleman's club". My wife had a parent you paid in rolled coinage. He operated several vending machines in addition to his regular job just so he could cover the tuition.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 11:18:17 AM EDT
Catholic schools cover everything that public schools do. One big advantage they have is that they can throw students who are trouble out. We had a dirtbag student who was new in our public school. After numerous parent conferences and numerous discipline problems the parent removed the child and placed her in a Catholic school. She was back with us less that 6 months later. We had to take her, private schools do not.
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