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Posted: 4/11/2006 6:17:14 PM EDT
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:17:49 PM EDT
Fuck that call the damn police.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:20:49 PM EDT
Your neices and nephews?

Which would you feel worse about...sister in law getting into trouble, or one of your neices / nephews dying because of her stupidity?
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:22:10 PM EDT
The fact that you are posting here instead of acting says many bad things.

Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:22:44 PM EDT
swift kick in the ass
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:22:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Given that you know the facts, it is your RESPONSIBILITY to call the authorities and hopefully find a family member to take the kids if the authorities will allow..

How would you feel, god forbid they get hurt badly or worse because of a situation you knew about but did nothing?
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:23:24 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
The fact that you are posting here instead of acting says many bad things.




I agree, but honestly you think she is a terrible parent, look at for the kids they don't know any better. CALL DCFS.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:23:34 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
The fact that you are posting here instead of acting says many bad things.




Thats about what i was expecting.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:24:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Dude, fuck the authorities. Go get the kids. They are your family members. Why would you want them to fall into the hands of some foster parents?

If my sister was messing up her life and my nieces lives, I would go get them in heartbeat and raise them as my own.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:25:59 PM EDT
Whatever your version of Child Protective Services is should be called. Call the police first, CPS second and make sure the kids are yanked out of the house.

That's the mean guy approach.

Nice guy approach is to tell your bro that either he boots her out or CPS will be taking his kids.

My guess is that your bro is just as much to blame and the situation WILL get worse for those two kids unless there's intervention!
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:26:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tanam:

Originally Posted By Evil_Ed:
The fact that you are posting here instead of acting says many bad things.




Thats about what i was expecting.



Well, *Shrug*

You have a sister in law who apparently wouldn't know what a responsibility was if it bit a chunk off her ass and offered to sew it back on.

On top of that, she's apparently got a habit. What if she gets busted on a buy? Hello foster home for the kids.

So, yah. Time to call protective services. She, in my opinion, is not a fit mother.

Simply my opinion, given free. Take it for what it's worth.

Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:27:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Dude, fuck the authorities. Go get the kids. They are your family members. Why would you want them to fall into the hands of some foster parents?

If my sister was messing up her life and my nieces lives, I would go get them in heartbeat and raise them as my own.



To be precise, she is the stepmother, but since they are married, they ARE her kids. Im not sure i make enough to take on two more kids.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:27:57 PM EDT
Get the kids
Call Cops
Call Child Protective Services

(in that order?)
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:34:59 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tanam:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Dude, fuck the authorities. Go get the kids. They are your family members. Why would you want them to fall into the hands of some foster parents?

If my sister was messing up her life and my nieces lives, I would go get them in heartbeat and raise them as my own.



To be precise, she is the stepmother, but since they are married, they ARE her kids. Im not sure i make enough to take on two more kids.



I understand that. I feel for you and the kids. Its hard to raise 2 kids let alone 2 more. You kinda between a rock and a hard place.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:36:19 PM EDT

What if she gets busted on a buy?


What if she gets SHOT on a buy -- or goes to a buy with the kids in the back.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:38:39 PM EDT

Originally Posted By boltcatch:

What if she gets busted on a buy?


What if she gets SHOT on a buy -- or goes to a buy with the kids in the back.



She doesnt own a car
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:40:38 PM EDT
Some people don't deserve children.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:43:56 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/11/2006 7:13:58 PM EDT by Synister1]
Knock some sense into her. Stand firm on your disapproval of her current level of care for the children. Contact DFS if she doesn't clean up and notify them of which family member will house the children. Yes the costs would increase to take them on but there's ways to compensate. If you really cant adjust to fit them in seek out another place within the family. With other family in the area the children should never have to step foot into a foster care home.


I may be beyond broke but if my niece or nephew needed me they would be in our home that night and I'd work it out later.

