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Posted: 10/11/2001 8:34:35 AM EDT
Someone sent me this at work......BERKLEY, CA (Reuters) - Citing a continuing threat to national security, Bush administration officials announced that the bombing of the city of Berkley, California, commenced earlier today. "In light of the expressed beliefs of a majority of the citizens of Berkeley, which most Americans find tantamount to treason, the President feels that he had no choice but to take action," said White House Spokesperson Ari Fleischer during a hastily assembled press conference. "The President realizes that this is a drastic step," continued Fleischer, "but, he and his advisors feel that this is in the best interest of national security and represents the will of the American people." Many Americans are appalled at the behavior of the inhabitants of the ultra-liberal northern California enclave. "I don't know how to express my disbelief that those who are so quick to embrace the freedoms this country provides are first in line to bash it," said Brian Stevens, 28, of Xenia, OH. Stevens' response was mild compared to many, especially those of people on the east cost. "Those bastards in Berkley should have been in the Trade Center," cried David Decker, 25, of New York City, "then they might be singing a different tune. That is, the ones who survived, unlike my wife and 3 month-old daughter." Indeed, A CNN-Washington Post poll showed that an overwhelming majority of Americans favored the action. 93% felt that Berkley was full of "leftist wingnuts with no conception of reality," while 87% were in favor of the bombing. 57% offered to drop bombs themselves. According to sources at the Pentagon, B-52 bombers destined for Berkley left Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana shortly after midnight local time. In the only known use of nuclear weapons since World War II, the first plane dropped a cold-war era bomb that detonated 8,000 feet directly above the sleeping city. A half-hour later, the second plane dropped a similar bomb that detonated at ground level. "The first nine-megaton bomb," said Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. Lionel Mandrake, "was to ensure that we achieved maximum damage and casualties. The second bomb was dropped to make sure that our opinion was expressed effectively. I'm sure that the people of Berkley, while they may not have agreed, appreciated the clarity of our message and our unwavering resolve." On the ground, some were apparently tipped to the bombing and tried to flee the doomed city. However, in the hours before the strike, California Governor Grey Davis ordered the National Guard to establish a fifty- mile perimeter around the area. "I have ordered that any citizens leaving Berkley be turned back. Should they refuse, they will be shot," said the Governor's office in a press release issued minutes before the first explosion. "In Berkeley, protest was a pastime, kind of like softball is elsewhere in the country," said a staffer in Governor Davis' office. "Their protests, which were often either protest for protest's sake alone, or a reason to get together, smoke pot, and try to get laid, were insipid and selfish. They had no clue what they were doing."
Link Posted: 10/11/2001 8:39:12 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/11/2001 8:35:12 AM EDT by mr_carbine]
"FICTION" DAMN IT! Anyway you should not say that,there is some guy in here called c-rock that thinks we are under attack from the gov. like that right now your gon'a make him pee his shorts.
Link Posted: 10/11/2001 3:48:28 PM EDT
Hey, screw that idea! I'm 10 miles or so east. The fallout, if not the heat, would get me for sure and then I wouldn't be around to care for my evil black guns. Who would care for my babies then?
Link Posted: 10/11/2001 3:55:03 PM EDT
Originally Posted By mattja: Hey, screw that idea! I'm 10 miles or so east. The fallout, if not the heat, would get me for sure and then I wouldn't be around to care for my evil black guns. Who would care for my babies then?
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Feel free to will them to me. Wash off the fallout and they're good to go!
Link Posted: 10/11/2001 4:01:37 PM EDT
Should have had Gray Davis agree to it ONLY if he had abrogated the SA ban in CA.... Pity Perata's house isn't in Berkeley- is it? (From Oakland, right?) B2s over Berkeley Buzzbombs over Pasadena Stukas over Disneyland! >:^D
Link Posted: 10/11/2001 4:54:37 PM EDT
Originally Posted By mattja: Hey, screw that idea! I'm 10 miles or so east. The fallout, if not the heat, would get me for sure and then I wouldn't be around to care for my evil black guns. Who would care for my babies then?
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Don't worry, we have some people we can trade to get you and some others out... ie. Rosie, Hillary, ect...ect...
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