Gents,
I realize there are a few minor differences between message boards and organized crime: One talks endlessly about Zero Wing and how your scrubs just got owned by a roofle, and the other deals drugs, extorts business owners, and beat people up with baseball bats, but the actual structure behind your average Internet community discussion area is alarmingly mob-like.
You’ve got the fat-ass admin guy (Lowtax) with all the power whacking (banning) people who get on his nerves, the underbosses who do all the dirty work, posting everyday even if they have nothing interesting to say, the consiglieri who are well-known and liked within the organization, due to their amusing stories or massive porn posting, the hitmen with quirky personalities and gimmicky methods, and the foot soldiers who say “all your base are belong to us,” “LOL,” “me too,” and “YUO = FA*OT.”
Do you see what I’m getting at? Of course you don’t. What I’m trying to suggest is that forums should be more gang-like. Forums would be a lot more exciting if insulting the wrong troll or posting a lame joke caused you some sort of physical harm.
There isn’t nearly enough violence on the Information Superhighway. We’re far too safe online, there’s not enough risk. Sure, your credit card can get stolen, your phone number can be posted to alt.sex.people.freaky.weird, or your entire identity could be downloaded onto a floppy and held hostage by terrorists, but the only physical injuries you’re likely to incur are carpel tunnel syndrome or over-self-erotic-massage disease.
Someday, I hope the Internet is dangerous. I’d love to be able to walk around the cyberverse and hit some sucker in the head with a pipe-wrench, dodge Internet traffic on the virtual roads, and fall off a VRML cliff to my bloody and violent death. That’s the only way the Internet will make any money. People don’t want e-Coupons or e-Commerce or e-News or any of that junk, they want reality with slower loading times, animated gifs, and easier access to nudity.
And this, my friends, is a noble goal. Log on!
(My personal 'I have a Dream')
Cheers,
RG.nl