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Posted: 9/29/2001 7:13:40 AM EDT
We were just laying there after what I thought was an extremely good shag. Then my GF announces "Oh, Nobby, you've just proved that size really doesn't matter one bit, not one bit". Well, her idea of a compliment has me feeling, shall I say, a little "gun shy" right now. To be more specific, I don't think I'll ever get a fukkin "rise" again. I'm just so depressed and thinking about breaking up so I can get over this complex I have. I feel so self-conscious. Now I see how guys who are going bald must feel. What would you do?
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:16:48 AM EDT
Dump her and tell her it is because she is FAT!
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:19:37 AM EDT
I think you should change you handle to "Stubby"
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:23:56 AM EDT
Oh man, oh man... Well, I think you should sit down with her and CALMY tell her that, although you realize she was trying to pay you a compliment, she really hurt your feelings and made you feel self conscious. Of course, if you two aren't "serious" then this is probably not the thing to do. From what you said, I don't think she is unhappy with "you." I would talk about the comment if you want but, it seems she is happy enough with your performance. Ok, I am trying to be supportive but, I know it sucks. It really sucks. I really don't know what else to say...
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:25:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By a3kid: I think you should change you handle to "Stubby"
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Now, that's just not right, "a 3" kid."
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:27:14 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2001 7:28:26 AM EDT by a3kid]
Ya gotta keep a your sense of humor. After all, you've only got what you've got...... edited to add: Man, I would [b]never[/b] tell a story like that on this board. Hell, - I'm one of the nicer ones here. Wait 'til the animals ('er, I mean "night crew") sees this...
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:31:56 AM EDT
Maybe I should've add this to my last post:[:D] No offense a3kid, was just trying to be funny...
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:32:40 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:33:04 AM EDT
None taken. [beer]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:34:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2001 7:34:38 AM EDT by a3kid]
Originally Posted By Waldo: Should have said "Thank God, I didn't really think I could do that ax wound of yours any good with it"
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Now [b]THAT[/b] is too damned funny. LMAO!! You could always offer to shove in a ham and pull out the bone first before next time...
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:37:17 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2001 7:40:28 AM EDT by Scratch]
"Stubby!" LMAO!! tears and all! Wife is even looking at me funny right now Sorry nobby You could try the herbal remedy. Wasn't someone on the board going to give us an update on it. While drinking beers with the neighbors last night, He was telling of a time a woman came up to his pard and said "I heard you were HUNG!" She had a evil gleem in her eye and all! He turned and said,"No, sorry, it's just standard issue." Here's a toast to all those with "just" the standard issue.[beer] SCratch
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:38:36 AM EDT
Now that is f*ckin funny! Remember that joke? "What are you doing in here? Looking for the keys to my truck!" (or something like that...)
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:41:50 AM EDT
According to several medical journals "average" is 5.25 inches. How would she know that? Has she been with enough guys to confirm that figure personally? The ancient Indian book of sex, The Kama Sutra, says there are three kinds of men and women. Elephant, deer and rabbit. Does she resemble an elephant? I say she's a thoughtless cow. Move on.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:46:08 AM EDT
Maybe this would have been an appropriate response: "That's funny, you're the first one ever to complain....."
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:46:30 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:49:24 AM EDT
Or none of my others have ever complained maybe your just much looser (uh I mean stretched out) than they were.[peep] Scratch
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:50:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:52:00 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Paul: There is more than one port to anchor a ship in - try one of the other two harbors that spring to mind and see if she still feels that way!
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There ya go!! Next time flip 'er over & see what she has to say. [sex]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:52:35 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 7:55:20 AM EDT
[url]http://www.2020tech.com/mensurg/[/url]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:00:09 AM EDT
well my take on it is, she thought it was a good experience. it was obviously a complement with a bit of sarcasm mixed in. Id blow it off. I dont think its somthing to break up over. If she didnt think you were up to the job its a safe bet you wouldnt have got into her pants in the first place. if your so bent up over it grab a couple of friends have a guys nite out and make a pilgramage to the nudie bar. Nothing like big breasted womenz polishin da pole to set your compass straight again.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:01:41 AM EDT
Hey man, this hurts bad. No, really. There's a Gun show in Macon next weekend. For therapy, I'm going to buy a 20" barrel to replace the 16" one I have on my AR. I appreciate the humorous support. But I can't help fading in and out of depression about it.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:04:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TRW: [url]http://www.2020tech.com/mensurg/[/url]
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I may have to look into this. Did you find it helpful?
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:04:42 AM EDT
How about, "Yeah, and I thought breasts made a woman, but you really proved me wrong!"
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:04:48 AM EDT
What are you depressed about?????? Sounds like she liked what you did for her & she'll be back for more. The ones that you [b]don't[/b] satisfy, now those are the ones to be depressed about. (I've [i]heard[/i] excessive alcohol consumption can cause erectile dysfunction....)
