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Posted: 4/1/2006 9:46:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/1/2006 9:47:28 PM EDT by AyeGuy]
Before MTV and the ruin it wrought on popular music, before videos and boy bands and divas and (arrgh) Hip-hop, musicians used to depend on rhythm, ryme, and harmony...and LYRICS. Besides the usual silly love songs, some artists wrote some decidedly weird songs...here is one of my favorites:

ATLANTIS
Donovan

The continent of Atlantis was an island
which lay before the great flood
in the area we now call the Atlantic Ocean.
So great an area of land, that from her western shores
those beautiful sailors journeyed
to the South and the North Americas with ease,
in their ships with painted sails.

To the East Africa was a neighbour, across a short strait of sea miles.
The great Egyptian age is but a remnant of The Atlantian culture.
The antediluvian kings colonised the world
All the Gods who play in the mythological dramas
In all legends from all lands were from fair Atlantis.
Knowing her fate, Atlantis sent out ships to all corners of the Earth.
On board were the Twelve:
The poet, the physician, the farmer, the scientist,
The magician and the other so-called Gods of our legends.
Though Gods they were -
And as the elders of our time choose to remain blind
Let us rejoice and let us sing and dance and ring in the new
Hail Atlantis!
Way down below the ocean where I wanna be she may be,
Way down below the ocean where I wanna be she may be,
Way down below the ocean where I wanna be she may be.
Way down below the ocean where I wanna be she may be,
Way down below the ocean where I wanna be she may be.
My antediluvian baby, oh yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah,
I wanna see you some day
My antediluvian baby, oh yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah,
My antediluvian baby,
My antediluvian baby, I love you, girl,
Girl, I wanna see you some day.
My antediluvian baby, oh yeah
I wanna see you some day, oh
My antediluvian baby.
My antediluvian baby, I wanna see you
My antediluvian baby, gotta tell me where she gone
I wanna see you some day
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, oh yeah
Oh glub glub, down down, yeah
My antediluvian baby, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

******

I don't think this sort of thing will ever come back

Cheer me up! What is your favorite weird song that we have forgotten about?
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:48:18 PM EDT
"Black Betty" by Ram Jam


"Black Betty had a child....BAM-A-LAM....damn thing gone wild....BAM-A-LAM"
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:49:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/1/2006 9:50:24 PM EDT by Spade]
Misfits - Saturday Night



There's 52 ways to murder anyone
One and two are the same
And they both work as well

I'm coming clean for Amy
Julie doesn't scream as well
And the cops won't listen all night

And so maybe I'll be over
Just as soon as I fill them all in

And I can remember when I saw her last
We were running around and having a blast
But the backseat of the drive-in is so lonely without you
I know when you're home

I was thinking about you
There was something I forgot to say
I was crying on a Saturday Night

I was out cruising without you
They were playing our song
Crying on a Saturday Night

As the moon becomes the night time
You go viciously, quietly away
I'm sitting in the bedroom where we used to sit and smoke cigarettes
Now I'm watching
Watching you die



Or maybe "Last Caress"
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:49:32 PM EDT
"Lit Up" by Buck Cherry.
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:51:42 PM EDT

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
"Black Betty" by Ram Jam


"Black Betty had a child....BAM-A-LAM....damn thing gone wild....BAM-A-LAM"



Leadbelly did it first, and waaaaaaay before Ram Jam ever did.
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:53:38 PM EDT
King Missle

Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time.

It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.

I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,

or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.

But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,

and the next morning I can't for the life of me

remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.

So I called up the place where the party was,

they hadn't seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes

But not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party,

but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man,

and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house,

and calling everyone I could think of,

I was starting to get very depressed,

so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,

where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,

I saw my penis lying on a blanket

next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it.

I had to buy it off him.

He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off,

and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,

but I don't know.

Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for a while, then out]



Link Posted: 4/1/2006 9:58:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sling_blade:
King Missle

Detachable Penis

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover

And my penis was missing again.

This happens all the time.

It's detachable.

[background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

This comes in handy a lot of the time.

I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,

or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.

But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,

and the next morning I can't for the life of me

remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.

