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Posted: 10/1/2001 4:58:50 PM EDT
Personally I think Ralph Wiggum is pretty hard to beat, he gets some classic one liners. "I bent my wookie" or "I found a moon rock in my nose"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 4:59:40 PM EDT
Everything is coming up Millhouse!
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:01:01 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:06:02 PM EDT
"Booooobbbiieess" Homer Simpson
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:09:16 PM EDT
Homer Simpson: "Where Do You Keep Your Deadliest Guns" Gun Shop Owner: "Right Next To The Sympathy Cards." Homer Simpson: "Waiting Period !!" Homer Simpson: "I Can't Go A Week Without Shooting Something." Gun Shop Owner: "Let's See You've Been Committed, Are A Drunkard..."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:09:41 PM EDT
[size=5]DOH !!![/size=5]
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:10:04 PM EDT
My two favorites: "DOH!" - Homer Simpson. I use that one daily. "Excellent!" - Mr. Burns. God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:13:27 PM EDT
Ralph Wiggum "That's my sand box. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. That's where the Leprechaun is. He tells me to burn things."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:13:31 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:14:11 PM EDT
Ralph Wiggum-"My cat's breath smells catfood." Comic Book Guy-"Worst ______ ever!" Comic Book Guy-"That is a picture of Sean Connery autographed by Roger Moore."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:15:12 PM EDT
Least Favorite: Marge: "A Gun Makes You 17 Times More Likely To Kill A Family Member....." Lisa: Similar Anti-Gun Propaganda Marge: "I'm Leaving Until You Get Rid Of That Gun." More Favorites: Moe & Friends: "Freeze." After Pointing Their AWs at Snake. Snake: Complete Fear Moe: "You Are A Disgrace The NRA." Moe: "We'll Have To Remove Your NRA Tatoo"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:16:08 PM EDT
There are so many per show, where to start...........
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:16:39 PM EDT
Smithers!, no wait, Barney, no wait, the kid with the great laugh. There are tons of great characters, but who do you most closely resemble? I would say Homer for myself. D'oh.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:19:35 PM EDT
Marge: (trying to point out someone is homosexual) "I think he prefers the company of men!" Homer: "Doesn't everybody?"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:20:09 PM EDT
"If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I'd be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose." Detective Don Drysdale, Mall Security
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:22:56 PM EDT
Favorite Character? hmm, that's a tough one. But I have lots of quotes! Ralph Wiggum:"That's where I saw the leprechaun" Bart:"Right, leprechaun" Ralph:"He told me to burn things."!! My favorite episode is the commie one: At the UN: Russian leader:"The soviet union would be happy to offer amnesty to your wayward wessel" US leader:"Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up!" Russian:"Yahaha! That what we wanted you to think" He presses a button, and the sign that says russia in front of him turns to Soviet Union. They then show moscow, where tanks come out of floats, troops fill the street, peace signs are covered by the sickle and hammer, and lenin punches out of his glass coffin and starts walking away saying:"Must crush capitalism"! Same episode: TV:"The US naval reserve, america's 17th line of defense, bewteen the mississippi national guard, and the the Michigan League of Women Voters" Same Episode: Captain:"I'm a man of few words....Any questions?" Homer:"Is the poop deck what I think it its?" Cptn:"HAhaha. I like the cut of your jig." Homer:"What's a jig?" Cpt:"haha. Promote that man!" Same episode(I REALLY like this episode): As homer is leaving for the Navy Bart: "Dad, bring me back a torpedo" Homer: "No" Bart:" But flander's got his kids torpedoes!" Homer"THEN I'LL BRING YOU BACK A WEAPON OF UNIMAGINABLE DESTRUCTIVE POWER!" Marge:"Homer!" Homer:"Only if your good" he then whispers to bar:"even if your not." Earlier in that episode: Homer puts a donut into the reactor to make it bigger. 5 minutes later the whole plant is on fire. After burns pulls it out and homer yanks it he asks "Why did you do that?" Homer: "Its my first day" Burns: "Oh, ok. since I never saw you before maybe it is your first day" Smithers:" Sir that's homer simpson, he's worked for you for 10years" Burns:"What! Why did you think yo ucould get away with thaat? Homer:"Its my first day!" Oh man. that is just ONE episode. I got tons more quotes coming up. And this is all off the top of my head!
