Probably a dupe but it beats debating what height to build a wall around america (do we go 8' or 8.5' tall? - of course all the 9mm guys will say 8' will stop anyone in their tracks with proper wall placement and brick choice [in fact, some will claim that  8' walls, if properly built, will reliable expand to 8.5' walls] and the .45 guys will all say that anything lower than 8.5' walls are lame, wussie walls, not worthy of climbing and incapable of being an effective deterrent.  Don't even get me started on the 10mm guys - they want to go with 12' walls but if you ask me, they're compensating for something.

-mike



Subject: Tool Dictionary

Tool Dictionary
 
  DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for
  suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your
  hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings
  your beer across the room, splattering it against
  that freshly painted part you were drying.
 
  WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws
  them somewhere under the workbench at the speed of
  light. Also removes fingerprint swirls and
  hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it
  takes you to say, "Shit!"
 
  ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop
  rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
 
  PLIERS: A simple hand tool used to round off bolt
  heads.
 
  HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on
  the Ouija board principle.  It transforms human
  energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion and the
  more you attempt to influence its course, the more
  dismal your future becomes.
 
  VISE-GRIPS: Next generation Pliers.  Also used to
  round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
  they can also be used to transfer intense welding
  heat to the palm of your hand.
 
  OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for
  igniting various flammable objects in your shop.
  Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel
  hub you want the bearing race out of.
 
  WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older
  British cars and motorcycles, they are now used
  mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket
  you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
 
  HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an
  automobile to the ground after you have installed
  your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle
  firmly under the bumper.
 
  EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2 x 4: Used for levering
  an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.
 
  TWEEZERS: A tool for removing Douglas Fir wood
  splinters.
 
  PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbors to see if he
  has another hydraulic floor jack.
 
  SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a
  sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly
  for getting dog doo off your boot.
 
  E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times
  harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in
  bolt holes you couldn't use anyway.
 
  TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile
  strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
 
  CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large pry bar
  that inexplicably has an accurately machined
  screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.
 
  AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
 
  TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning
  booth.  Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good
  source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which
  is not otherwise found under cars at night.
 
  Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to
  consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate
  that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during,
  say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
 More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
  misleading.
 
  PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids
  of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil
  on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
  implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
 
  AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that converts energy
  produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles
  away into compressed air that travels by hose to a
  Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
  bolts last over-tightened 58 years ago by someone at
  ERCO and neatly rounds off their heads.
 
  PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal
  surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to
  remove in order to replace a $ .50 part.
 
  HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.
 
  HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the
  hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to
  locate the really expensive parts nearest the object
  we are trying to hit.
 
  MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the
  contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your
  front door; works particularly well on contents such
  as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles,
  collector magazines, refund checks, rubber or
  plastic parts and fingers.
 
  DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw
  across the garage while yelling DAMMIT" at the top
  of your lungs.  It is also the next tool that you
  will need.