So I called up the place where the party was,

they hadn't seen it either.

I asked them to check the medicine cabinet

'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes

But not this time.

So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party,

but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate.

I really don't like being without my penis for too long.

It makes me feel like less of a man,

and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house,

and calling everyone I could think of,

I was starting to get very depressed,

so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,

where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,

I saw my penis lying on a blanket

next to a broken toaster oven.

Some guy was selling it.

I had to buy it off him.

He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

I took it home, washed it off,

and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,

but I don't know.

Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,

I like having a detachable penis.

[background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for a while, then out]






I remember this one. I was messing around with my cell phone and actually saw it available as a ringtone.
Link Posted: 4/1/2006 11:19:11 PM EDT
Showing my age but "Rosie" By Jackson Browne comes to mind. I had a girlfriend who really liked the song. She had no idea what it was about. Then I told her.



She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasn’t hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But rosie you’re all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- rosie that’s my thing
When you turn out the light -- I’ve got to hand it to me
Looks like it’s me and you again tonight rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
She’d come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that I’ve been burned
By now you’d think I’d have learned
That it’s who you look like
Not who you are

But rosie you’re all right -- you wear my ring
When you hold me tight -- rosie that’s my thing
When you turn out the light -- I’ve got to hand it to me
Looks like it’s me and you again tonight rosie


Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:03:45 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SubnetMask:

Originally Posted By JarheadPatriot:
"Black Betty" by Ram Jam


"Black Betty had a child....BAM-A-LAM....damn thing gone wild....BAM-A-LAM"



Leadbelly did it first, and waaaaaaay before Ram Jam ever did.



And a group called "Spiderbait" re-re-made it in 2004.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:09:23 AM EDT
Any takers for Lola by the Kinks?
----------------------------------------------------
I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [lp version:
Coca-cola]
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Well I’m not the world’s most physical guy
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Well I’m not dumb but I can’t understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Well we drank champagne and danced all night
Under electric candlelight
She picked me up and sat me on her knee
And said dear boy won’t you come home with me
Well I’m not the world’s most passionate guy
But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor
I got down on my knees
Then I looked at her and she at me

Well that’s the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Well I left home just a week before
And I’d never ever kissed a woman before
But lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said dear boy I’m gonna make you a man

Well I’m not the world’s most masculine man
But I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man
And so is lola

Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:48:45 AM EDT
Cheech and Chongs "I'm Not Home Right Now."
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 2:03:01 AM EDT
Right now it's "Vicinity Of Obscenity"
By System Of A Down
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 2:22:57 AM EDT
Dr. Hook - Cover of Rolling Stone
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 2:28:09 AM EDT
Frank Zappa - Dynah-Moe Humm

I couldn't say where she was comin from but I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said look here son, I got a fourty dollar bill says you can't make me come
You just can't do it.....

I ripped off her bloomers and stiffened my thumb and applied rotation on her sugar plumb
I poked and stroked till my wrist got numb but still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm...


etc.,etc...
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 3:14:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 3:17:05 AM EDT by Rodent]
88 Lines About 44 Women
by Nails


Deborah was a Catholic girl,
she held out to the bitter end.
Carla was a different type,
she's the one who put it in.
Mary was a black girl,
and I was afraid of a girl like that.
Susan painted pictures sitting down
****like the Buddha sat.****

Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory.
Cathy was a Jesus-freak,
she liked that kind of misery.
Vicky had this special way
of turning sex into a song.
****Kamala who couldn't sing,****
kept the beat and kept it strong.

Xylla was an archetype,
the voodoo queen the queen of wrath.
Joan thought men were second best
to masturbating in the bath.
Sherri was a feminist,
she really had that gift of gab.
Kathleen's point of view was this:
take whatever you can grab.

Seattle was another girl
who left her mark upon the map.
Karen liked to tie me up,
and left me hanging by a strap.
Jeannie had this nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage.
Mary Ellen who had a son
said "I must go," but finally stayed.

Gloria the last taboo
was shattered by her tongue one night.
Mimi brought the taboo back
and held it up before the light.
Marilyn who knew no shame,
was never ever satisfied.
Julie came and went so fast,
she didn't even say good-bye.