I have an addict sister also Tanam. I truely expect that someday I will be taking my neice away from her. Right now my neice is safe since they are living with my parents.

Edit: I seen that they are her stepchildren. Then you need to ask yourself if you fell responcable for the kids too or should the husbands family be dealing with this situation.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:50:31 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 6:51:54 PM EDT
Most people only understand pain. If she loves the kids then losing them should be all the motivation she needs to clean up.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 7:04:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Tanam:

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Dude, fuck the authorities. Go get the kids. They are your family members. Why would you want them to fall into the hands of some foster parents?

If my sister was messing up her life and my nieces lives, I would go get them in heartbeat and raise them as my own.



To be precise, she is the stepmother, but since they are married, they ARE her kids. Im not sure i make enough to take on two more kids.



I understand that. I feel for you and the kids. Its hard to raise 2 kids let alone 2 more. You kinda between a rock and a hard place.



I have to agree with ARDOC here. Go get them. at least you know they're safe until you figure out what to do. Hopefully, (not likely) the thought of losing kids will a reality check for the SIL.

On a side note, I couldn't afford my first child but we managed. I couldn't afford my second child but we found a way. We put ourselves into a position to buy a small 3 bedroom house for the 4 of us, and along came child #3 that I couldn't afford at the time. Long story short, we sacrificed and worked hard and are now in a good position. We're about to sell that little house and move into a bigger house on acreage.

My point is that it can be done. If you care for those kids, you can find a way to do it. I wish you and the kids the best of luck whichever way the situation works out.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 7:06:38 PM EDT
If it were me, I'd take the kids myself.
If something doesn't change now, these kids will just be drags on society themselves.
call the police, get child welfare involved
Document EVERYTHING
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 9:34:04 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Tanam:
She lives in someones basement with her husband.



Your sister-in-law + her husband = your brother, right? Does he have any say in this situation?


She likes to sleep well into the afternoon

which is fine, if you're working all night, but somehow I don't think that's the case here...


while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.


Do these kids have any other family that might take them in? If they grow up in this environment...

Foster care is a mixed bag. Some of the best (want to help kids) and worst (want to collect a pay check) people are foster parents. Your the man on the scene, you're going to have to make the determination if they are in grave enough danger to take that risk.


Link Posted: 4/11/2006 10:47:27 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 11:31:49 PM EDT
Her name was Jade, I went to her station. I went to her station.
Link Posted: 4/11/2006 11:52:37 PM EDT
seriously, CPS and the police will just fuck things up more... taking the kids and giving them to a foster family(assuming somone in the family isnt deemed ok to take them) is just as bad as leaving them home... get yer wife to smake the shit out of her sister and let her know your family wont tollerate your nieses/nephews turning into fuckups like their parents. and be brutal about it...
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 2:12:30 AM EDT
I'd get a movie camera and film you flushing the drugs down the shitter and when she sobers up, I show her the movie and expain that it'll be the cops next time this shit happens. Also if she doesn't work nights, I wouldn't let her sleep all day. She might be staying up late to do the drugs.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 2:23:17 AM EDT
Dont call the cops you will get yor sister a record for some kidos playing int he pot. If she is doing it in front of them id call em though.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:12:22 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:15:00 AM EDT

Originally Posted By goodoleboy:
Dont call the cops you will get yor sister a record for some kidos playing int he pot. If she is doing it in front of them id call em though.



2 year old playing in drugs, even if it id "only" pot...no cool

She deserves to be held accountable. The fact that her 2 year old is roaming the house while she sleeps is a pretty big deal. That could just as easily be poisonous chemicals from under the sink or rat poison in the basement. Something needs to be done before she has to bury a kid.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:16:27 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TomJefferson:
I'm going very blunt here. There are some children that simply don't stand a chance in hell. Their parents will screw them up. The system will screw them up. There is no family close enough or careing enough to take on the responsiblity to raise them. That's how we get screwed up people.



