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Posted: 1/1/2002 10:01:31 PM EDT
[#1]
Quoted: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too? LMAO! That has to be one of the greatest quotes in history, and if it weren't so long it would be my sig line! |
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Posted: 1/1/2002 10:01:57 PM EDT
[#2]
They don't like sex.
It really is that simple. Just ask my wife. She doesn't like it - it is a constant cause of contention in our house (and I'll probably get skinned for this post alone). Seriously - if I had known then what I know now about her, I probably would have passed her by. But she was/is soooo good lookin' [:)] |
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Posted: 1/1/2002 10:24:44 PM EDT
[#3]
They all hate men. All men are stupid to them. When a man asks them a question, depending on the mood of the woman, the answer is "I dunno" or "If you don't know already, "I am not telling you." Then the woman wonders why the relationship failed, and the man wonders where the hell she left her brain at.
There ARE some good ones out there, though [:)] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 12:31:59 AM EDT
[#4]
hehehe... that reminds me of a joke [;D]
A group of girlfriends went on vacation and they see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only". Since they were without their boyfriends, they decide to go in. The Doorman, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works, "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside. The only rule is, once you leave a floor, you can't return to it." The women talk it over and decide to go for it. They start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads "All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and kind". The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the Second floor reads "All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly". This wasn't going to do so again they head for the stairs. The friends move up to the Third floor where the sign read "All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women." This was good but there were still two more floors... So on to the Fourth floor, the sign was perfect. "All the men here have perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfect lovers; they are also single, rich and straight" The women seemed pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth. When they reach the Fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is simply no way to please a woman." |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 12:52:02 AM EDT
[#5]
I'd attempt to go one better on Big Bear's post, but I don't think I can.
Big Bear, you definitely [smash] [BD] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 1:56:05 AM EDT
[#6]
You guys need to start litening to Tom Leykis Radio show [url]http://www.blowmeuptom.com/[/url] and his Leykis 101, how to get guys laid. [sex]
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Posted: 1/2/2002 4:20:07 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too? Sure.. if you want just [i]any[/i] guy.. strangely enough, we're looking for one that we enjoy being with. And not all women hate sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I've been with. Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 4:41:33 AM EDT
[#8]
Great joke, Big_Bear! [:D]
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Posted: 1/2/2002 4:53:59 AM EDT
[#9]
I think it's a combination of the situation typified by Big Bear's joke and the fact that men and women communicate in two different languages.
Men say things, and try to communicate information with the words that come out of their mouths. That's it. The dictionary meaning of the words spoken, plus a little basic seventh grade sentence diagramming, will translate the noises coming out of a man's mouth into the meaning he is trying to impart. Women, on the other hand, view words as mere vehicles for some deeper meaning. They spend a great deal of time trying to pry into a man's head and heart to divine what he really means by the noises that come out of his mouth. "I'd like some more macaroni and cheese," must be some sort of value judgement on the person who prepared the mac and cheese or a judgement on the mac and cheese preparation skills of the woman hearing those noises. What women fail to recognize is that men only communicate on the direct, concrete, literal level. There [b]is no deeper meaning[/b] behind the words we say. It's like a cryptographer trying to decipher the meaning of a bowl of Alpha-Bits. Hey, it's just breakfast cereal, and it's getting soggy so get outta my way. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 4:57:45 AM EDT
[#10]
Quoted: They don't like sex. You are [b]kidding[/b] us, right? Man, you have had some bad experiences if that's the conclusion you've arrived at. Makes me feel really thankful, actually. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 5:12:10 AM EDT
[#11]
Quoted: Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)] Or they get a wedding ring on their finger. Either way, daddy ain't getting none. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 5:19:13 AM EDT
[#12]
I remember seeing a picture of some super model with the caption "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! And most men and women have the same problem, we choose poorly. But then if more women were like Miss_Magnum, at least I would be happier. Ron |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 7:26:38 AM EDT
[#13]
Quoted: Quoted: Don't women realize that if they are even moderately attractive, they can go anywhere and have their pick from all the single guys and roughly half the married guys too? Sure.. if you want just [i]any[/i] guy.. strangely enough, we're looking for one that we enjoy being with. And not all women hate sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than the men I've been with. Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)] I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring. I've been in sales of one kind or another for 20+ yrs., and as soon as 90% of the women I've dealt with see my ring and the fact that I'm not hitting on them, start to hit on me. They love a challenge and are surprised for the most part when some guy treats them just like another person instead of another p***y. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 7:30:21 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted: They don't like sex. It really is that simple. Just ask my wife. She doesn't like it - it is a constant cause of contention in our house (and I'll probably get skinned for this post alone). Seriously - if I had known then what I know now about her, I probably would have passed her by. But she was/is soooo good lookin' [:)] That's why you, um, check under the hood before you buy the car, right? |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 7:31:42 AM EDT
[#15]
Jarhead_22 got it right.