Well Rhonda had a house in Venice,
lived on brown rice and cocaine.
Patty had a house in Houston,
shot cough syrup in her veins.
Linda thought her life was empty,
filled it up with alcohol.
Katherine was much too pretty,
she didn't do that shit at all.

Uh-uh. Not Katherine.

Pauline thought that love was simple,
turn it on and turn it off.
Jean-Marie was complicated,
like some French film-maker's plot.
Gina was the perfect lady,
always kept her stockings straight.
Jackie was a rich punk-rocker,
silver spoon and a paper plate.

Sarah was a modern dancer,
lean pristine transparency.
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency.
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots.
Brenda's strange obsession
****was for certain vegetables and fruit.****

****Roweena was an artist's daughter,****
the deeper image shook her up.
Dee-dee's mother left her father,
took his money and his truck.
Debbie-Rae had no such problems,
perfect Norman Rockwell home.
Nina sixteen had a baby,
left her parents lived alone.
Bobbie joined a new-wave band,
and changed her name to Bobbie-sox.
Eloise who played guitar,
sang songs about boils and cocks.
Terri didn't give a shit,
****was just a nihilist.****
Ronnie was much more my style,
she wrote songs just like this.
Jezebel went forty days
drinking nothing but Perrier.
Dinah drove her Chevrolet
into the San Francisco bay.
Judy came from Ohio,
she's a Scientologist.
****Amiranta here's a kiss,****
I chose you to end this list.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 3:38:59 AM EDT
Half Japanese Girl by Weezer

Any Gwar swong
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 3:54:10 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 4:55:54 AM EDT
The Kink's "Lola"

Lo = Spanish pronoun for he
La = Spanish pronoun for she

He she, she she she he she

Kind of catchy tune, but way to gay to be a fav.



Afroman's "Because I got High" is hilarious as is the oldy, "Hair" by the Cowsills
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:01:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 5:08:00 AM EDT by klutz347]
Rock Lobster- B52's
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:05:43 AM EDT
Time Warp

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:12:26 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:19:29 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 10:01:15 AM EDT by corwin1968]
Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa.....


Hey there, people, I’m bobby brown
They say I’m the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
I’m dressin’ sharp ’n’ i’m
Actin’ cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work ’n’ maybe later I’ll rape her

Oh God I am the american dream
I do not think I’m too extreme
An’ I’m a handsome sonofabitch
I’m gonna get a good job ’n’ be real rich

(get a good
Get a good
Get a good
Get a good job)

Women’s liberation
Came creepin’ across the nation
I tell you people I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say when
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God I am the american dream
But now I smell like vaseline
An’ I’m a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady...i don’t know which

(I wonder wonder
Wonder wonder)

So I went out ’n’ bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I’m still kinda cute
Got a job doin’ radio promo
An’ none of the jocks can even tell I’m a homo
Eventually me ’n’ a friend
Sorta drifted along into s&m
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
’long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God I am the american dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An’ I’ll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin’, thank you, fred!
Oh god, oh god, I’m so fantastic!
Thanks to freddie, I’m a sexual spastic
And my name is bobby brown
Watch me now, I’m goin down,
And my name is bobby brown
Watch me now, I’m goin down, etc.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:28:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 5:30:28 AM EDT by barrysuperhawk]
A current Fav:
Rammstein - Keine Lust (Don't feel like it)

I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it

I don't feel like not hating myself
Don't feel like touching myself
I would feel like masturbating
Don't feel like trying it
I would feel like getting undressed
Don't feel like seeing myself naked

I would feel like it with big animals
Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing

I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
I don't feel like it
No I don't feel like it

I don't feel like chewing anything
because I don't feel like digesting it
Don't feel like weighing myself
Don't feel like lying in fat

I would feel like it with big animals
Don't feel like risking it
Don't feel like going from the snow
Don't feel like freezing
I'll just keep lying here
and I'll count the flies again
I listlessly touch myself
and notice I've been frigid for a long time already [1]
So frigid, I'm cold . . .

