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Posted: 10/2/2001 9:45:40 AM EDT
GOD BLESS AMERICA. [url]http://home.houston.rr.com/surrenderownz/auction.htm[/url] Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions: 1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking), 2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine). Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave. Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well. Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass. I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:00:41 AM EDT
Hmmm, I'd like to purchase this as a gift for a co-worker. Wonder if I could get him to foot the bill...[;D] Juggernaut
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:01:48 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:02:25 AM EDT
As attractive as that sounds, I'm gonna have to pass. Man, if you can get people to pay you to travel and all you have to do is give an ass kicking when you get there then you are truly a genius!!
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:06:51 AM EDT
Could I pay you to fly first-class and kick "Hanoi Jane Fonda's" ass instead of mine ??
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:20:53 AM EDT
Nice FAKE page Smeghead (if it's yours). THIS IS NOT A REAL E-BAY LISTING! Just an FYI incase it asks for a username and password to loginto Ebay with. Note the URL! It is NOT an Ebay website! If you do a search for the item number on Ebay it comes back as not found. Pretty funny though.... Av.
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:27:02 AM EDT
[url]http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1644358782[/url] They be real!
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:39:00 AM EDT
Question, Smeghead, why do you list yourself here as an over 230# fat ass and on E-Bay you are under a buck 65?? if you have nearly doubled your wieght overnight, then you have serious medical problems. And by the way, I am not interested, I am running about 50% in the scraps I have been in my adult life and do not need your help tipping the balance [;)] TRW
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:42:47 AM EDT
So far thats a pretty good deal on a good ass kicking.
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 10:45:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/2/2001 10:41:32 AM EDT by AR_Rifle]
Can I bid on this and send him overseas to Afghanistan?....I mean to Bin Laden's house?
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