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:28:29 PM EDT
Too many to mention. Gun related: Homer- "Holding that gun in my hand made me feel like God must feel when he is holding a gun." or something close to that. President Clinton- "Well, I'm not a very good president." And "I've done it with pigs. Real, no foolin pigs." Favorite character of course is Homer. [Talking to his TV] "Teacher, mother, secret lover" Favorite minor character though has to be Gill, the salesman. "If I don't make this sale they're gonna take my thumbs." I don't know why, it just always cracks me up.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:29:29 PM EDT
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:30:01 PM EDT
Bart: "Why do I need shoes for church? Jesus wore sandals." Homer: "Maybe if he had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:31:25 PM EDT
There are MANY good episodes, that is true. But the real reason I started this thread is to see if more or less the episodes and quotes listed come from the older episodes or the newer ones, seems lately that the last season or so was pretty low on the laugh factor. Now Futurama, word is a fair majority of writers went to work on the new show and it really shows at times because Futurama manages to pull off some incredible stuff. Both are favorites though.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:34:05 PM EDT
The best..."Bees are on the WHAT, now?" H. Jay Simpson
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:35:02 PM EDT
From the tennis episode: Lisa - No dad, Oedipus Rex, it's a Greek tragedy about a man who kills his father and marries his mother! Homer - EEEEW!, who pays for THAT wedding?
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:35:34 PM EDT
Right after homer wrecks the car: Insurance adjuster: ok, this Moes you were coming home from, is it a business of some sort? Homer in his mind: "what ever you do, don't say its a bar" Homer out loud: "It's a pornography store, I was buying pornography" Homer in his mind: "hehehe" ********************* Homer: "everytime I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. like that time I took that home wine making course? I forgot how to drive!" Marge: "thats because you were drunk!" *************** Homer: "Remember son, in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get..."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:40:42 PM EDT
Homer(to the tune of the Flintstones song): "Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest man in history "From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree! ahhhhhhh" Another Episode: Homer:"From now on I'm going to tell it like it is. Marge, your getting a little chubby around teh edges, lisa you too" Marge:"Oh homer, your the fatest one here!" Homer:"You didn't have to tell it like it is marge!"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:44:09 PM EDT
Skinner To Bart's Parents: "Were Deporting Him" Military School Sarge To Bart: "I see you attended Public School so I'm going to assume your profiecient with small arms. I'll start you off on something more advanced." Then hands bart a Shoulder Fired Missle Launcher. Sarge To Bart: Good. 4 out of 5. But, you missed one" Bart: "Did I ????" as scene flips to Springfield Elementary and Skinner's Car Has been hit.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:45:32 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2001 5:47:42 PM EDT by raven]
Mr. Burns is my favorite. Barney: "Hey, aren't you that guy everyone hates?" Burns: "Noooo. Ho ho. I'm Monty Burns." "Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine WORKED, dammit!" From the Navy episode... Captain: Simpson, you're like the son I never had. Homer: And you're like the father I never visit. Family watching the movie "The Ten Commandments" on tv, Homer: God. He's my favorite fictional character. Ever notice the Simpsons is the only show on tv where they go to church, talk about god/religion, and make casually blasphemous comments? I love that about The Simpsons.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:50:07 PM EDT
"Is there a chance the track could bend?" "Not on your life, my Hindu friend!" MONORAIL!
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:50:51 PM EDT
Bart -"Snipers! Where are the Snipers!?" (One of the Superbowl episodes, regarding the halftime entertainment) Nelson Muntz-"Haa Haa!" (Multiple Episodes..)
