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Posted: 10/16/2001 6:24:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/16/2001 6:20:30 PM EDT by rugger]
I have a guy on my rugby club who's brother commited suicide this last weekend. He recieved a DUI on saturday and decieded that he wouldn't be able to be a police officer (life dream). He took his life with a shot gun. This person also lost thier father to cancer in August. Is there anything i can/should do besides let him know that I'm there for him if he needs anything? Any thing i should look out for? Thanks for any help, Erik edited- sp check not working.
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 6:29:29 PM EDT
Not much you can say. Tell him you're sorry, but don't over do it. Let him have his space, and he'll come around when he needs you. Watch for signs that he's in need of some support, and give it to him. It's always sad when one takes their own life.
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 7:09:47 PM EDT
Just be there when he wants to talk don't force it. The best thing is just having friends and family around if you need them.
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 7:16:40 PM EDT
I suggest you not bring it up other than a one time show of appropriate sympathy. He will talk if and when ready to someone that is close and around a lot. Be a friend, go and do together. Time truly heals. However, you never forget as much as you try. My father shot himself in 69 so I speak from experience. Good luck.
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 7:20:22 PM EDT
Also, remember that unlike his brother, most people commit suicide after they've determined things can't get any worse and get somewhat manic. Look out for him to get hyper ok quickly, which generally isn't a good sign. Other than that, just be there when he needs you. Little things like stopping by and asking if he'd like to go out for food or see a movie will do worlds of good, generally. But grief is a hard thing to conquer. Every once in a while I still break down about the death of my father, and that was 11 years ago. God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 8:45:18 PM EDT
Thanks for your words of advice. I'm sorry for any loses you've suffered, makes me realize just how lucky i am. erik
Link Posted: 10/16/2001 9:01:54 PM EDT
Theres going to be lots of wild unexplainable behavior for awhile.I lost my father in 1986 after a second attempt. The first attempt he hit a bridge doing 80.He spent 2 years really fighting depression and recovering physically. Second bridge he put the motor in the backseat after hitting a bridge abutment.My brother and I went out to the bridge. There was a hubcap floating in the water. We pissed on the bridge, and didn't shed a tear.He hasn't been in a church since the funeral.No matter how many years go by its still really painful.Some answers are just SO big that you have to put the questions in a box until you can get a face to face answer from God, who will dry every tear
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