I don't feel like it



Back on topic with an older song...
School Of Fish - 3 Strange Days

Here are the lyrics to the song as best as I could figure out:

For 3 strange days, I had no obligations. My mind was a blur, I did not know what to do. And I think I lost myself when I lost my motivation, and now I'm walking around the city just waiting to come to from 3 strange days.

For 3 strange days, I couldn't put a smile on my face. So they dressed me up in all of their clothes and took me somewhere else. And Johnny Clueless was there with his simulated woodgrain, so I pulled up a chair and started drinking by myself for 3 strange days.

And I've got to make it through, no matter what it takes. I've got to make it through 3 strange days.

I laid down for a while and I woke up on the ocean. Floating on my back and staring at the grey. It was completely still, except the pounding of my heart, was bringing me back to life from 3 strange days.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:35:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 5:36:36 AM EDT by mandingo]
Pink Floyd from the Works album. The song is called "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave And Grooving With A Pict"

It's 4:39 min:sec long and these are the only lyrics.


Aye an' a bit of Mackeral settler rack and ruin
ran it doon by the haim, 'ma place
well I slapped me and I slapped it doon in the side
and I cried, cried, cried.

The fear a fallen down taken never back the raize and then Craig Marion,
get out wi' ye Claymore out mi pocket a' ran doon, doon the middin stain
picking the fiery horde that was fallen around ma feet.
Never he cried, never shall it ye get me alive
ye rotten hound of the burnie crew. Well I snatched fer the blade O my
Claymore cut and thrust and I fell doon before him round his feet.

Aye! A roar he cried frae the bottom of his heart that I would nay fall
but as dead, dead as 'a can be by his feet; de ya ken?

...and the wind cried back.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:43:32 AM EDT
Take the Skinheads Bowling (Camper Van Beethoven)

Every day, I get up and pray to Jah
And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one
Everybody's comin' home for lunch these days
Last night there were skinheads on my lawn
Take the skinheads bowling
Take them bowling
Take the skinheads bowling
Take them bowling
Some people say that bowling alleys got big lanes
Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same
There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with anything
I has a dream last night, but I forget what it was
I had a dream last night about you, my friend
I had a dream--I wanted to sleep next to plastic
I had a dream--I wanted to lick your knees
I had a dream--it was about nothing
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 5:56:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 5:56:34 AM EDT by JCKnife]
The entire They Might Be Giants catalog--one of my favorite bands.

Question: when I was a kid I was raised on Country (70's) but when I was maybe 10 I was listening to a rock station one day and heard a song called "Children of the Sun." Anyone know the artist? It had a lot of guitar and was one of the first songs that introduced me to rock.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 8:13:19 AM EDT
LYRICS would be a Good Thing, people

Google is your friend
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 8:17:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 8:18:32 AM EDT by DK-Prof]
Satan Gave Me a Taco - by Beck

I love it.



Satan gave me a taco
And it made me really sick
The chicken was all raw
And the grease was mighty thick
The rice was all rancid
And the beans were so hard
I was getting kinda dizzy
Eatin’ all the lard
There was aphids on the lettuce
And I ate every one
And after I was done
The salsa melted off my tongue
Pieces of tortilla
Got stuck in my throat
And the stains on my clothes
Burned a hole through my coat
My stomach was a’tremblin’
And I broke out in a rash
I was so dry and thirsty
And I didn’t have no cash
So I went and found a hose
Tore off all my clothes
Turned on the water
And it shot right up my nose
Some old lady came along
And she thought I was a freak
So she beat me with her handbag
’til I could hardly speak
I was lying there naked
My body badly bruised
In a pool of my own blood
Unconscious and confused
Well the cops came and got me
And threw me in their van
And I woke up on the ceiling
And I couldn’t find my hand
They took me to the judge
His eyes a’glowin’ red
The courtroom was filled
With witches and the dead
Well the sheriff was a hell-hound
With fangs and claws
The prisoners were tied up
And chained to the walls
The air was getting thick
The smoke was getting thicker
The judge read the verdict
Said cut off his head!
Well they placed me on the altar
And they raised up the axe
My head was about to explode
When I noticed the marshall stacks
I noticed all the smoke machines
Cameras and the lights
Some guy with a microphone
Runnin’ around dancin’ in tights
And I noticed the crew
And the band playin’ down below
And I realized I was in a rock video
So I went and joined the band
And I went out on tour
And I smoked a lot of heroin
And I passed out in manure
I made out with the groupies (aw yeah)
Started fires backstage (aw yeah, start ’em up)
Made a lot of money (aw yeah, I’m makin it)
And I gave it all away (give it all to me)
Well the band got killed (aw, bunch of losers)
So I started a solo career (aw haw, yeah
And I won all the awards (get ’em all now)
And I drank all the beer (drink it all up; get funky)
And I opened up the taco stand (aw haw, etc.)
Just to smell the smell
Cookin’ with the devil
Fryin’ down in hell

