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Posted: 4/13/2006 11:27:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/13/2006 11:33:27 AM EDT by thompsondd]
A guy comes home from work, comes in the door and goes straight to his favorite chair and calls to his wife “bring me a beer before it starts”. She is somewhat perplexed at his actions but none-the-less takes him a beer.



A few minutes later he shouts out “bring me a beer, it’s gonna start any time now!” Now her curiosity is peeked but she takes him the beer and says nothing.



A few minutes later he shouts out again “bring me another beer cause it’s gonna start any second now!”



She can no longer contain herself. She gets the beer and marches in to him and says “I don’t know what’s gotten into you all-of-a-sudden! You come in and plop your butt in that chair without even so much as a hello, and start belting out your requests and drinking beer! I spend all day here cooking and cleaning and slaving away and would like some appreciation!”



He replies “it’s starting…”
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:55:10 AM EDT
That joke is funnier than the lack of responses would seem to indicate.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:56:01 AM EDT
haaaa, haaaa

I enjoyed the joke!
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:57:39 AM EDT
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and, by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady who, in turn, must have slapped his face"
(2) The fat lady thought -"That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
(3) Bill Clinton thought -"George put his hand on that blonde and, by mistake, she slapped me".
(4) George Bush thought -"I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again".
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 11:59:38 AM EDT
Dont quit your day job.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:00:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Chimpy:
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and, by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady who, in turn, must have slapped his face"
(2) The fat lady thought -"That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
(3) Bill Clinton thought -"George put his hand on that blonde and, by mistake, she slapped me".
(4) George Bush thought -"I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again".



Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:05:20 PM EDT
A+ to you both .... roflmao funny...
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:10:22 PM EDT
i enjoyed it.... my wife didnt
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:10:42 PM EDT
Those were good for two chuckles
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:10:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Kalahnikid:

Originally Posted By Chimpy:
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and, by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady who, in turn, must have slapped his face"
(2) The fat lady thought -"That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
(3) Bill Clinton thought -"George put his hand on that blonde and, by mistake, she slapped me".
(4) George Bush thought -"I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again".






Quite funny lol
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:28:36 PM EDT
Did you hear about the guy with five penises?

<­BR>



His pants--they fit like a glove!
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:32:48 PM EDT
The version I heard involved some Mogen David and nosh.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 12:48:20 PM EDT
A guy walks into a bar ...

Guy: "Bartender!! Give me 12 shots of Vodka... Quickly!!"

bartender brings the 12 shots and the guy proceeds to drink them as fast as he can.

Bartender: "Whoa there buddy, slow down."
Guy: "If you had what I had, you'd drink fast too."
Bartender: "Oh wow, what do you have?"
Guy: "Fifty Cents."
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 1:00:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CajunMojo:
A guy walks into a bar ...

Guy: "Bartender!! Give me 12 shots of Vodka... Quickly!!"

bartender brings the 12 shots and the guy proceeds to drink them as fast as he can.

Bartender: "Whoa there buddy, slow down."
Guy: "If you had what I had, you'd drink fast too."
Bartender: "Oh wow, what do you have?"
Guy: "Fifty Cents."




Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:11:14 PM EDT
Funnier than I thought it would be
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:14:51 PM EDT
What's the difference between an Irish woman and a bowl of jello?



A bowl of jello moves when you eat it.
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:20:43 PM EDT

Originally Posted By DOW:
What's the difference between an Irish woman and a bowl of jello?

A bowl of jello moves when you eat it.



Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:22:23 PM EDT
What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer, and a prostitute with diarrhea ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The oyster farmer has to shuck between fits
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:23:55 PM EDT
i've posted it here before, but:


========================================
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and
asks, What happened?"

He replies, "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Michael
Moore, Sean Penn and Al Sharpton. They are asking for a $10 million ransom.
Otherwise they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

<­BR>

"About a gallon."
=================================
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 4:25:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Sub-MOA:
What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer, and a prostitute with diarrhea ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The oyster farmer has to shuck between fits



Booo
Link Posted: 4/13/2006 5:02:44 PM EDT
Well, I am certainly glad that someone could post a funny joke in this thread.
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