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Posted: 11/5/2001 6:49:11 PM EDT
[url]http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/index.html[/url]

Anti-masturbation group?! Real or parody?
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 6:54:41 PM EDT
[#1]
... require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate.
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Oh, it's real alright.
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 6:54:50 PM EDT
[#2]
Do you really have to ask?

God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 6:58:20 PM EDT
[#3]
I've heard some pretty odd laws preposed before.
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 7:17:59 PM EDT
[#4]
They even have a graph.  They must be serious [B)]

[img]www.ar15.com/members/albums/Stealth%2Fgraph%2Egif[/img]
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 7:37:47 PM EDT
[#5]
[img]http://ampland.com/humor/01/1105.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 7:42:53 PM EDT
[#6]
I was wondering why I've been feeling weak, depressed, uhhhh...oh yeah forgetful, and I can't see the monitor so well unless I get up real close.

[;)]

- CD

Link Posted: 11/5/2001 7:48:31 PM EDT
[#7]
Thats funny as hell! Ive got to show it to my wife tomarrow!

BKVic
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 8:00:56 PM EDT
[#8]
Thanks. Now I've got this picture in my mind of 150,000 people masturbating at once.But not in Texas.Of course when I think of Texas its a gusher!
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 8:11:10 PM EDT
[#9]
IT IS A DISGUISED JOKE!  One of the links is a site to ban dihydrogen monoxide (water).  Very funny site.
Link Posted: 11/5/2001 9:49:22 PM EDT
[#10]
Click on FEEDBACK at the bottom of the page! I'll still be cleaning snot off my keyboard at Xmas.

"Hey - I've got an idea: if we're going to check for male masturbation through urine samples, why don't we check for female masturbation by using police dogs that are specially trained to sniff fingers"?
--Maxwell Silver



Link Posted: 11/6/2001 12:06:13 AM EDT
[#11]
one of your links is to http://www.theonion.com/
since it appears you live in a cave periodically emerging to rail agaisnt whacking off you should check your facts its satire. they are making fun of people like you when they write articles like that. if you check it out this week im sure you will enjoy the article on "pornstars demanding to be fucked harder" moron.
---levar capricorn ([email protected])
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What?!?!?! You're saying The Onion is satire? Do you have any proof of that? I think you're wrong because everyone knows that by law satire on the Web has to be clearly labeled as such. Besides, I know that Herbert Kornfeld is a real person because he writes half the e-mail I get.
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The site links to this
[url]http://www.theonion.com/onion3625/harry_potter.html[/url]
article on how Harry Potter leads to Satanism.  They must be serious.

Oh, for those who want more religion in your lives, they also link to these way-cool Christian-message panties.  Nice models!
[url]http://www.jesus21.com/poppydixon/product/panties/panties.html[/url]

P.S. -- "Kornfeld" is The Onion's gangsta-rap CPA. [url]http://www.theonion.com/onion2907/i_am_a_bad_ass_2907.html[/url]
Link Posted: 11/6/2001 4:25:15 AM EDT
[#12]
The answer to the question "What Would Jesus Do?" is certainly not "Go on the Internet calling himself Captain Enema."
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LMAO!

I think it is funny to read all the people who go nuts over thinking that somebody might stop them from masturbating.


Link Posted: 11/6/2001 4:34:31 AM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:
The answer to the question "What Would Jesus Do?" is certainly not "Go on the Internet calling himself Captain Enema."
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LMAO!

I think it is funny to read all the people who go nuts over thinking that somebody might stop them from masturbating.


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Dude, I gots like a Konstitushunal right to whack the big salami.

Don't tread on "it."

Sex - the right the FF forgot to enumerate in the Konstitushun.

[rolleyes]

BUUUUUUAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!






Link Posted: 11/6/2001 4:43:08 AM EDT
[#14]
[img]http://homepage.mac.com/spacegoat/art.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 11/6/2001 6:33:18 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
IT IS A DISGUISED JOKE!  One of the links is a site to ban dihydrogen monoxide (water).  Very funny site.
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I didn't check out the rest of the site, too busy laughing at the main page.
Link Posted: 11/6/2001 7:34:49 AM EDT
[#16]
Control of Paraphernalia:
3. Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate.
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LMFAO! Thats is hilarious!
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 5:25:37 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:

Dude, I gots like a Konstitushunal right to whack the big salami.

Don't tread on "it."

Sex - the right the FF forgot to enumerate in the Konstitushun.

[rolleyes]

BUUUUUUAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
View Quote

LOL! Personally, I'm anti-masterbation, I thinks its a sin. But I'm not going to be forcing that on anyone. That's between them and God.
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 5:50:45 AM EDT
[#18]
2. Vote Republican. There are many Republican candidates who subscribe to the AFP Platform, but they do so only in private because of the controversy involved.
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Yup.
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 5:57:34 AM EDT
[#19]
Currently only about 5% of Americans don't masturbate.

How about a clitoridectomy for repeat women offenders?  Or a castration for repeat male offenders?

Hell if no one was allowed to pleasure themselves, there would be a bunch of Ill acting people walking around![:D]  That oughtta make crime rates go down!

So if you admit you masturbate you have a problem.  But if you say you don't then you don't know you have the problem?

I love these people,  they make me feel good about my own personal level of imcompotence.
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 6:41:29 AM EDT
[#20]
*fap* *fap* *fap*

so thats why i need glasses [;D]
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 6:47:46 AM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:

Oh, for those who want more religion in your lives, they also link to these way-cool Christian-message panties.  Nice models!
[url]http://www.jesus21.com/poppydixon/product/panties/panties.html[/url]
View Quote


Thank you lord for this meal I am about to receive!
Link Posted: 11/7/2001 7:03:10 AM EDT
[#22]
would i only have to shave my palms only twice a week if i quit???   Dick
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