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 8:19:46 AM EDT
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smith's

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now

I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now


In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?


Two lovers entwined pass me by
And heaven knows I'm miserable now


I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Oh, why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?


What she asked of me at the end of the day
Caligula would have blushed


"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled


In my life
Why do I smile
At people who I'd much rather kick in the eye ?


I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now


"You've been in the house too long" she said
And I (naturally) fled


In my life
Why do I give valuable time
To people who don't care if I live or die ?
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 8:28:32 AM EDT
Hobbit on the Rocks by Toad the Wet Sprocket


There's an old Virginian vibraphone
With a calculated gait
And a man who thinks he's Al Capone
With a cumberbund and cape

Don't criticize what a vicar would prize in you
And talk to the man if you feel he needs talking to
And the hobbit on the rocks is crying
And the fish upon the docks are dying

There's an orchestra in rococo
and an insulated dwarf
And the ships are sinking in the sea
As they sail from the shores

Don't criticize what a vicar would prize in you

And the hobbit on the rocks is crying
And the fish upon the docks are dying
And the hobbit on the rocks is crying
For the grunion in the sand entwining

Don't criticize what a vicar would prize in you
And talk to yourself if you feel you need talking to

*this song was reportedly written in 8 minutes or so, and means absolutely nothing.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 8:40:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 8:41:04 AM EDT by LoginName]
"Life Sucks, Then You Die" By The Fools


My house burned down in a flash of thunder.
My wife ran off with a one-legged plumber.
My crops fell dead when the riverbed went dry.
My dog got squashed by a pickup truck.
My son ran away and got hooked on drugs.
My daughter's knocked up by the class of '85.

People say that life is good;
It don't seem good to me.
I'm lost without a paddle,
And I'm headed up shit creek.
People say that life is fun,
But I don't know why.
As far as I can tell,
LIFE SUCKS then you die.

The government dumps its toxic waste
Right on top of my mother's grave.
A team of experts say it won't do her no harm.
But my sheep went crazy and killed my mule.
I cut off my dick with a power tool
Fixin' the hole where the meteor hit the barn.
(And it hurt, too!)

People say that life is good,
But I just piss and moan.
I got one foot on a banana peel,
The other in the Twilight Zone.
People say that life is fun,
But I don't know why.
As far as I can tell,
LIFE SUCKS then you die.

Let me hear some "yee-hah"s out there!

I went to the store to buy some shells.
My gun went off and blew the owner to hell.
Now I'm sittin' here in jail, singin' this song.
And one guy wants to cut me with a knife.
Another guy wants me to be his wife.
Hey, I wish they'd hang me before somethin' really goes wrong!

People say that life is good,
Give thanks for what you have.
When all you have is nothin',
Nothin' makes you glad.
People say that life is fun,
But I don't know why.
As far as I can tell,
LIFE SUCKS, then you die.
I said, people say that life is fun,
But I don't know why.
As far as I can tell,
LIFE SUCKS,
LIFE SUCKS
LIFE SUCKS, then you die.

Runner-up...