We need more family members willing to take care of kids instead of discarding them.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:17:55 AM EDT

Originally Posted By David_Hineline:
You are thier uncle, you take the kids till she and husband get out of jail and cleaned up. Why would they goto foster care when they have caring family like you?




Never invite the man into your home. Once you do, lives will never be the same.

Family must take care of family. Get the kids, tell the bitch to clean up. Be sure that the home owner will vouch for you on your behalf if the SIL calls the cops & accuses you of kidnapping. Take it one day at a time.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:21:17 AM EDT
Call them, i have an 18 month old, i fell asleep with him on the couch one night and he found his way to the toilet, i felt like such a POS, i cant imagine parents sleeping while the kids are playing in drugs.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:12:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By CS223:

Originally Posted By David_Hineline:
You are thier uncle, you take the kids till she and husband get out of jail and cleaned up. Why would they goto foster care when they have caring family like you?




Never invite the man into your home. Once you do, lives will never be the same.

Family must take care of family. Get the kids, tell the bitch to clean up. Be sure that the home owner will vouch for you on your behalf if the SIL calls the cops & accuses you of kidnapping. Take it one day at a time.



Paranoid bullshite. I remove children form homes regulrly for the same type of stuff. Family taking care of family is not always an option.

Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:16:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TomJefferson:
Inviting the system into a family never ever ever has a postive outcome. The odds some nice rich couple will adopt them is a billion to one. The odds of them being sexually abused while in foster care are much much higher. The odds it will cost your family big money and hardships is guranteed.
This should always be the solution of last resort with the decision based on a clear understanding that they are in a clear and present danger. Notice I didn't say welfare for the odds of them turning out any better in system aren't any better than being raised by a junky. In fact, most likely worse.

Ask yourself, have you done everything you can do? If not, then its a cop out to think making a phone call relieves your responsiblity and you are doing it just to make you feel better not make the situation better. If you don't have enough conviction to get personaly involved or take the children then in the long run everyone is better served if you just stay out of it. You don't strike me like that.

I'm going very blunt here. There are some children that simply don't stand a chance in hell. Their parents will screw them up. The system will screw them up. There is no family close enough or careing enough to take on the responsiblity to raise them. That's how we get screwed up people.

Sometimes in life its best to practice tough love and sacrafice your sisters love for now in order to save her and her children. A man doesn't hide from contraversy but confronts it head on. It's our lot in life. Its our duty to stand and face the battle not hire mercenaries to fight our battles especially when you know the mercenaries will turn on your family after the battle is won.

Get in her face bud and nail her to the wall. Don't relent no matter how heated your relationship gets. Blood is thicker than water and definately more than a few harsh words. Force the situation by letting her know the alternative is the system.

Besides doing some good, you just might get to beat the shit out of her useless husband. That won't solve anything but sure the hell feels good.

Tj




Big ole +1
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:19:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By deej86:
Get the kids
Call Cops
Call Child Protective Services

(in that order?)



Can't get more straight forward (and correct) that what Deej just said.

+1,000,000

Log off. Go. Now.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:19:29 AM EDT
These threads are always entertaining. Just like the "I saw a drunk guy at the range, what should I have done?" or "My house is on fire, should I call the firedepartment or try to put it out myself"
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:24:56 AM EDT
"I saw a drunk guy at the range, what should I have done?"

"My house is on fire, should I call the firedepartment or try to put it out myself"

ETA:

"My house is being robbed as I type this, should I draw down?"
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:32:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:

Originally Posted By Tanam:
Im wanting to beat her. She is such a fucking sorry ass. She lives in someones basement with her husband. She likes to sleep well into the afternoon while her 2 and 4 year old roam all over the house. The lady whom she lives with recently told my wife she went downstairs to check on them and the kids were playing with her pot,papers ect ect. Should i call protective services right now ? Give her a stern talking to and another chance ? Foster care sucks but im leaning towards that for her kids.



