By HARRY O. RUFUS, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 1 minute ago

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Standing on the steps at the east face of the Capitol this morning, Senators Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Charles Schumer (D-NY)  apologized "for years of misguided attempts at abrogation of the civil rights of millions of Americans."

"I get it now," said Schumer, wiping away tears.  "The Second Amendment is the one that guarantees all the others.  Firearms for personal protection and the prevention of tyranny are essential rights of all Americans that can no longer be denied."  

Aides close to both Senators say that both came to the sudden realization that gun control was against the "very tenets of our foundation" and will work to reverse years of support for the eventual confiscation of firearms in the United States, "beginning with the 1968 GCA and working back to the 1934 NFA."

"I knew something wasn't right with my ban on Assault Weapons - and I knew that, as a concealed pistol licensee, this isn't just a privilege for the wealthy or the powerful. We're going to jointly introduce a measure for Vermont-style, unlicensed carry throughout the United States," said Feinstein, "and we're going to win!  If gays can get married, and twelve million illegal aliens can become citizens, Americans can sure as hell pack their 1911 anywhere they want. It will make this country safer!"  Feinstein spoke with rare passion as she brandished a preban FEG underfolder.

Democratic Party spokesperson Judith Wysocki said that "as party leaders, all of us have given some thought to how out of touch we are with the mainstream.  America has spoken, and the Democratic party is finally listening."

A call to Senator Hillary Rodham-Clinton's office went unanswered.  The Brady Campaign did not answer the telephone either.

Feinstein and Schumer will both appear at the Chantilly Gun Show in suburban northern Virginia at the end of the month.  "I'm going to get an AR-15 and an AK just like this. As they say on arf.com, 'get both!' " said Feinstein.

Happy April 1st to you too!

That image is wrong...

You BASTARD!

Smoking weed again huh?
It is 1apr06 aint it

Is that a Hungarian Underfolder?

I don't think she's holding the weapon properly!  Especially in a  crowd of people.

Quoted: I don't think she's holding the weapon properly!  Especially in a  crowd of people.

If loaded, it would be no big loss if she pulled the trigger.

That's my AK she's holding. I bought it from her for $50 after that pic was taken.

"We are quite certain this was the gun used in Heat."

if only that story were true

Here I was thinking some enterprising soul had taken a Ka-Bar, cut their hearts out of their chests, and swapped them. Unsuccessfully.