"People Whod Died" Jim Carrol Band

Teddy sniffing glue he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on east two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine

Refrain:
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

G-berg and georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper manhattan
Sly in vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby od'd on drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died / i miss 'em--they died

Repeat refrain

Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And eddie, i miss you more than all the others,
And i salute you brother/ this song is for you my brother

Repeat refrain

Herbie pushed tony from the boys' club roof
Tony thought that his rage was just some goof
But herbie sure gave tony some bitchen proof
"hey," herbie said, "tony, can you fly?"
But tony couldn't fly . . . tony died

Repeat refrain:

Brian got busted on a narco rap
He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers
He said, hey, i know it's dangerous,
But it sure beats riker's
But the next day he got offed
By the very same bikers

Repeat refrain; repeat song to eddie
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 9:10:53 AM EDT

Originally Posted By JCKnife:
The entire They Might Be Giants catalog--one of my favorite bands.

Question: when I was a kid I was raised on Country (70's) but when I was maybe 10 I was listening to a rock station one day and heard a song called "Children of the Sun." Anyone know the artist? It had a lot of guitar and was one of the first songs that introduced me to rock.



That would be:
Billy Thorpe - Children Of The Sun
People of the earth can you hear me
Came a voice from the sky on that magical night
And in the colors of a thousand sunsets
They traveled to the world on a silvery light

The people of the earth stood waiting
Watching as the ships came one by one
Setting fire to the sky as they landed
Carrying to the world children of the sun, children of the sun

All at once came a sound from the inside
Then a beam made of light hit the ground
Everyone felt the sound of their heartbeat
Every man, every woman, every child

They passed the limits of imagination
Through the door to the world of another time
And on the journey of a thousand lifetimes
With the children of the sun, they started their climb

Children of the sun, children of the sun

No more gravity, nothing holding them down
Floating endlessly, as their ship leaves the ground
Through the walls of time, at the speed of light
Fly the crystal ships on their celestial flight, on their celestial flight

Children of the sun, children of the sun...
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 9:11:00 AM EDT
King Missle's - Detachable Penis
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 9:11:01 AM EDT
Ah guys I can't believe that no one else has posted this classic.

ARTIST: Warren Zevon
TITLE: Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
Lyrics and Chords


Roland was a warrior from the land of the midnight sun
With his Thompson gun for hire, fighting to be done
The deal was made in Denmark on a dark and stormy day
So he set out for Biafra to join the bloody fray

/ Am C - F / - C - G / 1st / F C G Am /

Through '66 and 7, they fought the Congo war
With their fingers on their triggers, knee deep in gore
For days and nights they battled the Bantu to their knees
They killed to earn their living and to help out the Congolese

Roland the Thompson gunner
Roland the Thompson gunner

/ F C G Am / /

His comrades fought beside him, Van Owen and the rest
But of all the Thompson gunners, Roland was the best
So the CIA decided they wanted Roland dead
That son of a bitch Van Owen blew off Roland's head

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
Time, time, time, for another peaceful war
Norway's bravest son
But time stands still for Roland, 'til he evens up the score
They can still see his headless body stalking through the night
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun
In the muzzle flash of Roland's Thompson gun

/ C G F Am / C - G - / AmG CG F Am / C G Am - / /

Roland searched the continent for the man who'd done him in
He found him in Mombassa, in a barroom drinking gin
Roland aimed his Thompson gun, he didn't say a word
But he blew Van Owen's body from there to Johannesburg

Roland the headless Thompson gunner
Roland the headless Thompson gunner
Roland the headless Thompson gunner, talking about the man
Roland the headless Thompson gunner

The eternal Thompson gunner
Still wand'ring through the night
Now it's ten years later, but he still keeps up the fight
In Ireland, in Lebanon, in Palestine and Berkeley
Patty Hearst heard the burst
Of Roland's Thompson gun and bought it

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 9:16:32 AM EDT
Come Together by The Beatles

Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly
He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what he please

He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football
He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola
He say "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together right now over me

He bag production he got walrus gumboot
He got Ono sideboard he one spinal cracker
He got feet down below his knee
Hold you in his armchair you can feel his disease
Come together right now over me

He roller-coaster he got early warning
He got muddy water he one mojo filter
He say "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see
Come together right now over me
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 9:17:16 AM EDT

Question: when I was a kid I was raised on Country (70's) but when I was maybe 10 I was listening to a rock station one day and heard a song called "Children of the Sun."

