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Posted: 3/31/2006 10:35:33 AM EDT
as she's recovering from minor surgery.

We just went out for lunch and you wouldn't believe the glares I was getting from some sow.

I kind of enjoyed it.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:36:20 AM EDT
That will teach her to talk back to you!
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:36:43 AM EDT
"Hey, listen, I already told you twice! You want me to tell you again??"



Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:36:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By UH_SALT_RIFLE:
That will teach her to talk back to you!



Shouldn't have had to tell her twice, though.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:37:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2006 10:39:55 AM EDT by PosterChild]
Should have told the sow that if she doesn't stop eyeballin' you she's next.



Edited to remove joke about "telling her twice".
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:37:21 AM EDT
Just tell them your ''device'' operates at a higher pressure and she didn't believe you...
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:37:37 AM EDT
What happened to her? What kind of surgery gives you black eyes?
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:37:38 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Rodent:
as she's recovering from minor surgery.

We just went out for lunch and you wouldn't believe the glares I was getting from some sow.

I kind of enjoyed it.



Nose job or some sort of sinus surgery??
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:37:57 AM EDT
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?"

"Nothing. You've told her twice already."

<insert that stupid little icon where I'm hiding behind a brick wall>
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:40:23 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ScottS:
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?"

"Nothing. You've told her twice already."

<insert that stupid little icon where I'm hiding behind a brick wall>





Just put the closing bracket on [peep
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:41:24 AM EDT

PICS!!

Shok
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:41:36 AM EDT
OMG, talk about funny looks....


... when my wife was 8 months pregnant, we went out to dinner for my birthday. She had put on a lot of weight (in a sexy pregnant wife kinda way) and her fingers had swollen up, so she had quit wearing any rings at about month 6.

So, there I am in a suit, with wedding ring, holding hands and kissing a VISIBLY pregnant chick with no wedding rings......

about 3/4 way thru dinner I realized why several tables of guys were looking at us and grinning -- they thought I was married to someone else and she was my mistress that I had impregnated!!

Of course, that made us horny so we made out even more (sorry, TMI, I know....)

It is fun to give other folks something to talk about
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:42:39 AM EDT
The PimpFu is strong with you!
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:44:54 AM EDT
My guy was singlehandedly putting up some shelving in the shed one time, and ended up with a shiner.

He thought little about it until we went together to an auto maintenance class, and when we were signing in, the instructor obviously stared at his black eye.

"I kept telling to put the toilet seat down!" I said "but maybe now he'll listen to me."
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:45:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By topknot:
The PimpFu is strong with you!





Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:47:13 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:47:44 AM EDT

Hope you dressed appropriately




Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:50:05 AM EDT
Avoid Bud White.

"You OK Lady?" "It's not what you think mister."
LA Confidential.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:51:56 AM EDT
A woman with 2 black eyes has already been told twice.


A woman with 1 black eye is a fast learner.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:52:57 AM EDT
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:54:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/31/2006 10:57:43 AM EDT by Yojimbo]
LOL!

That reminds me of the time my wife was having issues with one of her molars. She was holding an ice bag to her jaw while we were driving to the dentist and I was getting so many bad looks and glares from other women.

I thought it was funny as hell! My wife cracked up laughing when I told her about it so it probably looked like she was crying and I'm sure it looked even worse to all the nosey people...
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 10:56:12 AM EDT
She forget the mustard on your sammich?
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:38:51 AM EDT

Originally Posted By FortyFiveAutomatic:
What happened to her? What kind of surgery gives you black eyes?



I'll take $200 for cosmetic eye surgery Alex.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:45:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By rkbar15:

Originally Posted By FortyFiveAutomatic:
What happened to her? What kind of surgery gives you black eyes?



I'll take $200 for cosmetic eye surgery Alex.



Like LASIK or some such procedure? I didn't know it did that.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:47:45 AM EDT
The doc went in under her lower eyelids to remove the "bags" that only she could see
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:54:24 AM EDT


LOL. My wife swiped the corner of the header of her moms car door right across the bridge of her nose. Ended up with one black eye and a big scrape on the nose.

All of the other nurses she works with asked her if I did it.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 11:56:22 AM EDT
Should'a listened the first time.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 12:03:17 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Yojimbo:
LOL!

That reminds me of the time my wife was having issues with one of her molars. She was holding an ice bag to her jaw while we were driving to the dentist and I was getting so many bad looks and glares from other women.

I thought it was funny as hell! My wife cracked up laughing when I told her about it so it probably looked like she was crying and I'm sure it looked even worse to all the nosey people...



When my wife was born, she had one foot that was turned inward (I forget the medical term) and she had to have surgery to correct it. They put her leg in a cast afterwards to help straighten it. My in-laws were at the store, with my wife in the stroller. As you might expect for a toddler recovering from surgery, she was pretty fussy and crying a lot. My father-in-law waiting until some old ladies were walking past the stroller and said,"If you don't stop crying, I'll break the other one!" The old ladies were horrified and my mother-in-law was not amused.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 12:06:35 PM EDT
IM me for proper donkey punch techniques
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 12:12:02 PM EDT
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 12:12:42 PM EDT
while camping, my darling ex went down 300ft of a rather steep grade after my telling her that it was too steep to walk down and to take the long way around..maybe an extra 5-6 min walk
as she turned to tell me to MMOB..down she went, she was only wearing rather short shorts and a bikini top and flip flops,,
busted her nose, blackend both eyes, and numurous bruises down her body, shoulder to kneecap from fist sized rocks on the hillside and she ended up hitting a larger rock at the bottom of the hill that brusied her ass on the right cheek from the back of her thigh to above her kidneys, by the grace of God she didnt break her neck or anything else.
but she looked like someone worked her over good..

of course being July in Texas she didnt dress to cover them up and the looks I got the next 2 weeks anytime we went anywhere..was discomforting for me to say the least
had a cop follow us around a flea market for an hour, guess he was waiting for me to backhand her one..

Link Posted: 3/31/2006 1:29:59 PM EDT
So you lift your hand like you're going to smack her and say in a loud voice, "YOU WANT A FRESH ONE?"
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