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Posted: 2/26/2001 7:34:00 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/26/2001 7:43:57 AM EDT by Aggie1]
[url]http://www.nationallampoon.com/article3defaultpar.html[/url] WASHINGTON -- After France once again lashed out at US foreign policy by condemning the recent air strikes on Iraq, Secretary of State Colin Powell issued a public apology to the families of the tens of thousands of soldiers that gave their lives, and to all Americans, for rescuing France during WWI and WWII. The contrite former General pleaded with the American people to accept the apology and move on from this misguided, charitable act. "It’s time that we take a hard look at ourselves and ask ‘what were we thinking?’" said Powell. Eighty-two year old former Marine Sergeant Larry Barnes, who served in France, applauded the apology. "It’s about time. We knew something was wrong back then. We saved this one French family who had 14 Nazi officers shacked up in their chateau… we came plowing in there and shot everyone of those Krauts. Then some elderly French Lady comes over to us with a bottle of wine and out of nowhere starts yelling at us for ruining her shrubs. I lost 12 men and a leg in that skirmish." Until recently it was generally accepted that Eisenhower’s decision to invade Nazi occupied Europe through France was absolutely correct. However with continued French condemnation, experts now feel Allied Forces should have landed at the beaches of Holland, and invaded Germany through Belgium, completely bypassing France. The victorious Allied forces could then have written a loophole into the German Peace Treaty allowing the Nazis to continue to occupy France while relinquishing all other holdings. According to scholars, the United States would have still won the war but more importantly achieved the greater objective, keeping the French from "mouthing-off for the rest of the century." However, some historians argue that a victory in WWII couldn’t have been assured without the images of euphoric American GI’s merrily marching down the Champs-Elysées. "I’m not sure that scenes of mildly pleased allied troops briskly walking through The Hague would have made the same impact. Support for the war back home might have ebbed, and made defeat a real possibility," said Brian Strong, WWII Studies professor at West Point. France which was "deeply offended" by the statement has requested the return of the Statue of Liberty, the Louisiana Purchase, and anything with the name Lafayette on it.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 10:24:31 AM EDT
[8D]
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 10:33:11 AM EDT
France, the land of short memories. Have we kicked those gutless weenies out of NATO yet?
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 10:46:37 AM EDT
The French ARE a bunch of weenies. Heck, even "French toast" is a soggy, sloppy, sorry mess. [}:D]
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 5:59:13 PM EDT
On my desk is a photo of two members of the FRENCH WAFFEN SS. French citizens who joined the SS. It is captioned "Our Nato Allies - The French." I knew I like Powell for a reason.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 6:10:07 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 2/26/2001 6:21:35 PM EDT by Sgranke]
I rember when those French losers didn't let our F-111 ardvarks fly over on our way to shut up our good ole friend Col. Kadaffi (sp?) of Libya.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 6:59:29 PM EDT
Originally Posted By M4: France, the land of short memories. Have we kicked those gutless weenies out of NATO yet?
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It would really be cool if we changed to "The 223 Remington, also known as the 5.56mm NATO, minus France." [sniper]
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 7:38:30 PM EDT
Ah, they're not ALL bad. The women are good looking, and their wine is pretty near as good as California's. I liked the Bikini. Anybody here old enough to remember the somewhat abbreviated "French Bikini?" I like the Foreign Legion, they can curse really well in Ukrainian, but they sing lousy in French. My daughter says "French people are horrible. They're all angry, and they have no sense of humor, and the men are really egotistic. Well, they do have phenomenal domestic rail service. But the roads suck. And their cars are really, like, small." There it is. Cool babes and swim suits, lousy cars. Crappy gun laws too. Next time, let's let them fight their own battles.
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 9:10:41 PM EDT
national lampoon? is this a joke article? the famas is a pretty good bullpup. the only thing i want from france
Link Posted: 2/26/2001 9:23:48 PM EDT
Originally Posted By libertarian: national lampoon? is this a joke article? the famas is a pretty good bullpup. the only thing i want from france
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Yes this is a joke. I found it from one of the news links from Neal Boortz's homepage. Aggie1
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