Billy Thorpe was the artist and the song came from an album of the same title.

My favorite "wierd" song? "Martian Boogie" by Brownsville Station.


Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:10:10 PM EDT
I don't know why it popped into my head, but the first song I thought of was this (only song I know of that featured a chainsaw as a musical instrument )


The Lumberjack
by Jackyl

I was born in the backwoods
Of a two-bit nowhere town
Fathered up some rock 'n' roll (baby)
So you muthers could boogie down
I ain't whistling dixie
No I'm a rebel with a groove
All around the world they go 'round and 'round
When they dig on my new stainless steel sound

CHORUS
I'm a lumberjack baby
I'm gonna cut you down to size
I'm a lumberjack baby
And you're the one that gets my prize
And when you hear my motor running
You know I surely be coppin' a rise
So I'm gonna crank it up and cut it down

I'm a lumberjack baby
I'm a lumberjack now baby
I'm a lumberjack baby
I'm a lumberjack baby
But I ain't jacked my lumber baby
Since my chain saw you

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:28:53 PM EDT
Primus-Tommy the Cat

I remember as it were a meal ago

Said tommy the cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter
May have nestled it’s way into his mighty throat. many a fat alley rat
Had met it’s demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel
Of this awesome prowling machine. truly a wonder of nature this urban
Predator. tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare
Occasion such as this that he did.

She came slidin’ down the alleyway like butter drippin’ off a hot
Biscuit. the aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in
Even the oldest of tigers that hung around the hot spot in those
Days. the sight was beyond belief. many a head snapped for double,
Even triple, takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the
Delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were
Known to hang out. they hung in droves. such a multitude of
Masculinity could only be found in one place... and that was
O’malley’s alley. the air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into
The heart of the alley. she knew what she wanted. she was lookin’
For that stud bull, the he cat. and that was me. tommy the cat is my
Name and I say unto thee...

Say baby do you wanna lay down by me
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:31:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By klutz347:
Rock Lobster- B52's


LOL. That's wacked. Good choice.
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:34:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 1:36:33 PM EDT by FortyFiveAutomatic]
Jefferson Airplane - White Rabbit

or maybe

Frank Zappa - My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:34:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/2/2006 1:41:31 PM EDT by cyclone]
I like "Cosmik Debris"..............

The mystery man came over
And he said I’m outta sight!
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach nirvana tonight
If I was ready, willing and able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of
His pressing affairs and devote
His attention to me

But I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Look here brother, don’t waste your time on me

The mystery man got nervous
And he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
And he whipped out a shaving kit
Now I thought it was a razor
And a can of foaming goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo
He said you might not believe this, little fella
But it’ll cure your asthma too

And I said look here brother
Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?
Look here brother, don’t waste your time on me
(don’t waste your time)

I’ve got troubles of my own, I said
And you can’t help me out
So, take your meditations and your preparations
And ram it up your snout!
But I got the crystal ball, he said
And held it to the ligh
So I snatched it, all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper ’round my head
So I looked like I was deep
I said some mumbo-jumbo, then
I told him he was going to sleep
I robbed his rings and pocketwatch
And everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future, then
As long as he was hanging around
I said the price of meat has just gone up
And your old lady has just gone down!

And I said look here brother-who you
Jiving with that cosmik debris?
Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?
Don’t you know, you could make more money as a butcher?
So, don’t waste your time on me
Don’t waste it, don’t waste your time on me



Originally Posted By gus:
Frank Zappa - Dynah-Moe Humm

I couldn't say where she was comin from but I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said look here son, I got a fourty dollar bill says you can't make me come
You just can't do it.....

I ripped off her bloomers and stiffened my thumb and applied rotation on her sugar plumb
I poked and stroked till my wrist got numb but still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm...


etc.,etc...

Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:35:42 PM EDT
Muffin Man by Frank Zappa (there were some other lines but these are sung)


Girl you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn’t know nuthin’

Girl you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin’
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin’
Link Posted: 4/2/2006 1:40:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By sling_blade:
King Missle

Detachable Penis
....



This was the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread title.
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