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Posted: 12/18/2001 11:08:10 PM EDT
...Besides the Koran and a Krinkov?
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:12:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:16:02 PM EDT
Vaseline
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:21:58 PM EDT
Dildo and KY. Vaseline is too hard to clean up. Uhh, I mean, nothing...
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:22:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:26:35 PM EDT
Bug out to where? [:D]
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:37:49 PM EDT
I guess by now he's used his shaving kit and a cheap disguise. The Vaseline has been practically worthless since none of the camels care to have sex with him anymore. He's ditched the video recorder and the two-way radio and is listening to Stone Temple Pilots on MP3's.
Link Posted: 12/18/2001 11:47:37 PM EDT
All he needs is...an autographed picture...of...Hangfire and Kliton...uh...having a...um [i]gay[/i] old time. Plus some canned [green]plankton[/green],some evian spring water and some Rocky Mountain Oysters.
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 2:17:34 AM EDT
One of those blue long vail things, so he can disguise himself as a woman. After all he is weak, and the clock is ticking as the whole world is searching. Allah aint gonna save the country or government who is hiding him. Search and destroy!
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 2:44:53 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/19/2001 5:02:40 AM EDT by Kihn]
A pacifier and Calamine Lotion cause his tushie is all sore from the ASS WHOOPIN' he took. Think he is hiding under a Burka too cause all that 'noble suicide' talk disappeared pretty quick...just a little girlie man... P.S. on Fox they are saying that a Plastic Surgeon from Pakistan had a go at him about a week ago and that he may actually look more like a girl so that Burka thing maybe happening[:X*][:O][;)].
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 6:59:02 AM EDT
What's in Osama's bug out bag: 1 - Gideon Koran (stolen from the Kandahar Motel 8) 3 - clean turbans 1 - Krinkov.com LEGP survival knife 1 - battery-powered Braun electric razor (for emergency use only) 1 - copy of "SERE For Dummies" 1 - teddy bear 1 - autographed photo of Louis Farrakhan 10 - gold coins from the Franklin Mint 1 - chicken a la king MRE from 1985 2 - blank VHS tapes 1 - set of eyeglass frames with fake eyebrows, nose and mustache attached 1 - inflatable goat
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 9:36:01 AM EDT
Just Pepto-Bismol. LOTS of Pepto-Bismol.
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 9:55:21 AM EDT
Pin-up poster of an afghan women covered from head to toe.
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 10:00:06 AM EDT
His CIA paystub and Saddam's phone number.
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 11:20:00 AM EDT
Originally Posted By maelcum: His CIA paystub and Saddam's phone number.
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(Same song different verse.) Osama/Usama Bin has the phone numbers to all 759 of his brothers and half brothers plus the phone numbers to the top five in the Saudi ruling family. (Osama Bin....."By Allah, tell the King I want the 747 with the gold toilet paper sent not that-crapy-silver-drinking-fountain-you-can also-piss-in-727; and as for you brothers I need $10 Million from each of.........."
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 11:34:26 AM EDT
1 - Gideon Koran (stolen from the Kandahar Motel 8) 3 - clean turbans 1 - Krinkov.com LEGP survival knife 1 - battery-powered Braun electric razor (for emergency use only) 1 - copy of "SERE For Dummies" 1 - teddy bear 1 - autographed photo of Louis Farrakhan 10 - gold coins from the Franklin Mint 1 - chicken a la king MRE from 1985 2 - blank VHS tapes 1 - set of eyeglass frames with fake eyebrows, nose and mustache attached 1 - inflatable goat
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Renamed, that's funny! [:D][:D][:D]
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 11:44:29 AM EDT
......also a well paged through copy of "Hustler Barely Legal - Arabian Lovelies" a special edition....................depicting obscene and vile camel love............ and a half-gallon of Ramadan Brand Vodka............[beer]
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 12:39:03 PM EDT
a copy of playgoat
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 12:44:00 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/19/2001 12:40:16 PM EDT by CockedandLocked]
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 12:51:50 PM EDT
Originally Posted By CockedandLocked:
Originally Posted By operatorerror: Dildo and KY. Vaseline is too hard to clean up.
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And your explination of how you know this ?
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well minus the dildo and i can tell ya Ky is a water soluble. vaseline inst
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 1:03:39 PM EDT
Originally Posted By J_Smith: ......also a well paged through copy of "Hustler Barely Legal - Arabian Lovelies" a special edition....................depicting obscene and vile camel love............ and a half-gallon of Ramadan Brand Vodka............[beer]
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I would only consider changing "Arabian Lovelies" to read "BLOND American Broads" * (BAB's) - oh yeah the desert fanatics hate us all - especially good-looking Blond American Women - but that's who they want to have sex with. (While hating them all the time, of course !) (*"Blond American Boys"(BAB,z for those OTHER Tali's - I have good "Geraldo" information that says the national game of LEAP-FROG has been completely banned in one of them furin cuntries.)
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 2:00:43 PM EDT
cia paystu---aw crap ya beat me to it.... How about his cia get-out-of-jail-free card and his french passport......?
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 2:06:31 PM EDT
Lots of mags for his Krinkov and a few cases of "Wild Girls: Visible Ankles", including the great annual "Wrists Showing" issue from the past 5 years. Kharn
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 2:21:53 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Kharn: Lots of mags for his Krinkov and a few cases of "Wild Girls: Visible Ankles", including the great annual "Wrists Showing" issue from the past 5 years. Kharn
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No, No not the dreaded "Visible Ankles" version !
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 3:05:55 PM EDT
seriously? 1: a copy of the koran 2: his own journal for his notes on visions and insights into what alla wants him to do. 3: bank account #'s 4: a shit load of cash - ironically most likely us dollars! 5: pistol (blessed only to kill americans) 6: prayer shawl and rug so he can pray where ever he is 7: maps of the area 8: a grenade 9: encripted satellite phone 10: lap top to watch the war on cnn and see where not to be 11: palm pilot with all important phone #'s for item #9 he is a slick fish and my fear is he will slip away into pakistan and then from there he could go anywhere - most likely indonesia or borneo steve
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 3:27:41 PM EDT
I believe he actually may slip away for the time being, but he can't hide for very long. With a $25M price on his head, and being that he is in a region of the world where $100 is a fortune, he will eventually get ratted out. I think if we would do a little better job of letting the people in the region understand how much $25M actually is, it could probably help our cause. I read a story where most of the people didn't realize that it was a lot of money. Some Afghans thought $25M was nothing.
Link Posted: 12/19/2001 6:39:46 PM EDT
What's he got? A spy novel, a porkchop MRE in "Jamaican Sauce," an Ovaltine decoder ring, and plenty of dope. -------- To paraphrase Weezer, "You got your Arc Light raid, I got my hashpipe."
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