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:06:14 AM EDT
Originally Posted By TRW: [url]http://www.2020tech.com/mensurg/[/url]
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I've always heard that procedure referred to as an "addadicktome"...
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:11:53 AM EDT
When she start's hollering [size=4]Deeper! Deeper![/size=4] The correct response is to holler[size=5]Tighter! Tighter![/size=5] You could also vary your, uh, technique! From the [i]Kama Sutra[/i], you might discover some other positions. I have always favored 'the Attack of the Crazed Weasel' position. Eric The(OrIsIt'[u]Undersized[/u]CrazedWeasel'?Hmmm)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:14:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2001 8:19:11 AM EDT by 95thFoot]
Originally Posted By nobby: Hey man, this hurts bad. No, really. There's a Gun show in Macon next weekend. For therapy, I'm going to buy a 20" barrel to replace the 16" one I have on my AR. I appreciate the humorous support. But I can't help fading in and out of depression about it.
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You did nothing wrong- don't beat yourself up about it, although a remark such as hers would depress anybody. She's tactless. This indicates serious self-centeredness. I would NEVER say anything equally tactless to my wife nor would I have to any previous girlfriends. There is a certain line one does not cross and all people, unless they are emotional cripples, know this by the time they are teenagers, unless they are trying to play games, or are just plain stupid. Of course, you are known by the company you keep- who wants to hang out with stupid, self-centered people? She said it to you in private. Heaven forfend, what she might say to you in public sometime.... Dump her like a bad habit. She did you a favor by showing early on what kind of person she is. You owe her nothing, other than, "Sorry, I don't think it's going to work out with us", and that's that. No romantic, gentlemanly gestures- they send confusing messages. Over and out- literally. Move on. There are many other better, kinder women out there than this one- you deserve better.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:16:26 AM EDT
I bet if you pumped her in her "REAR" she wouldnt say that!!! Plus you can find out what shes REALLY into - If you dont try you generally dont get. [}:D}
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:19:31 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/29/2001 8:18:49 AM EDT by raven]
First of all nobby....OUCH! Next of all.... [url]www.drjoelkaplan.com[/url]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:22:58 AM EDT
Ask her if she thinks her breasts will always remain so small or if when she has kids they'll grow to a more normal size before sagging to her waistline.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:35:26 AM EDT
You could ask LordTrader for his website www, the one that tells which penis pump works better for him.....
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:38:57 AM EDT
Originally Posted By nobby:
Originally Posted By TRW: [url]http://www.2020tech.com/mensurg/[/url]
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I may have to look into this. Did you find it helpful?
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I did find it helpful. I had an 8" length and a 5" girth and got it upsized to 10" and 5.5" girth. Now I really can feel her tonsils when I "go deep". (just kidding)
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 8:44:22 AM EDT
You should have told her that you could not take all the credit for it being good; That one time she almost moved her hips really helped. But seriously I can relate to what you are saying. Mine is pretty long but not much bigger around than a beer can.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:13:06 AM EDT
I was once with a woman who as she lay on the bed naked looking & watching me undress, suddenly says "Who do you think you're gonna satisfy with THAT?" I simply replied ME!!!!!! [rolleyes]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:17:06 AM EDT
I'll admit it. I'm only 5 inches myself. The thing is though, a lot of women like it that wide. [shock]
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:18:11 AM EDT
Originally Posted By btip: I was once with a woman who as she lay on the bed naked looking & watching me undress, suddenly says "Who do you think you're gonna satisfy with THAT?" I simply replied ME!!!!!! [rolleyes]
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Amen, Brother. Tachyon
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:37:52 AM EDT
I am one who believes ya got whatcha got, and do the best with what you have. If she has a problem with that, then pitch the bitch. I sure as hell wouldn't let yourself get depressed about it. Who farkin' cares if you've got the biggest schlong or not. Sounds like you rocked her world, and if she can't appreciate, I'm sure there are many many women out that would love to. But cripes man, you are what you are, it aint how big you are that counts. It how many neighbors you can wake up proving you know how to use what God gave ya'
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:39:14 AM EDT
Nobby, I don't know how [b]long[/b] you and your girlfriend have been together, but she needs to realize that each and every man has some type of [b]short[/b]coming. Comments such as your girlfriends, no matter how [b]unimportant[/b] or [b]minute[/b] they may seem to her, can have at a [b]minimum[/b], a [b]small[/b] but lasting effect on the [b]tiny[/b] male ego. You need to inform her of your feelings, and make sure she knows that even the [b]tiniest[/b] comment, even deemed [b]petty[/b] by her, shows her [b]limited[/b] knowledge of a relationship built on mutual respect. [b]insignificant[/b] as it may seem, this is not a [b]trivial[/b] matter. She may say in response that this is [b]"minor"[/b] compared to other couples problems, but you tell your [b]petite[/b] beauty that some [b]sizeable[/b] damage has already been done. But most of all, try not to think about it. [:D] P.S. J/K, I say Dump Her! Kiwi
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 9:59:03 AM EDT
Check this puupy out. [url]http://www.longitudecapsules.com/[/url] Having only 3inches of manhood, I too get the "size doesn't matter" speech before and after copulation. After many years of hearing it, you get used to it and just learn to enjoy the moment rather seek compliments afterwards. Yes folk I'm a shorty and I'm proud.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:08:04 AM EDT
That is a low blow to be delivered. Then again I used to have a girlfriend who used to say to me that I needed to take off a couple inches and I am only average sized. Sometimes it is the girl.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:14:34 AM EDT
Next time you go "downtown" wear a snorkel mask and flippers and see how she feels [;)] [img]http://wsphotofews.excite.com/004/ig/88/DT/GU75276.jpg[/img] Kiwi
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:15:51 AM EDT
Turn her over and stick it in her a$$ and ask her if she would like change her opinion.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:17:13 AM EDT
Toss the hogette to the side and use the money you used to spend on her to buy a new gun.. Guns are more faithful and not one has made me feel bad yet..