Dude, fuck the authorities. Go get the kids. They are your family members. Why would you want them to fall into the hands of some foster parents?

If my sister was messing up her life and my nieces lives, I would go get them in heartbeat and raise them as my own.



Bingo.

Use extortion... you get the kids and if she doesn't sign over custody, you'll go to the authorities about her drug activity and she can spend the rest of her adult life in prison.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:33:33 AM EDT
Get the police.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:35:52 AM EDT
CPS is worthless!! I called them on my sister when my Niece found METH and gave it to her daddy, she was 2. Thank God she didn't eat it!

Want to guess what they said to that incident and her positive Meth UA, living with her Self Professed Murdering BF, blacking out and getting covered in black marker by said kids (entire face with sharpie).... Smoking meth around your kids does not constitute child abuse. But spanking does???

They said they would not do anything unless they are being physically abused.

I call now for every bruise and scrape I see on them, how many kids only get bruises and scrapes to thier faces and no where else?

Her BF tried to threaten me once for sending the Cops to his house to check on them.

"Don't send the cops to my house man, I don't like cops, don't make me take it up a notch!"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Nah, I'm just saying!"

That fucker is going down soon. I'm rollin on his ass first chance I get.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:48:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/12/2006 5:49:06 AM EDT by VoodooChile]
Going into someone's house and taking a woman's kids is an invitation to trouble..Best case scenario is she'll sleep right through it and call the cops when she wakes up..Worse case is she'll go to Drug Fueled Mama Bear mode and kill you with whatever is handy..Cops will be standing over your cooling corpse asking your wife why you didn't call the authorities..She'll be telling them some badasses on Arfcom told you not to..Cops will be laughing all the way back to the station house.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:51:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Hokie:
"I saw a drunk guy at the range, what should I have done?"

"My house is on fire, should I call the firedepartment or try to put it out myself"

ETA:

"My house is being robbed as I type this, should I draw down?"



Ooooo or the "someone said I could could by a full-auto M16 for $1,200, do you think it is unregistered?"

Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:35:31 PM EDT
Get the kids call the cops. There are some here that think that calling the police on family is the worst sin imaginable. It isn't. Knowing the kids died because you didn't act when you should have gets closer.


Protect the kids should be your first and most important concern. If that means getting the authroities involved so be it.

Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:44:59 PM EDT
The only way to get the kids from her without her permission is to involve the authorities during a dangerous situation. I tried to get guardianship of my nephew because my sister was wacked out on prescription drugs. She drove my nephews off of the road and rolled her Jeep. One had to be air lifted. She was under the influence at the time, but she sweet talked the deputy and she was never tested for drugs. I couldn't prove anything. She refused to sign him over, and my Lawyer wouldn't even touch it because she was the Mother and I wasn't the Father and she was contesting it. Without child services on my side, I had no chance.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 3:56:44 PM EDT

Are there any other family members who could get together with you to give her an ultimatum? Either she gets off the shit or have the police and CPS visit often. Let her make the choice, it's clear and then she can't blame you (though she will anyway). If there have been multiple ultimatums just call CPS but be sure there is some proof or you will lose credibility and the next step will be one of the kiddo's funeral.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 5:26:03 PM EDT

Originally Posted By oulufinn:
Are there any other family members who could get together with you to give her an ultimatum? Either she gets off the shit or have the police and CPS visit often. Let her make the choice, it's clear and then she can't blame you (though she will anyway). If there have been multiple ultimatums just call CPS but be sure there is some proof or you will lose credibility and the next step will be one of the kiddo's funeral.



Im thinking a intervention type deal would be best. If i go there and try to take the kids i will end up having to fight both of them. Im not looking forward to assault and kidnapping charges. She can really spin the bullshit and i bet the police would take her word i was in the wrong.
Link Posted: 4/12/2006 9:08:59 PM EDT
Send the kids to CPS, if you are in the market take care of them.
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