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Posted: 3/30/2006 9:11:38 PM EDT
In the application for OCS, I had to write a 100 word essay on why I wanted to be a Marine Corps officer. Figured i'd share it with all my friends here. You can critique, but i'm writing it into my application as soon as I post this...


There are many reasons why I desire to participate in a Marine Corps officer program, but I believe the most important is my aspiration to be a Marine. That aspiration stems from the sense of pride and honor I see shared among Marines both past and present. Also, since childhood I have dreamt of being part of the military, and with the recent rise in terrorism I feel a duty to my country to do my part helping eliminate terrorism and all other threats. A duty I believe can best be fulfilled as a Marine Corps officer.

It has to be written in cursive and signed, hah so ive written it out twice in cursive to practice since it's been years since ive written anything in cursive.

~1BMF
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:17:46 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 9:18:39 PM EDT by Big_Louie]
I don't know what they are looking for, but I can help on style.

The last sentence is a fragment. Change the word "dreamt" in the second to last sentence to "aspired". You want it to sound like a practical, rational plan instead of a dream. Also, pull out a thesaurus and find some synonyms for "aspire" so you don't repeat the word over and over. Instead of "participate in a Marine Corps officer program", say "why I desire to be a Marine Corps officer". It sounds more confident.

Oh, good luck.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:23:56 PM EDT
100 words really isn't an essay..its more of a page.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:29:50 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
100 words really isn't an essay..its more of a page.



for some its a sentence...man are those people annoying
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:30:15 PM EDT
I always liked the idea of "Mastering the Science of Warfare and the Art of Leadership."
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:38:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By dsg2003gt:

Originally Posted By SirDrinksAlot:
100 words really isn't an essay..its more of a page.



for some its a sentence...man are those people annoying






Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:39:21 PM EDT
The prompt I was given for this was this:

The ability to communicate in an essential trait of a leader. In 100 words or less, in your own handwriting (cursive not printed or typed- black ink) express your reasons for desiring to be selected for participation in a Marine Corps commissioning program.

As the regional screening board do not get get an opportunity to interview you in person, this statement is the only chance to express your motivation for a commission and to demonstrate your written communication skills. You should use a dictionary to assist you in writing your essay.

Use the space provided and please be sure to sign the statement at the bottom.

______


Yeah, it wasnt much of an essay, but writing on this topic is difficult to keep under 100 words and sound intelligent.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:40:19 PM EDT
I would write on how you want to be leader...
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:42:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 9:43:30 PM EDT by Big_Louie]
Efficiency in language is what makes a good writing style. You need to communicate a large amount of information clearly and simply using a small number of words. I have a hard time doing that.
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 9:47:57 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 9:48:33 PM EDT by walrus]
PFT is key. Essay is not.

If you can write 100 words that mention something about the aspects of leadership coherently, you're set.

I reformatted the comptuer so I no longer have mine. I was approved in January for the 2nd Increment, 2006 PLC. Good luck.

Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:00:39 PM EDT
Cool, this will be my first(juniors).

Are you going air or ground? I passed the flight physical but changed to ground. My father a Naval Aviator, got me into flying and wanted me to do that. But all my senior year in highschool after I bought my first AR he always would say "If you want to play with guns why dont you join the Marines?" Kinda funny, ive got his support though, he just doesnt want me getting shot/killed.


Any other PLC guys on here?
Link Posted: 3/30/2006 10:06:28 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 3/30/2006 10:09:41 PM EDT by walrus]
I'm ground contract. Now is prime time to be air, so many slots open.

I've kicked around the idea of air, but there is no guarantee I'll fly a F-18 or something like that. I don't want to spend a career in the Corps flying a C-130 or some transport plane. Furthermore, it's the Marine Corps. When I think Marine Corps, I think riflemen. Not knocking the air guys in the least, but I think the spirit of the Corps centers around ground.

I was supposed to go 1st Increment, May 28th, but got plantar fasciitis from over training in October (I want this). Hopefully the extra 6 weeks or so allows more time for healing.

ETA: Like I said, PFT over anything else. It's what they look for in selection. The guys in my pool who have passed juniors and seniors say juniors is by far easier. As long as you can keep up during PT, don't get injured, and aren't a total clown, you won't get dropped. Seniors on the other hand is where you REALLY have to show leadership. Apparentally they'll drop you in seniors regardless of PFT and academics if you don't have what it takes to lead men.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 3:08:58 PM EDT
Walrus is correct, the PFT, your GT (ASVAB, SAT, ACT) and grades are what will sell you. The essay is not all the important.

Look at me I am not all that good of a writer, but I was selected because the other portions of my application package we good enough.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 3:34:16 PM EDT
Semper Fi future brother...

Going to PLC summer 2007... fucking jaw injury kept me out this year.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 5:15:56 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 1BMF:
There are many reasons why I desire to participate in a Marine Corps officer program, but I believe the most important is my aspiration to be a Marine. That aspiration stems from the sense of pride and honor I see shared among Marines both past and present. Also, since childhood I have dreamt of being part of the military, and with the recent rise in terrorism I feel a duty to my country to do my part helping eliminate terrorism and all other threats. A duty I believe can best be fulfilled as a Marine Corps officer.
~1BMF



Why best as an officer? You can do all the former stuff as an enlisted Marine. Why do you want to be an officer?
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 5:16:48 PM EDT
Don't write an 'essay', write a 'manifesto'. They'll respect that more.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 5:17:45 PM EDT
What they want to hear is you want to lead and a difference.
Link Posted: 3/31/2006 5:22:54 PM EDT
I'd talk about the awesome responsibilities and honor of leading Marines.
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