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:18:07 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Matt_S: I am one who believes ya got whatcha got, and do the best with what you have. If she has a problem with that, then pitch the bitch. I sure as hell wouldn't let yourself get depressed about it. Who farkin' cares if you've got the biggest schlong or not. Sounds like you rocked her world, and if she can't appreciate, I'm sure there are many many women out that would love to. But cripes man, you are what you are, it aint how big you are that counts. It how many neighbors you can wake up proving you know how to use what God gave ya'
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Exactly. Getting upset about what you got (or don't got) doesn't get you anywhere - you can't change it. You play the hand you're dealt the best you can...and by her compliment (however backhanded it may be) she seems to think you're doing fine.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:22:33 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:37:42 AM EDT
I know how it sounds, but think about it. Your GF was "trying" to give you a compliment that didn't come out right. Try not to think about what she said but focus on what she was trying to say. After all, she is not with you because you are a giant, she actually cares about you and probably loves you. Having a GF and one who loves you is not such a big problem.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 10:53:00 AM EDT
You could also play along with her insensitivity by making even more fun of yourself so that she'd have no where to go. "My penis is so short that I've decided to nick name it 'innie'." "...whenever I get excited by you I get a stomach ache!"
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:31:03 AM EDT
Originally Posted By SgtKiwi: Nobby, I don't know how [b]long[/b] you and your girlfriend have been together, but she needs to realize that each and every man has some type of [b]short[/b]coming. Comments such as your girlfriends, no matter how [b]unimportant[/b] or [b]minute[/b] they may seem to her, can have at a [b]minimum[/b], a [b]small[/b] but lasting effect on the [b]tiny[/b] male ego. You need to inform her of your feelings, and make sure she knows that even the [b]tiniest[/b] comment, even deemed [b]petty[/b] by her, shows her [b]limited[/b] knowledge of a relationship built on mutual respect. [b]insignificant[/b] as it may seem, this is not a [b]trivial[/b] matter. She may say in response that this is [b]"minor"[/b] compared to other couples problems, but you tell your [b]petite[/b] beauty that some [b]sizeable[/b] damage has already been done. But most of all, try not to think about it. [:D] P.S. J/K, I say Dump Her! Kiwi
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I find your choice of words unhelpful at this time. I surprised you didn't suggest I change my name from Nobby to Nubby.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:35:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By nobby: There's a Gun show in Macon next weekend. For therapy, I'm going to buy a 20" barrel to replace the 16" one I have on my AR. I appreciate the humorous support. But I can't help fading in and out of depression about it.
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Too bad we can't just go out and buy a longer tool. Your in a tough spot. Learn to live with what God gave you because there aint no more coming. If you dump her now, prepare yourself for everyone she knows hearing about your "short comings". If you dump her later, they will still hear about it. You'll feel better if you just go get some strange and let the thing with her run it's course. Make a call on one of the ones you passed on since you've been with her, I know there has got to be at least one, we've all got a stand by. Don't feel so bad, in your pants is a bad place to keep your pride. No offense, let me guess, your under 25 years old? College age? You will soon learn that these kinds of things really aren't important and any woman who's worth shit don't give a damn how much meat your packin. Don't forget to tell her how great it is to eat her pussy when it's clean.
Link Posted: 9/29/2001 11:46:12 AM EDT
Originally Posted By nobby: I find your choice of words unhelpful at this time. I surprised you didn't suggest I change my name from Nobby to Nubby.
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Nobby, I apologize if I offended. I truly was trying to relay a little humor into the situation for you. Truthfully, if you love her, just tell her the truth, let her know how you took the comment and hopefully she will realize what you heard vs. what she said. Again, I am sorry if I offended you, I thought (perhaps a stupid thought) that you may get a chuckle from it. Kiwi
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