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:51:07 PM EDT
Bart On Phone To Moe's Bar: "I'm looking for Amanda last name Huggankiss." Moe: Amanda. I'm looking for a man to hug and kiss. Bart looking through phone book with Lisa: "There's a good one" upon seeing a funny name. Bart: "I'm Bart Simpson Who The Hell Are You ?" This one appeared on T-Shirts in 1990 and the shirts were banned in Broward County Schools. Very First Episode: Milhouse: "I Dare You To Pull His Beard." Homer: "Bart !!!!" Homer: "Dad !!!" Tatooer: "Are You 18 ?" Bart: "Yes."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:52:22 PM EDT
Hugh Jass.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:54:48 PM EDT
Bart: "A 60. A D. Yes. I Passed The 4th Grade." Then Bart Kisses Mrs. Krabapple. After Reaching the outside... Bart: "I just kissed the teacher. Yuck..." Trying to spit.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:56:43 PM EDT
Oh, can't resist... "Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!" (Homer, Episode 3F08) "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" (Ralph, Episode 2F05) "Oh, a head bag. Those are chock full of...heady goodness." (Apu, Episode 1F01) "Oh, it appears I will have to find a new fortress of solitude." (Comic Book Guy, Episode 5F16) See snpp.com for more Simpson's info than you every wanted. JLS
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:57:50 PM EDT
From the episode where bart goes to live with burns: Burns to homer:"Get the hell of my porch!" Homer:"What are you going to do, send the dogs after em? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark at you they whoot bees at your?" From the Krusty isn't funny anymore episode: Song for the Canyonaro:"Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!" Homer to bird:"You see that's where your wrong pal! You can WANT a cracker, you have to EARN a cracker!" As teh bird stares blindly back at him
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 5:58:03 PM EDT
Teachers after Lisa steals the books: "How will we be able to teach without the books ?" Lisa: "I'm in love with Nelson Muntz." Homer: "No TV, make homer go something something. Crazy."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 6:29:54 PM EDT
"mmmmm...doooonutzzzzz"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 6:44:37 PM EDT
Homer in the front row of church looking back to the foyer: "HEY FLANDERS, UP HERE! I GOT US SOME KICK-ASS SEATS!!!" Homer to a coworker: "You can tell the boss that I am going out to the backseat of my car with the woman I love...and I won't be back for 20 minutes!" Barney: "Don't cry for me, I'm already dead." Groundskeeper Willy: "Now the kilt was for everyday wear. But when we went into battle, we wore full-length gowns COVERED in sequins." Mr. Burns: "Dogs, what loathesome creatures! Always sniffing and licking at your crotch. How would you like it if I did that to you!" Mr. Smithers: "If it were YOU, sir?" Ralph Wiggum (looking at Homer dancing in the stands with his shirt off): "Look daddy, that man has bosoms like mommy!" Chief Wiggum: *snort* "Yeah, I WISH!" Snake: "Alright!"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 6:46:10 PM EDT
Surplus Store Guy: "Elm Street has always been the key to Springfield. The Greeks knew it, the Carthiginians knew it, and now you know it." GunLvr
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 6:51:45 PM EDT
One of Bart's originals: I didn't do it, you didn't see me and you can't prove it anyway.
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 6:53:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/4/2001 3:43:34 PM EDT by LotBoy]
"Doh! Stupid fingers."
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 7:10:46 PM EDT
I can't believe no one has posted this one, but after Homer wins his soul back from the devil, the devil turns his heand into a donut. The family is sitting at the table eating, and Homer takes a pinch off his head and eats it. Marge: "HOMER! Stop eating your head!" Homer: "But I'm so TASTEEEEEEEE!" God Bless Texas
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 7:31:05 PM EDT
i love all the hallween episodes those are so funny anyway homer: "5 days but im mad now!!"
Link Posted: 10/1/2001 7:37:52 PM EDT
Nobody said they had to be in ASCII text - [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/doh.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/dohs.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/drugs.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/okbrain.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/doughnuts2.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/any-key.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/toilet_Homer.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/icarumba.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/haha.wav[/url] [url]http://www.mindspring.com/~steel_rat/apu7.wav[/url]
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 4:37:45 AM EDT
Don't forget the three legitimate reasons for owning a gun as stated by Krusty: 1)For ???? [HELP I CAN'T REMEMBER THIS ONE] 2)For shooting dangerous or delicious animals 3)For keeping the king of England out of your face.
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 4:43:47 AM EDT
Homer: "I'm going to replay the game with implied oral conscent, not expressed written conscent!" That one gets me everytime... Everyone go out and buy the Simpsons Season 1 DVD. It's awesome!! Ian
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 1:12:42 PM EDT
I can't believe you guys missed this one: woman: "Did something crawl down your throat and die?" barney: "It didn't die!"
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 2:45:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/2/2001 2:45:42 PM EDT by mcgredo]
Sideshow Bob, the evil, literate Republican. "I'll be back. You can't keep the democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets with all my criminal buddies!" "...deep down inside you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals and rule you like a King!"
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 3:01:22 PM EDT
Makarov, the first one is "They're for family protection"
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 3:07:54 PM EDT
The monorail episode Homer: "You can change your name to Homer Junior, and kids can call you HoJu!" When Homer accidentally cooked his pet lobster by giving it a hot bath Homer crying and eating "and he's so sweet and tasty! please pass the butter"
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 3:10:06 PM EDT
Homer to Lisa: "You cant make friends with salad."
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 3:10:14 PM EDT
Barney Grumble is my idol.
Link Posted: 10/2/2001 3:31:00 PM EDT
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