And that's all I'm sayin'. [:D] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 8:01:42 AM EDT
[#16]
i can't say about wemen... but this guy is single because..
1) i have never met a girl who is singlew and interested in the same things as me. 2) when i am not working, sleeping, or running around trying to pay bills, i am here, so i have no time / money for them.. 3) i dont drink, so i have no life (personally or otherwise). no way to find em. 4) the "one" for me will have to be,,,,,,,well,,,,,, like me. unattached with no emotional baggage, no kids (absolutely no risk of that here[;)]), and big time into guns, and survivalism. so there you have it, i am single and if there is a woman out there like tis for me, ill go almost anywhare.. (kalifornia, and other states exempted) |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:18:33 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted: ... "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! ... Aint that the truth! I just broke up with my GF a couple days before X-Mas. Man, was she gett'n on my LAST DAMN NERVE!! Beautiful woman, I'd say one, if not THE best looking woman I've ever been with. But I cannot stand her arse, and I don't see how anyone else could either after getting to know her. Everything is fine with her (at first). Until she gets comfortable with you, and the real her comes out. Stand-by when that happens... [Edited because of dyslexia] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:27:45 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism. Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"? |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:28:13 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted: I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring. So far as the growth of the human race, yes we're now living (mostly) outside the cave but I believe we still stand in the cave's shadow. The need for a capable/protective mate has not disappeared. [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:29:56 AM EDT
[#20]
Quoted: Quoted: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism. Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"? Obviously to the human race as a whole the answer must be yes. However, individually we still have a choice. [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:30:47 AM EDT
[#21]
From what I've seen, women suffer from biology. They chase after "dominant/alpha male" guys regardless of whether or not those men would actually make them happy, and they tend (imho, both because of biology and social conditioning) to tend away from solving their problems themselves, hoping others will do so for them.
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:31:37 AM EDT
[#22]
I don't know where you guys are finding these girls that don't like sex, that goes against almost every girl I have dated. Not that I am any good at it.
Tell her to quit trying to force her opinion and rules down every guys throat, and be pleasant for a change. Its about being able to be nice and talk about things other than ME. Let her know that her attitude is scaring guys off because she is too whinny. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:32:25 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: Quoted: ... "No matter how hot she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit"! ... LAST DAMN NERVE!! ET3, any womens on your ship ???? [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:34:52 AM EDT
[#24]
Quoted: I don't know where you guys are finding these girls that don't like sex, that goes against almost every girl I have dated. I would feel a whole lot better if this response wasn't from a guy named "ICE." [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:35:40 AM EDT
[#25]
Yes... there still are some who haven't gotten pregnant and transfered to shore duty (yet).
(I hear many still talking about it.) |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:35:44 AM EDT
[#26]
Quoted:
Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)] Stop getting their what? I am a patient man, and I am an understanding person. My wife doesn't work, I pay for someone to come and clean the house, I pull down a fairly large salary, so bills aren't a problem, I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does, so how am I failing to ensure that she "gets hers"? (I don't mean to sound belligerent - I'm just very frustrated... in more ways than one) - I mean, I'm not perfect, but I would say that I'm a long shot better/faithful/nice-guy/etc... than most (and, yes, I do love my wife, very much) Jarhead_22 has it right - up to a point - the other side of that story is that they then expect us to be able to decipher what they mean - because they [b]do[/b] tend to talk in standard words, but have further meaning. To them, Macaroni and Cheese, means that [b]and[/b] something else - and that something else doesn't mean the same thing every time, either a3kid - I kid you not... I feel like someone stranded in the desert at times, not knowing where or when my next meal or drink will come from. Well, I really don't want to sound like a whining idiot, but the holidays just seem to bring out the argument on this issue and I guess I needed to vent - thanks. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:40:48 AM EDT
[#27]
5subslr5,
Thanks |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:41:56 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted: 5subslr5, Thanks [:D] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:42:44 AM EDT
[#29]
Quoted: Quoted: I think women have a genetic code which directs them to mate with the man most capable of providing a secure life for them and their future offspring. So far as the growth of the human race, yes we're now living (mostly) outside the cave but I believe we still stand in the cave's shadow. The need for a capable/protective mate has not disappeared. [smoke] Yes. I should have typed "most" women. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:47:27 AM EDT
[#30]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: ...and big time into guns, and survivalism. Isn't procreation the ultimate "survival"? Obviously to the human race as a whole the answer must be yes. However, individually we still have a choice. [smoke] DITTO.. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:48:26 AM EDT
[#31]
When I was single, I was very successful (read promiscuous) with women. The biggest reason women shy away from men, in my experience, is that SO MANY guys act desperate and needy. "Bill" on "King of the Hill" is an only slightly exagerated example.
