Posted: 10/29/2001 6:28:26 PM EDT
[#1]
Thinking over our conversation later that night, I came to a startlingly frightening conclusion: It could have been me in that cast! What if I damaged my favorite shower-time buddy Mr. Hand? What if I had to bring in a lefty in the middle of the game to close it out? Would I be able to do it? So, being the forward-thinking guy I am, I immediately began a strict training regimen to prevent a lag in my sexual self-satisfaction routine (usually about once a day, twice on weekends and over breaks, just because I was back home on familiar turf). And it was hard. So hard, in fact, that it became an obsession. I went through periods where I had dreams about my testicles exploding because I couldn’t empty them out regularly enough. I would often spend a half-hour longer in the shower than was necessary just because I had to seal the deal. And then, one day, it happened: I became ambidextrous. It was one of the proudest moments of my life, to have worked so hard at something so important and to have finally succeeded. I proudly displayed my talent for my girlfriend, even put on a little humor into it as I straddled her (“he fakes right, drives left, shoots, sco-” , well, you get the picture). Oddly, she was less than impressed. Indeed, so less than impressed that I found myself single, albeit ambidextrously single, a short time later. Well, aside from learning never to do that again with a girl, there is a very valid point to my paper, and I say it in all honesty and with great concern for my fellow man: Fellas, if you’re can’t drive the lane with either hand, start working on your game. You really might need it someday.
View Quote This is something that I think every one needs to think about (women included). Can you "shoot" with either hand?
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