I, on the other hand, always bore myself with an air of self-confidence and made it clear in a nonverbal way that "I don't need to go home with you, honey, plenty more here equipped just like you." As a result, I never lacked for female company. Most men, on the other hand, tended to regard me as an arrogant a$$hole. I'm exactly the guy they meant when they turned to their buddy on the stool next to them and whined "Why do women always pick the biggest a$$hole in the room to go home with?" Get a clue, gentlemen. Women want a man when they want a man. If they want a whimpering baby, they'll give birth to one. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:52:32 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted: ...... expect us to be able to decipher what they mean - because they [b]do[/b] tend to talk in standard words, but have further meaning. To them, Macaroni and Cheese, means that [b]and[/b] something else - and that something else doesn't mean the same thing every time, either Well, you just proven that you're smarter than most of us ! You recognize the existence of a "female" language far more complez than even English. (English example: Since, sense, cents, etc., complex and difficult to learn.) Now you walk into your "crib" and ask your "hide" how's everything going ? The "hide" answers.."Fine." Now the communications problems start. "Fine" may mean .."I'm ready to screw your brains out and then let's order Chineese. "Fine" may mean you're fifteen minutes late scumbag if you want to eat you'd better order Chinese. Finally, admittedly unlikely but still possible, "Fine" might mean fine - but I doubt it ! [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:57:32 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: Quoted: Women will stop being interested in sex, however, if their lover isn't making sure they get theirs. [;)] Or they get a wedding ring on their finger. Either way, daddy ain't getting none. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 9:58:44 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted: I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!" |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:01:57 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: Women want a man when they want a man. If they want a whimpering baby, they'll give birth to one. Teehee... funny, but very true. Quoted: Now the communications problems start. They started a while back ago, and I'm tired of trying to decipher them and to read facial expressions to see how she feels. Damnit, how in the hell are we supposed to know what kinda mood shes in if she doesn't say sh!t and she looks like she always does, regardless if she's happy or angry. (I need to stop because you've hit a nerve.) [Edited because I wrote like I was writing to her.] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:03:28 AM EDT
[#36]
Jarhead, you are exactly right. Problem is, your answer was incomplete. Don't forget that when you say something, there is also HOW you say it... your tone, the expression on your face, if you use your hands when you talk. They see all of that plus hear what you are saying and will come up with the most absurd conclusion (to men, anyway).
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:07:30 AM EDT
[#37]
The big thing is that women expect us to be in tune with their feelings and maybe its just me, from reading some of your comments, its not, but I have trouble telling what mood I am in, let alone how she is feeling.
Just like what 5subslr5 said. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:09:56 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!" Hmmm, I see nothing that needs correction here. I don't cheat. I don't steal. And I don't lie. That doesn't mean I haven't been tempted to - or that I don't struggle with it, I do, but I learned quite a while back, in the long run, it doesn't pay. And yes, I enjoy it most, when she enjoys it |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:12:28 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: there is also HOW you say it... OMG, You done did it!! I told my GF once before we were going out to " And she says, "Your not my Daddy, you don't have to tell me how to dress. I know how to dress myself." I'm like, "Damn, where in the world did all that come from? Asking you to put on a belt wasn't an innocent request?" She says, "It's not what you said, it's how you said it." Just plain B/S to me. Little B/S like that is why we broke up. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:12:49 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted: Jarhead_22 got it right. [:D] Damn! Jarhead speaks the truth! |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:16:38 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: I don't cheat, steal or lie. I enjoy it most when she does jhasz, I'm going to allow time for your correction here !! (That "Hun" guy would not - much less "Velveeteer!" Hmmm, I see nothing that needs correction here. I don't cheat. I don't steal. And I don't lie. That doesn't mean I haven't been tempted to - or that I don't struggle with it, I do, but I learned quite a while back, in the long run, it doesn't pay. And yes, I enjoy it most, when she enjoys it To some illeterate jerk-offs such as myself your phrase might be read...."I don't, cheat, steal, or lie. I enjoy "IT" most when she does (cheat, steal and lie !) [:D] (Miss Ward (English teacher) might call "IT" an unclear antecedent.) |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:21:18 AM EDT
[#42]
I like women. Maybe thats why i put up with thier sh*t. :D
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:25:03 AM EDT
[#43]
Quoted: Yes... there still are some who haven't gotten pregnant and transfered to shore duty (yet). (I hear many still talking about it.) Now tell me SurfWar, is your Captain rated on how many females (as a percentage) remain unpregnant or......?(I'm new to this womens on ships bidness.) Have any of the "ladies" gone into bidness for themselves ?? If there are any female officers are they porking only other officers or........?? I probably missed this earlier but what type ship are you on ?? [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:33:11 AM EDT
[#44]
I serve on a large deck amphib.
I'm not sure if the Captain has to keep a certain percentage of females onboard or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. As far as women going into "business" for themselves, hell if I know. I know some of them are strippers on the side, but I've heard of nothing worse than that. Female officers are banging other officers (for the most part). There is only one that I can think of that is with the enlisted. I'll provide no further information than what I have already. I'll just let your imagination run from there. [:X*] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 10:51:49 AM EDT
[#45]
Quoted: I serve on a large deck amphib. I'm not sure if the Captain has to keep a certain percentage of females onboard or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. (I've got to believe there's data kept somewhere on how many women get pregnant.) As far as women going into "business" for themselves, hell if I know. I know some of them are strippers on the side, but I've heard of nothing worse than that. (Weel being strippers isn't all bad - if they're attractive.) Female officers are banging other officers (for the most part). There is only one that I can think of that is with the enlisted. (At least there's one without discrimination.) I'll provide no further information than what I have already. I'll just let your imagination run from there. [:X*] Nothing hedonostic - just a few more run-of-the-mill questions. No tongue-in-jowl - I'm just truly interested. Is yours a good, proficient ship - "E" material, very good....? Is the crew happy ? (Obviously I mean as happy as any crew gets.) As a group officers and enlisted are the females good, proficient sailors ?? Assuming that some females have reached the state of impregnation on the ship and to a person other than spouse is there any effort to I.D. the father ?? Not looking for tit-a-lation - just interested. [smoke] |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 11:01:50 AM EDT
[#46]
Gentlemen, (and I use that term in the loosest possible way [:P]) thank you for validating my conclusions and for completing my extemporaneous thesis.
It is absolutely true that: 1. Women expect us hang-danglers, who only speak the English language (for the most part), to understand them when they speak in that Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus bullsheet language they speak where "I'd like some macaroni and cheese" can mean either, "Why haven't you met my simple need for sustenance, you uncaring prick?" or possibly "Do I look fat in these jeans?" or even "Where are the truffles, caviar and champagne you promised me in the unspoken female code language the day we met?" 2. The way you say something and the circumstances surrounding the statement aren't the icing on the cake, they're the cake itself when women are listening in that language that only they speak. Asking "Are you done in the bathroom?" takes on whole different shades of meaning depending on where you're standing, what look you have on your face or whether or not you're wearing that sweater that really makes the blue in your eyes stand out. Accept it and move on with life or get yourself a [url]www.realdoll.com[/url]. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 11:07:20 AM EDT
[#47]
Keep lick'n that MEG'R and it will shock you...
Ok, I'll add one last thing. We are Battle "E" proficient, and we get the mission accomplished even though we are undermanned. It just means alot less duty sections than we would like, and more watches per person. Each person has to be that much more qualified because of it. And because of all those things, crew morale is low. But I believe that crew morale is low onboard any naval vessel except those floating cities that cannot ever seem to be undermanned. Little to no effort is made to identify the father of the "Sea-babies". Well, not that I can tell. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 11:17:32 AM EDT
[#48]
You guys just don't know where to LOOK. Try an Oriental or Latino, you can have your pick of literally thousands of them, with an ad that costs you $50 or so. If they get snotty after they get US citizenship, there are more where she came from. She will KNOW that, too. Just be careful about how much ANY woman knows about your business, and don't necessarily buy a house, new car, etc with her around, or even have a joint checking account. I have always maintained several "caches" of valuables that NO ONE but me knows about.
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Posted: 1/2/2002 11:26:09 AM EDT
[#49]
They don't like sex. That's not true. I've known some women who were much hornier than me. |
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Posted: 1/2/2002 11:28:40 AM EDT
[#50]
But if you marry a Latina be sure to sleep on your stomach! I've been divorced for years and live with a cat. The cat is good company but you still need a woman to take care of your primal urges.
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